bitmaxmouse

clutches heart

Sat, 23 Apr 2005 18:13:18 GMT

Oh my god I think I'm going to have a heart attack.

Within 24 hours both quick_quotes and my fav. WIP (Cambiare Podentes) have gone down without any warning.

At least quick_quotes redirected to hogwarts_today.

but but... the Cambiare Podentes... *cries*

This is taking entire too long...

Tue, 19 Apr 2005 20:39:31 GMT

As you know from my last post, I lost a large chunk of my story and rewriting is very disheartening for any author. But at the same time, a lot of people really want to see the 3rd year, so I decided to start posting WIP pieces of it onto my lj and then finally do a whole post on FF.net when I'm done.

Warning: These are all completely unalphaed (meaning I didn't even go back for a 2nd read, it's all straight from the brain to the keyboard). Which also implies they're also unbetaed. Sorry for the long wait, I started this in the summer of my HS senior year. I didn't realize how time consuming being a CSE Major was, I'm lucky if I get sleep sometimes. And yes, I even have summer school (because I'd like to graduate in 4 years), so I don't get all that much writing done either.

Author: bitmaxmouse
Title: The Twin - Year Three
Status: WIP
Part: 1/?
Pairing: None... not really.
Rating: PG-PG13
Warnings: None.
Summary: Harry's Third Year. House arrest, escaped-prisoners, and dementors
A/N: I've gone back and reread The Twin for Years 1 and 2, and I'm a bit bothered by it, esp. the borderline Gary Sueness of some parts. I really would like to revise, but I guess I'll have to save that for another day.

Year Three.

Summer was horrible in a different way. Jerry hadn’t actually lived up to his threat yet, perhaps because Mum was watching Harry like a hawk. And although St. Mungo’s was able to pump out most of the poison from Harry’s bloodstream, he was still sick and weak, even after leaving St. Mungo’s. He had vomited a few times, thankfully never on the rug, but still, it was pitifully embarrassing.

The only nice thing was that his father wasn’t acting like his normal arrogant self. But then…he seemed to be emulating how Draco had been last school year, James he walked around with a tenseness that resembled a wary cat whenever he was near Harry, afraid that his youngest might die if he breathed wrong.

Anyways, the summer was horrible for Harry because it felt like he was under house arrest. Lily would constantly shadow him, trying to convince him to not go outside, despite Harry’s growing irritation and restlessness. In fact they had gotten into a bit of a spat… which resulted in slammed doors and hours of brooding.

Harry was more than aggravated that he was being treated as a cripple again. And that growing closeness he had felt with his mother seemed to have disappeared as the worst part of her was brought out from her worrying.

The day Harry got the list of books to buy for Hogwarts, he felt an immense relief. At school he would have the freedom he once had to wander about without the fear of being ragged on by parental figures.

That is until mum said:

“Maybe you should stay home this year.”

Harry gaped at her dumbly for a few moments, convinced that he was still asleep, and this was some sort of elaborate nightmare. But her uneasy silence indicated that she wasn’t kidding. He let out an exasperated whine, “Moooom!... I’m going back to school! You’re driving me crazy at home!”

“But what if you get hurt?!” Mum said in a tone that frighteningly resembled Aunt Petunia’s.

“Well, I can’t stay locked up at home forever, I’m going to have to go outside again sometime.” Harry replied, with a hint of malice between grinding teeth.

Lily face resembled a crab as she scrounged her face up and her facial color began to match her hair color. She hated when Harry talked to her like that.

“You could do home study… I mean, I know I didn’t believe you in the past, but now I know you’re really smart, you can just read the books!” Lily quickly replied in a thin and a very high pitched voice. But even her eyes showed that she knew she was pulling at thin threads.

“I need to practice the spells…which underaged wizards are only allowed do to at school.” Harry replied slowly and in a punctuated way, as if he was not talking to his mother, but a toddler. He had been locked up all summer and since he couldn’t practice any of the spells he usually did in the clearing (he still couldn’t figure out why he didn’t get in trouble for using magic there, but he wasn’t about tell anyone and lose his favorite spot.), he felt immensely rusty.

It wasn’t easy and contrary to what the younger years believed, a lot of the more complicated spells were not just learned by reading it in textbooks. There was the practicing of the hand movements, the correct words, the state of mind, the picturing of making something happen, the way that you could feel yourself mold the magic.

He hadn’t been able to practice most of last year during school due to his difficult situation with his House. And this summer, he had only made it to the clearing once or twice by climbing out the window at night. But his small practice sessions hadn’t even come close to what he felt was enough.

~~~

A week before going back to school, Harry received a letter from Ron. The letter indicated that Ron was extremely agitated, his pet rat had disappeared nearly ten days ago. Ron had thought it had gotten into the house walls, but after Ron’s Mum had performed several search spells, Ron realized that his pet rat wasn’t even on the property.

The letter went on, with one after another ways that Scabbers could have been killed. It started off reasonable enough with: “he could have been eaten by a cat” but as Ron’s musings got a hold of him, it turned into: “he could have been carried off by a gnome, and a troll could have intercepted it and taken Scabbers (do trolls eat rats?), and then some bandits disguised as Chudely Cannon members could have…”

At some point Harry considered telling Ron to get himself checked over. But he quickly reigned in the impulse and instead Harry just gave Ron his condolences and wished him the best of luck on finding Scabbers.

As Harry finished tying the letter to Hedwig’s leg and opening the window for her, he heard the doorbell ring downstairs. Moments later, his mother called up from downstairs.

“Harry! Remus and Sirius are here! You better not still be in your pajamas!”

“I’m not mom!” Harry cried back.

“Then get down here and greet your uncles, honey!”

“Coming!” Harry yelled as he left his room.

Remus acted like his usual self, calmly giving Lily a light hug and standing there and smiling. Sirius, on the other hand, seemed a bit too cheerful and smug about something.

“Hey! Where’s James?” Sirius asked as he glanced towards the living room.

“Running a bit late, probably. You know how it’s like for Aurors.” Lily replied.

“You know, you should get one of those wizarding clocks that tell you what everyone is do…” Sirius started.

“No,” Lily cut off Sirius, “We’ve talked about this before.”

“But Lily.”

“If we did, I bet James would love to put your name on the clock, you’re just like family Sirius. Then, we can see every time when you’re going on a date, to work, to use the loo...”

Knowing James, who would probably make a sport out of fire calling Sirius every time he used the loo, Sirius suddenly changed his mind, “Oh, well… Uh, nevermind then luv.”

Lily replied dryly, “I thought so.”

The three of them headed over to the kitchen to sit at the table and drink tea, Harry decided that this was the best time to go over. Harry greeted his uncles and his mother gave him some tea as they waited around for James and Jerry. Jerry eventually came down at his slow and inconsiderate pace, but Sirius didn’t seem to notice as he gave the elder Potter son an enthusiastic pat and the two of them started to talk about Quidditch… like they did every time.

Harry instead turned to Remus and his mother who were conversing quietly at the kitchen table

“Come on Remus, tell me. Have you met someone? You’re practically glowing.” Lily prodded.

“Well, I was hoping to wait until James came back.” Remus said.

“Oh come on, every time you tell James something important, yes I can tell it’s important, like this, you always subsequently go out for drinks. I’d like to at least be able to get a word in before you set a foot out the door.”

Remus nodded, finally complying, he leaned in towards her and inched over a little towards Harry too, and whispered conspiratorially, “I’m Hogwart’s new Defense against the Dark Arts teacher this year.”

Lily gave an excited gasped as she clapped her hands, “That’s wonderful Remus!”

Harry was beaming in a silly sort of way as he mentally began to flit over all the wonderful advantages of having Remus as his Defense against the Dark Arts teacher.

Lily, after her moment of elation calmed a bit and said, “You have no idea how glad I am. I was so worried about Harry going back this year, because of what happened last year. But now that I know you’ll be there… Well, I feel much relieved.”

Remus smiled, “Don’t worry Lily, I’ll certainly keep an eye on him.”

“So, what are you going to teach us?” Harry eagerly asked while mentally giving a huge sigh of relief that his mother had dropped the terrible idea of keeping him at home.

Remus grinned and was about to speak when suddenly there was a very sudden and urgent rap on the front door. It sounded suspicious enough that Lily hesitated a second before heading to the front door. Both Remus and Sirius had also suddenly become alert and followed her closely.

But after Lily glanced at the crystal ball, which acted like an observation globe of the front porch, she saw that it was James and quickly opened the door for him.

The first thing that she noticed that was out of place was that James was very pale and was glancing shiftily around him. The second thing was that he was still wearing his Auror robes.

“What is it luv?” Lily quickly asked as she took a tentative step towards her husband.

James looked truly shaken as he averted his gaze from his wife and gave a tremulous gulp. Then, in a raspy, breaking voice he said, “They… oh… god… The… the.. um…”

“What is it James?” Sirius asked again, hoping that his stronger tone could prompt James to reply more quickly. His agitated state was worrying everyone.

“The… the L-Lestranges and your brother. T-They just escaped… f-from Azkaban, a little u-under two hours ago..” James quickly blurted out. Then he looked back again, “I think I need to go back. All of the backup Aurors are being called. But I just had to get home to warn you… especially after what happened after with… You-Know-Who.”

“All three of them?” Remus asked quietly, but with a small tremor.

James nodded. Then he looked at Remus and Sirius, “I… I also came back to re-strengthen the wards, will you help me?”

The two men nodded and started towards the front door, when James then also added quickly, “Oh, and... I was wondering…Can the both of you stay here with…with my family. Just …you know, in case…”

James didn’t have to finish his sentence as the two immediately complied, “Don’t worry about it, we’ll take care of them mate. We’re like family right?”

James gave them a shaky grin and then they continued on their way to add on additional wards to the house.

~~~~

They didn’t make the Diagon Alley trip this year. The moment the news of Death Eater escapes hit the wizarding world in the morning edition of The Daily Prophet, the Ministry organized the closure of all shops and announced that all the books that the Hogwarts students needed would be sent to their teachers, depending on subject and that they only need to owl their money to the shopkeepers.

Because Diagon Alley had closed down due to fear that the Death Eaters would target the naive children, Harry, Draco, Ron and Hermione’s usual beginning of the year encounter didn’t occur and they didn’t meet each other until the ride on the Hogwarts Express.

With the security around the Hogwarts Express heightened to extreme amounts, maneuvering around the Aurors and students was like going through a complex maze. Harry and Jerry had nearly missed the train because they kept almost running into the patrolling Aurors.

Once on the train, the twins went their separate ways, Jerry to the Gryffindor area and Harry to wherever his friends had reserved.

This time Hermione and Ron had found seats in between the Slytherin and Ravenclaw areas. Harry, having not entered the compartment yet, asked from outside, “Where’s Draco?”

“Saw him back there with a house elf trying to help him put up his stuff.” Ron replied.
Moments later, Harry saw a distinct flash of platinum hair and decided to go ahead and get into the compartment. Having only seen the left side of the compartment from outside, he gave a startled jump to see two men sitting on the left side. One of the men was a black bald Auror, as indicated by his uniform robes, and the other was… Harry tilted his head to get a better view of the sleeping man…

Remus!

Harry eagerly sat between the two men, he was about to prod Remus awake when Draco took a step in and froze, “What’s this?”

Ron pointed at the Auror, “The Ministry decided that each of the compartments has to have an Auror.”

Draco made a face and mad his way over to sit next to Ron, the only seat left in the now somewhat cramped compartment.

Draco then broke his insolent stare at the Auror and then turned to the sleeping man, “And him?”

“Oh, this is my Uncle Remus.” Harry said, perhaps a bit too happily.

“And he’s here because…”

“He’s the new Defense against the Dark Arts teacher.”

“Oh!” Hermione quickly responded, “Is he really?”

Harry nodded as Ron and Draco examined the sleeping man a little closer, “He any good?”

“Yeah, he used to teach me stuff on the side when he visited our house.” Harry said and then moved to try to poke Remus awake.

However, he suddenly stopped as the formerly silent Auror spoke in a gentle voice, even if he was a bulky sort of man, “Let him sleep, he’s been here since six in the morning helping to make the Hogwarts Express safe for travel.”

Harry looked up at the man, “What’s your name?” he suddenly asked seeing as how the brutish man wasn’t as frightening as he seemed.

“I’m Auror Kingsley Shacklebolt.” The Auror replied.

Even Draco, who had expected the man to be an arrogant prick, relaxed visibly when the man gave no sign of any affinity to hostility.

“So can you tell us about the situation so far?” Hermione jumped in.

Shacklebolt looked a bit surprised for a second before became thoughtful and answered, “As you know, the Lestranges have escaped from Azkaban. We anticipate that they might try to attack the Hogwarts Express, since out of all the Death Eaters we have put away, they are the most inclined to torture their victims and they don’t have qualms about the age or gender of their victims either. The fact that so many students are congregating today to go back to school makes the train and train station a prime target. Especially since children are far more easily tricked and kidnapped by skilled Dark Arts practitioners.”

Hermione gave a thoughtful nod, satisfied by Shacklebolt’s thorough answer.

“Has there been any sign of them?” Ron asked.

Shacklebolt shook his head, “On Azkaban, we put them in the most secure holding cells because they were the most dangerous.”

“So how did they get out, a guard fall asleep on the job?” Draco asked, a little mockingly.

However, Shacklebolt didn’t seemed to be fazed at all by Draco’s tone and answered, “The guards can’t fall asleep simply because Dementors don’t need sleep.”

Ron gulped loudly and shivered, “I’ve seen pictures of those things, they’re horrible.”

Shacklebolt nodded in agreement. Then he gave a deep sigh, “We’re still not sure how they got out. We think they might have gotten outside help… somehow. Probably someone with some knowledge of the Dark Arts, the job was sloppy, but it still allowed for the Lestranges to get out. Whomever did it, created a crack of some sort in the wards and cell walls and then it looks like the Lestrages took advantage of that and exploited it until they broke it open.”

“Aren’t Dementors supposed to make you insane if you’re around them too long? How could the Lestranges break out if they were left a shivering wreck?” Hermione asked, she had seen victims of Dementors before in magical creatures books.

“Because the Lestranges were probably insane to begin with. Being around the Dementors probably didn’t make too much a difference...” Shacklebolt murmured, “I was there at their sentencing trial.

Draco sat there tense and silent as the rest of them conversed about the escaped prisoners. It would not be difficult for Shacklebolt to realize that he was related to the ‘insane’ Lestranges. Fortunately, he didn’t seem to think of it at the moment.

For the last week, Draco had been listening to his parents talk about the escaped Death Eaters. Bellatrix was mother’s sister and his father was prideful that three Death Eaters had managed to escape the ‘inescapable’ Azkaban. However, there was an underlying unspoken wariness that settled over the house along with the ‘good’ news. It was obvious the Lestranges and Black could not have been able escape without outside help. And the only outside help that probably could have caused damage to the wards without being caught by the dementors had to be someone powerful…

Someone like the Dark Lord.

Draco was suddenly jolted out of thoughts from the train’s abrupt stop. Moments later, all the lights went out.

Ron made pathetic whimpering sounds, Hermione quickly put a hand over his mouth. Although Draco didn’t like Granger, he was thankful that she was smart enough to know that Weasel’s wretched noise would give them away.

They could hear people talking loudly, asking ‘What’s going on?’, ‘Why’d the train stop?’ and such.

Shacklebolt was already out of his seat, in fact, he had been standing since the train stopped and the lights went out.

Shacklebolt opened the door and looked around, nothing… just the dark corridors of the train. Then Shacklebolt left their compartment.

The four of them looked at each other uneasily. If they were attacked, they would be left completely vulnerable.

Harry quickly reached over to shake Remus awake.

Remus blearily opened his eyes, “Yes Harry?”

“The train has stopped, something’s happening.” Harry said in a disturbed voice.

These words immediately had Remus sitting upright. He quickly traded seats with Harry and sat close to the door. Then he directed Draco to sit next to Harry instead of being so close to train corridor.

“What do you think is going on?” Ron whispered.

The three shrugged, but whatever it was, they hoped it was just a simple small problem… like, perhaps some obstruction was blocking the train and could be dealt with quickly… but then that didn’t explain the lights.

Suddenly they heard yelps of fright from the Ravenclaw section of the train in front of them. The four huddled closer.

Remus already had his wand out, muttering about where all the Aurors had gone.

But soon enough, a strange sort of icy chill passed through their compartment. It wasn’t just any sort of chill. It was… stinging… like painful needles on their warm skin. A dark shadow stood right in front of their compartment. Then they started to feel an odd sinking feeling, terrible thoughts began to come to mind, like ‘We’re all going to die’ and ‘The Lestranges and Black will torture us to death’.

So caught up in their own misery, they hadn’t noticed that something was wrong with Harry.

Draco was the first to notice only because the strange seizure that Harry had sunk into had cause him to fall over on Draco.

The other two screamed, causing Remus to abruptly turn around, “Harry?!”

No one was guarding the compartment door any longer, and it slid open. Disgusting rotting grey flesh of bony fingers came in, along with the rest of the dementor.

Harry started to scream.

Remus, torn between helping his godson and fighting the dementor, finally decided to do the latter first. It seemed like that creature was causing Harry to go into a fit. A quick and well directed Patronus forced the dementor out of the compartment and out into the hallway, where a number of Aurors were also directing Patronus shields at it, thus forcing it off of the train.

Remus turned around, Harry had stopped screaming. The boy was lying on the floor unconscious in a somewhat awkward position. Feeling dread coming over him, Remus quickly knelt down and ran a few spells to check Harry’s condition.

“Is he going to be alright?” Hermione asked.

Remus nodded to her with a relieved sigh. Then he carefully picked up the boy and laid him across the cushioned seats while he instructed Draco to go back to his original seat.

~~~

The four of them were solemn, as was the rest of the train. The distinct chatters of the students had quieted down to whispers and murmurs, as if speaking normally would jinx them and bring back the dementors.

When they arrived at the castle, Remus told the three to not say anything about Harry and to board the carriages as cautiously as they could.

“…I’ll apparate directly to the Hogwarts entrance and then take him to the hospital wing, hopefully before the students see him. I don’t want to cause a scene.” Remus finished and then quietly ushered them out of the compartment.

Then with a pop, Remus disappeared with his charge.

Why my brain hates me and why fandom hates me too

Fri, 14 Jan 2005 06:58:32 GMT

1) I had finished the Twin... about 1/4th of it in one shot, I was tweaking it and going over it. When the rainstorm in San Diego (where I am now) decided to kill the power in the building. I lost that 1/4th of it.... I'm really quite depressed now... Of course I'm going to go back and rewrite it. But I think I need to recover from the trauma of losing so much in one sitting...*sigh*

2)Whenever I tell someone I'm taking 3 math classes, they goggle at me at if I have 5 heads.... I don't really know how to explain to people that computer science classes are much harder than math classes because i wish I got that kind of reaction when I told people I had more than one computer programming class.

oi...Adv. Discrete Math has yet to get harder.... ~_~ *hit* *head* *on* *keyboard*

I really should complain to the department... why can't we just leave the discrete math to the cryptography majors? This stuff makes my head hurt, plus I thought I had completely put proofs behind me when I finished geometry... I didn't realize that it'd come back and bite me in the ass. The bastard.

HOLY S(@&!

Fri, 12 Nov 2004 06:03:10 GMT

I was going over some of my old fics and I guess I was just curious as to how long they were since I do have tendency to write really really long fics. So I decided to take a peek at 'the Twin'. Up until the 2nd Year of the fic and I already have 50,119 words! HOLY MOLY! I didn't think it was 'that' long! I mean, it only took me less than 2 weeks to write! You know, if I have time this June, I might do NanoWriMo... or I might do NanoMango. Or I could both (~_~ and fail my physics summer class).

*sigh* I would love to do a fancomic.

And then~ I was going over Jump , (A Smallville fanfic and one of my longest fanfics that I'm satisfied with) => 70 thousand words...and I know for a fact that that it took me a week to write because I used my vacation week after spring quarter was over and before summer school started to write that fic.

Of course, I can write lots of garbage that would be completely trashed by betas (cringe... yes, yes, I know I should beta my work... it's just that I ususally don't like to until I'm done with the fic and ususally when I'm done with it, my RL work begins to pick up and I don't really have time to go over it with a beta. Since I've never been betaed before I just think it'll be really time consuming. This is assuming that grammar betas aren't allowed to just have free reign over your fic and just change whatever. I'm really not that overprotective of my work, I mean I actually would not care that much if I just gave a beta a carte blanche and said: just make it make sense!

I really don't like to see a bunch of red lines all over the paper and then I have to go back and change it myself... I'm not kidding when I say that my programming assignment take up at least 40 hours a week. ~_~ this is what I get for majoring in a subject that I'm totally crap at. ***note: going completely off tangent now: ( in my very retarded brain, I have somehow reasoned that I'm not getting my money's worth in college if I'm not beaten to death with unknown knowledge). Because really, drawing is something that I do naturally and it's not really painful... but throughout my life I've been trained to think that majoring in art or english is bad and it won't make money. And it's not respectable and all the other Chinese mothers that my mom is friends is will mock me... This is not a diss to anyone to draws or writes for a living... Well... let me explain:

... I admit that I am a bit revenge oriented because the people who picked on me from elementary school till high school, all ~~cheated into~~ went off to pretty good schools and stuff... and I guess in my way, having a starting pay of 70k a year would be a wonderful thing to rub in their face... I know, I'm sooo petty!
>_< And yes, like Snape, I can hold a grudge for yeeeeeaaaarrrsss. One does not exactly get over the trauma of having lemon drops spit into her hair and face right before she has to go out on stage to get her honors student award.

Then in my senior year, we had a terrible art teacher that I could barely resist choking to death and I guess in a way, he sort of turned away my desire to become an art major (not art, I still love to draw). I guess I sort of had a prejudice that all art teachers would be like him. Even though he really was terrible at art and all he could do was plagarize other people's work. And perhaps the straw that broke the camel's back was that for the freshman handbook the next year, he used one of my drawing and he managed to photoshop my signature out of the drawing. I was very very close to blowing a gasket, but I guess I was just so tired and frustrated... so the next day I turned down my acceptance letter to UCLA and went to UCSD as a Computer Science major.

And ...well, here I am. programming until my eyeballs fall out... *groans*. Although I don't know if I like the stuff I'm learning at the moment, I mean... it's really complex and I think the only relevance it has are only on people who are going to work in computer security or become a future hacker.

Anyways, the only upsides to this major is that I think I'll have a better chance of getting hired by graphic art companies and video game companies since I can both program and draw (better to get one foot in the door than none at all, right?).

How Kerry could have singlehandedly won the elections:

Wed, 03 Nov 2004 16:47:49 GMT

He should have gotten the support of JKRowling.

And he should have gotten Rowling on National televsion and she should have told the kids in America to start screaming nonstop if their parents planned on voting for Bush and to only stop once their parents changed their minds.

Then she should have said, if Bush got elected again, she would withhold book 6 from the U.S. and only release it everywhere else.

I'm quite sure he would have won this way.

~~~

On other thoughts... erm... I didn't elect bush (no, in my mind he isn't even a person. Therefore I will not capitalize his name and I will assume he has the intelligence of a bush). and California is a big state with mountains, lakes, the ocean, deserts, lots of farmland. I think the west coast states would make a wonderful county by itself.

first we have to get Arnold to pack his bags and send him off to some confederate state.
second, we make his wife governor.
third, we find a new president of the west coast states (maybe Howard Dean?)
fourth, we go properly punish Bill Gates this time and use his money to help our new coast state country.
fifth, we make a huge wall across the border of california, oregon and washington because we want nothing to do with these other... ick... things... they're not really states of people, they're just penned up groups of zombies.

sigh

Wed, 03 Nov 2004 06:43:47 GMT

I know we can't really know until Thursday... but I'd just like to say

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck you American hicks! (and shut the fuck up because I can be just as racist as you and I reserve the right to call you fucking middle states every fucking racial slur you deserve you fucking retards that have incestuous sex with your mothers. I hope you all get overweight from McDonalds and die from cancer or any other genetic disease that slowly destroys your body because you think stem cell research is bad. I hope all of your kids become gays and lesbians and hate you for the rest of your life so that you end up living in a trailer park living off of processed pig meat. But oh wait! My bad, you already live like that!)

This just goes to show that the U.S. is heavily populated by retards. But you know what this means? I will enjoy spitting on you even more when I start with my 60k job and the rest of you become the future bag boys/girls and garbage men/women of America and have to live in carboard boxes!

And if you don't like what I just said. Fucking deal with it. I'm sick of being meek.

How ironic

Sun, 31 Oct 2004 19:57:21 GMT

I'm ranting on my fandom journal because the person I'm pissed at reads my RL journal. But the point of my RL journal was to keep RL and fandom separate. But I need to get this off of my chest before I scream.

I'm living in the same suite with this girl. Last year she seemed really like and I was really good friends with her and everything was fine. How wrong I was. I didn't realize that she was such a moodly little overdramatic bitch. And she just completely pisses me off because she makes such a huge scene over such little miniscule things. Moreover, she puts herself in the same cycle and whines about it. For example, her family doesn't have that much money, so she complains about it a lot. She has a job at the school, but she's a compulsive spender. I buy books online because they're much cheaper, but she's too lazy to even research the cheaper new books online and buys the ones at school, which are like over $100 and then for the next week she whines and whines and whines and I just want to throw something at her damn head to cease her whining! ARG!!!

And one thing I didn't realize last year is that she's subconciously racist and she'll say things that are just so insensitive and cruel. And what the hell am I supposed to say to her comments. I won't make fun of my own people, you know? And then she gets all prissy about it because I refuse to continue the conversation!

Then there's the problem with favors. If I can't do her a favor, like walk with her to her car so she can drive it closer to the apartments because I have a fucking MIDTERM the next fucking day! It's not my fault, in fact, it's not my problem. She had me ask everyone else if they can go, they can't, because this is midterms week and everyone is busy! So she blames the entire fucking thing on me! And she slams the doors in the apartment and just acts like the little 2 year old brat that she is.

I don't even ask her for favors now because I know that if I ask her, then she'll use it against me. and go "But Vi, I did this for you! nyah nyah nyah..."
She hasn't fufilled a single favor I've asked of her before! I don't see why I have to keep doing things for her. Like the other day she got all mad at me because I didn't want to go on a 3 hour ride with her back home so she could pick up her fucking absentee vote that was already too late to turn in! I have MIDTERMS! Do you understand?! Not everyone is in a fucking easy major like you are. Some of us have to do 40 hours of programming a week and take mutiple quizzes and midterms!

And yesterday, I thought it would be fun if we watched Nightmare before Christmas and we made popcorn and everything. She could have at least had the courtesty to watch fifteen minutes of the movie. But no, in like less than five minutes she goes up stairs saying that she's going to sleep and then I find out later that she was actually awake the whole time and talking to her friends online. Gee thanks, I just love watching movies alone you know?

*cries* I suck at making friends... I wish I was better at choosing people I can get along with. My friend-radar is like... broken or messed up.

poke

Sat, 09 Oct 2004 21:02:56 GMT

After reading my last lj post, I realized that being in a semi-concious state results in nearly incoherent writing. Well, there goes that idea for writing while I'm high or drunk on something.

I haven't posted anything in a loooong while. And I must apologize for that. I haven't disappeared per say. I'm sort of in my research mode at the moment. For those of you who are reading "The Twin" on Fanfiction.net. No I haven't lost interest in the story at all. In fact, I'm in the middle of going over "Prisoner of Azkaban" and trying to write down notes as to how I'm going to diverge the story. *sigh* it keeps getting harder because you have to keep in mind that some things already happened whereas other things haven't.

Oh and also an explaination on why I could write the 1st 2 years so quickly: is because I knew the first two books far better than the 3rd, 4th, and 5th. Not to mention, they were far less complex and easier to adjust. The third year is taking me a bit longer than I had hoped.

Moreover, I'm reading more and more discussions and things that say how much fans hate WIP. So what I'm trying to do is finish all of year 3 and then post it up.

*On a side note, I am also in the middle of writing another story, which is probably why progress is very slow.

But in the meantime. I'm going to post up a bit of my other story that I've been working on, just to test the waters (so to speak). So far, I intend for it to be a two part story. The first part is Gen with only Harry as a main character. The second part will(?) involve HP/SS.

By the way, I'm terrible at creating titles. Therefore, so far, this is going to be 'untitled' But I'd appreciate a suggestion or two.

Title: Untitled
Rating: G-pg13 (sequel is going to have nc17 parts, so if you don't like that kind of stuff... you can close your eyes when you get to it? ^_~)
Pairing: Gen for now, HP/SS later
Summary: EXTREMELY AU story. Harry unthinkingly uses a time-turner in desperation after Sirius's death and manages to drag Ron along with him. Unfortunately, the faulty time-turner has thrown them 200 years into the future, where Earth is no longer inhabitable and wizards no longer exist.
warning: violence, implied rape, character death, (I'll think of more as I go)
Disclaimers: the usual -> don't own the characters or anything. Writing for fun. I'm okay with people taking ideas, but please please please don't copy the story... err, not that it's good enough to be copied... right. Anyways. just have fun reading.

A/N: please excuse the terrible missing or mixed up words. I tend to type too fast and the keys on my laptop are placed in different locations from my ususal comptuer. Oh and tenses... yeah, I so need to work on that.

~~~

The sky is red, intertwined with grayish black smoke. Splotches of darker mauve stain the red planet’s sky, creating an infinite vision of blood. Tiny flickers of orange and yellow flames dance, scattering across the dusty land. The smell of smoke and cooked flesh permeated the air… leaving a nauseating linger of death

In the distance, a dirty white tent breaks the endless scarlet vision.

He moves closer, slowly at first and then breaking into a run, leaving a trail of red dust at the heels of his military issued boots.

There are black blurs, people moving in and out of the tent, always moving in twos with a stretcher between them, carting bloody people into the tent. They always bring someone or pieces of someone back.

He’s close enough now. A hand touches the flap of the white tent, his hand, stained with red dirt or perhaps blood, it doesn’t matter, something more important is waiting. He can feel it. It’s urgent, desperate, and it makes his stomach is tie up in knots.

He comes upon a disheveled young lady, a nurse, who is trying her best to clean up the wounded or perhaps the dead. She can’t tell until she checks, her hands are stained red from checking pulses on blood covered bodies. There’s no point in cleaning up the dead when the living can be saved.

He says something, and she replies, pointing vaguely to the back. He can’t tell what she’s saying and yet he knows what she just said. In his mind he knows the back of the tent is bad, a part of him is begging for him not to go there, but he can’t stop.

He finally reaches his destination and looks down on a particular lump of bloodstained sheets. The face is covered because… this person is dead. He pulls back the blood soaked linen and looks down at orangish singed hair, the face burnt beyond recognition, flesh melted, teeth grotesquely gaping out because its…his lips have been burned away.

He doesn’t dare touch the boy who used to be his best friend, in his mind this isn’t him. This person who died screaming in flames, dead from shock and being burned alive, smelling himself being cooked to death.

He can’t touch, so all he can do is scream.

~~~

Harry woke up with a start, gasping and shaking. But once he recognizes the steel walls and the dark blue sheets lying on the floor, kicked off in his sleep, he regains his composure and then just sits there, staring at nothing.

If only it was a nightmare, a figment of his imagination, conjured due to years in his line of work. But it isn’t, it’s a memory, a devastating one that had nearly hospitalized him permanently. Instinctively, his eyes roam over to the glass box on the shelf in the room; it contains the hologram ID tags Ron wore. He doesn’t cry anymore. He did before, but he ran out of tears and other things… like: his morals, his past, his humanity.

He decides that he isn’t going to go back to sleep after an episode like that, the nightmares will only worsen. Instead, he lifts his rough, scarred, and weapon calloused hand to the metal attached to his face and turns on the machine that has replaced his left eye.

After that, he reaches over to the shelf at the head of his bed, picks up the robotic arm, and attaches it to the amputated stub that used to be his left shoulder.

However, despite his severe physical wounds, his mental ones are far worse.

~~~

The bridge of the ship is quiet because Zet, his previous partner retired a few months earlier after paying off his debts. Harry’s bounty hunting partners done stay with him for long; he’s too intense and perhaps too vindictive. Bounty hunting isn’t very good for him, at least not mentally. But then being an assassin to the syndicate wasn’t much better.

He’s doesn’t have the skills to do anything else.

So he just kills and kills, until he gets killed.

A part of him almost wishes his bounties were just a tad bit faster at drawing a gun, a bit more skilled, a bit more accurate at shooting, or a bit more desperate. But they never are because he’s too good; his training has made him subconsciously dodge away from harm. He had been trained by the Young clan, a Chinese crime syndicate on Ganymede that had quite a number of enemies and needed assassins. Harry and four others that had been chosen out of hundreds and were trained specifically for that task. The others had been chosen because they were proficient at shooting, sword fighting, espionage, and various other things. He had been chosen because he was anonymous, he had no family, and he didn’t seem to have any qualms killing people.

Any mission the others couldn’t fulfill, he did.

~~~
(14 years ago)

“Sorry, but she looked like a little kid.” Firestorm said, embarrassed, as he walked to the other three.

“It’s not a problem.” Harry, code named: Blizzard, replied monotonously as he wiped the blood off of his face. Their target had an aging problem, so even at forty-three, she still looked like a four year old. Firestorm’s favorite cousin just happened to be around that age, so it was understandable that he couldn’t pull the trigger.

The other three were Tsunami, a girl of Asian descent, Boss Young’s niece. She was valuable because she had near perfect aim with any shooting weapon. Quicksand was Hispanic with long curled black hair and the most attractive of the three females, she usually used her charms to seduce information out of people. She was also proficient with throwing short knives. And then there was Twister, who had golden blond hair. She was the tech amongst the group. Her job was to hack into systems to gather information. But she was also arrogant and stubborn. Harry did not get along with her at all. She had certain set ideologies and she was constantly trying to criticize everyone, but Harry the most. Perhaps because she believed that he wasn’t affected by her annoying verbal lashings. She had no idea how close he was to maiming or killing her half the time.

During this time, Harry wanted to associate as less as he could with his past self that buried his best friend and had been locked up in a mental ward for over a year. So, he grew out his hair longer and used a special chemical that changed it to an almost bluish white without needing to be re-bleached. The numbing drugs he took, also known as X18, had a side effect of changing his irises to a frightening inhuman light blue color. Moreover, with a heart of ice, the name Blizzard was more than appropriate.

“Yes Boss, we got her.” Twister said into the communicator. After a few more nods and ‘affirmative’s, she closed the communicator and indicated that it was time for them to return.

~~~

He only doses himself with a few milligrams of X18 a day now, but when he used to work for the syndicate, he used to inject himself with an entire vial full. It was a special drug he had obtained during his stay at the mental ward, after the war. He had nearly gone insane after Ron’s grotesque death. For nearly four month, he was put into solitary confinement while he screamed at the top of his lungs that it was his fault and how sorry he was. By the fifth month, they had started to feed him the experimental drug that numbed his emotions and blocked his memories.

When he finally got out of the hospital, a year later, he still needed a little bit of X18, but at least he could socially interact with others once more. He worked as a security guard for a bit, given his history as a soldier. During this time, the syndicate had seen potential in him. A few months later he took up the assassin job and he began to nearly dole X18 out every day, just so he could stay sane. And so he wouldn’t wake up screaming every night from seeing the faces of the people he had murdered.

He wasn’t sure why he stayed. At first it was because he didn’t want to live at the mental ward’s sponsored shelter. Then as he had gotten deeper, he found that he couldn’t leave, not because the syndicate wouldn’t let him. But because he had killed enough people that his life would be in danger until he killed off the rest of them. In addition, X18 was very costly, even on the black market, and his job of killing people paid very well.

The first few years weren’t too bad.

But around his fifth year of doing this, he was beginning to grow weary. He usually picked up some of the dirtier mission. The ones where he needed to seduce certain people, as disgusting as they were. Quicksand usually took care of the seducing, however there were a few that had an inclination towards men.

~~~

He shifted, slightly uncomfortable in his restraining pleather outfit. Leather was rare and extremely expensive in space, so he had to wear these horrid, confining clothes that threatened to squeeze the air out of his body. He was desperately going over everything Quicksand had told him about seducing men. But it was still difficult, he hadn’t…. done this before. He really didn’t want to tell Quicksand that when she was training him, it was just a mission, he could deal.

To make things worse, he was sitting on the lap of an unctuous pig dressed in a suit that was threatening to burst open. The hideous man gave Harry a leer as Harry squirmed in his lap. Harry mentally cursed as the man groped him with his grubby, thick, sweaty fingers.

Why couldn’t Firestorm take up missions like these? Weak, sniveling, bastard. And why the fuck did this ‘thing’ have to like males anyways?

The other men in the room also openly leered at their leader’s ‘pet’ for the night. One of them was even visibly rubbing his pen along his bulging crotch.

The fat man, Benton, laughed at a lewd joke one of the men made, making the lap Harry was sitting on shake like an earthquake.

So far, Harry had gathered only a tiny bit of information, but he knew that the real stuff he needed was in the suitcases of each of the men.

He silently gathered himself. He needed to focus on the mission. And try not worry about…

“Why don’t you perform for us pretty?” Benton finally said as he began to push Harry off of his lap and tried to push him onto the table. And for once, in many years (perhaps even a decade) Harry shivered in terror.

Seeing as how none of the men were leaving the room, Harry knew his fate for tonight.

~~~

He heard something over the thundering sounds of water hitting the tiles in the shower. It was a familiar whoosh of doors opening.

He usually was paranoid about people entering his rooms. But right now, he found that he didn’t care. Frankly, he didn’t care about anything. He blankly stared down at red blood coming from his torn insides diluting into pink as it ran down the drain. The flowering hand shaped bruises all over his thighs were particularly fascination in a morbid sort of way. He wondered if he could cancel them out if he scrubbed his body raw.

That was certainly an idea. In fact, it sounded like a great idea, perhaps he’d even manage to peel off most of his skin…Even better.

But that wouldn’t get rid of the cigar burns or the cuts along his inner thighs.

He was about to continue contemplating how he would mutilate himself, when he suddenly heard the whoosh of the bathroom door opening. He tensed, he must have forgotten to lock it.

Harry glanced at the shadow of the person through the warbled glass, the numerous bangles on the right arm told Harry that it was Quicksand. Harry stopped feeling the boiling hot water hit him as she turned off the shower from outside. She then, as un-startlingly as possible opened the shower door and saw Harry with bruises, cuts, burns, fresh blood pooling around himself.

She gave a heart broken whisper, “Oh Bliz.”

Her words sounded distant in his mind, like an echo. He didn’t even feel sad. Well, that could be because he has just injected two vials of X18 into himself when he had gotten back.

Quicksand took off her sandals, leaving them outside of the shower stall and walking into the shower barefoot. She quietly knelt down next to him, not caring whether his blood was staining her pretty blue dress a dark plum color.

She was about to put a comforting hand on his back, when he unconsciously gave a deadly whisper, “Don’t touch me.”

Quicksand withdrew her hand, respecting his wish. She knew how he felt. She had also done the same thing after a few particularly unsavory seduction sessions. However she had never been taken by multiple…

She quietly gave a pitying sigh before asking soothingly, “Do you need anything?”

Harry shook his head. Quicksand was about to give him some salves when they heard Twister’s voice coming from Harry’s room, “Where are the files Bliz?”

“Suitcase.” Harry muttered, but it wasn’t loud enough for Twister to hear, so Quicksand repeated it for him.

Moments later Twister gave a loud curse as she stormed into the bathroom, holding up blood covered papers, “What the fuck is this?! I can’t read this!”

“That’s not my problem, I got you the papers.”

“Why is there so much fucking blood on here?!”

Quicksand scowled, “Would you back off?! He went through a lot just to get those damn papers.”

Feeling overly exposed, Harry jerkily stood up, grabbed the pair of black trousers hanging over the edge of the sink and put them on, despite the fact that he was still wet and bleeding. If the blonde bitch had noticed his state of injury, she didn’t act like she noticed it. In fact, she almost seemed to expect that Harry would just ‘take care’ of the damn missions.

Twister pushed past Harry and obnoxiously waved the reddish brown bloody papers at him, “What the fuck am I supposed to do with this?!

Harry started at her stonily and then menacingly replied, “You can take those papers and shove them where the sun doesn’t shine for all I care.”

“Look you little whore!” Twister shouted, “I need these papers to get the pass codes. If you can’t do your job correctly! Then tell the Boss!”

“And he’ll what? Send you?” Harry sneered, “Yeah, I’d love you watch you scream at they gang raped you and burned their cigarettes on your body, bitch.”

Comprehending what Harry had said, Twister tossed the damp blood soaked papers at him, “That’s disgusting! You’re telling me that that blood is from… You could have clean up before you got the damn papers!”

Harry snorted as he allowed for the papers to fall wetly on the ground, leaving pinkish stains on the tile floor, “I’m sorry if it violates your squeamish sensibilities. Perhaps you should tell that to Boss Young. I’m sure he’d love to hear about how we couldn’t finish the fucking mission because you’re afraid of a little fucking blood!”

Then Harry’s scowled curled into a darker sneer, “Besides, it’s not my blood.”

Twister was silent for a moment, until she finally comprehended what he just said.

“You killed them?!” Twister screamed, “You’re not supposed to…”

Neither Quicksand nor Twister had anticipated that Harry would keep a gun in the cabinet behind the mirror. So Twister reacted especially poorly when she realized that it was pointing at her face.

Instead of composing herself and leaving like she usually did, this time she continued her tirade, “…kill those people! You completely fucked up the mission! You weren’t supposed to…”

Quicksand noticed the twitch in Harry’s wrist and quickly moved to stop her colleague, “Calm down Twister. It doesn’t matter, they weren’t vital to…”

Twister shoved her out of the way and moved closer to Harry. She was going to say something, but Harry replied in a quiet and perhaps not so sane voice, "I currently don't have any problem with killing you 'right now', don't try my patience."

Twister, who was easily provoked, screamed as she physically moved to strangle Harry, but before she could, the gun came into view and she saw him pull the trigger.

Too many things happened at once, Harry shot the gun as Quicksand moved to push it out of his hand, but she was too late. Luckily he wasn’t aiming to kill.

Twister was now across the room, screaming at she clutched her missing right ear. Deprived of his gun, Harry decided to do the next best thing, he stalked over to Twister, grabbed her by the hair, dragged her out of his apartment, and threw her into the hallway. Then he went back in to grab the papers and the suitcase and tossed them at her, scattering bloody red pages all over the hall, before slamming the door in her face.

When he turned around he saw that Quicksand was still in his room. He gave a menacing hiss, “Get out.”

Realizing that Harry’s temper could only lead to someone getting killed, Quicksand nodded and quickly took the medicine salves out of her bag, placing them on the small table next to Harry’s bed.

“They each have labels with instructions.” She said quickly before soundlessly slipping out of his apartment.

The last thing Harry heard was the muffled sound of Twister’s pathetic simpering about her ear before he heard the buzz of the elevator closing.

~~~

After that, Harry took a week hiatus before getting back to work. The syndicate wasn’t stupid; they knew Harry wasn’t exactly sane. After that mission, they made sure to never put Twister or Harry in the same place at once without accompanying team members. However, while the mission Harry had experienced was especially bad, that still didn’t stop them from sending either Harry or Quicksand on them.

After a while, sex had lost all meaning for Harry. He felt like an experienced whore, he didn’t even feel pleasure anymore. But it didn’t really matter, it wasn't really sex anymore, it was just... a tool . In Harry’s mind, the faster he got them off, the faster he could get the information and leave.

However, as subconciously degraded as he felt from these missions, nothing compared to that horrific first time. It marked his downward spiral. He became more reckless and killed people unnecessarily, even people that the syndicate had not ordered to kill. He was taking about two to three vials of X18. He knew that one of the major side effects of the drug was that it changed a person’s brain chemistry. He didn’t care.

His reasoning had gained a mad edge. He stopped caring whether his actions put the team in danger.

He was called in more than once by the syndicate to ‘discuss’ his attitude.

They had tried to get him a psychiatrist. He had left her with a nasty black eye when he left her office after the first session.

He started to get more solo missions.

And every night, he’d drown himself with a vial of X18, a random cocktail of drugs and alcohol.

The syndicate started to discuss letting him go after he had been hospitalized for drug and alcohol overdose three times.

They were going to pay him handsomely and ask him to leave before his condition got worse. They knew he was wearing down and that he’d put himself and his teammates in more danger over time.

However, in the end, they found themselves paying for his funeral instead.

~~~

“See anything?” Tsunami asked Harry over the headsets they were wearing. They were positioned on opposite sides of the warehouse. This mission involved trapping other hired assassins. These ones were good, famous even, two of the four Horsemen. They were a fortune to get a hold of though, they were assigned to kill the Young clan’s elite assassins this time. Harry and Tsunami were going to take on War and Strife, while the other three took on Famine and Disease.

War was a bulky sort of man, didn’t move as fast, which was perfect for a sharpshooter like Tsunami. Harry, on the other hand was supposed to take care of Strife. Unfortunately, Strife was a bit too much like Harry. Harry found him a bit dramatic though, he wore a long black trench coat that touched his ankles. He had long black hair and a thin gaunt (nearly white) face and a sharp hooked nose.

Harry felt a strange tickle in his memory, someone from his past looked… similar. He couldn’t quite put a finger on it.

Harry studied the man. He had two crows circling around him, probably trained to help their master. His weapon of choice wasn’t immediately noticeable, but once Harry concentrated harder, he noticed the tiny multicolored vials along his belt and a few ping pong sized black balls. This guy liked using explosives. Seeing as how Harry wasn’t even wearing bulletproof clothes, this was going to prove to be very difficult.

Harry tapped the blue button, connected to the head set, sending a light beep, indicating ‘yes’.

Seconds later War went down with a bullet between his eyes. Harry raised a brow, ‘that’ was fast.

Now for Strife.

But in that moment Harry wasn’t paying attention, Strife has caught sight of him and tossed a nearly invisible tiny vial towards the platform he was crouching on.

The enormous explosion that resulted from the vial knocked the wind out of Harry, as it tossed him against the wall closest to him. Luckily, he was able to gain his composure in time and caught hold of what remained of the platform he had been standing on, before he could plunge two stories down.

Harry heard a loud curse come from Tsunami through the headset as she asked him if he was okay, he gave her another affirmative beep. He was about to climb up, when he saw that Strife had managed to get up onto the platform.

‘Shit he’s fast!’ Harry though, slightly panicked. He quickly looked at the unsteady metal bar that had shaken loose from the explosion that was right across from him, he quickly swung over and climbed up the bar before Strife could get to him. But Strife was very alert and just as Harry got onto the other side of the platform, he saw that two more vials had land right behind him.

He quickly dodged around to the other side of some concrete poles. Tsunami was behind the other pole parallel to him. They both panted heavily.

Harry quickly pulled both of his guns out, and undid the safety. He tried his best to shoot at Strife, long distance, but it was difficult. And Tsunami couldn’t get him either seeing as how the dust from the rubble created from the last explosion was throwing off her aim.

“We have to get out of the warehouse. Try to get him near the docks, all this confined space makes it easier to hit us.”

Harry nodded in affirmation before he pointed at the open windows at the end of the building. Tsunami nodded two and then at the same time, they began to run for the windows, Harry covering her as he aimlessly shot at anything that looked like a giant bat.

Once they got out of the warehouse, Tsunami quickly reloaded her gun.

“I wish I was more useful,” she muttered. She wasn’t particularly swift when it came to fighting, her skills lay in her ability to hit distant unaware targets, not ones that moved as fast as Strife.

Harry then realized that she could easily get killed if he was careless and didn’t watch her back.

Harry quickly put a hand on Tsunami’s shoulder, pretending to comfort her, he then leaned in and whispered, “I’m sorry,” before hastily knocking her out.

He had spied a speedboat outside earlier, tied to the dock. He dashed over to the left side of the warehouse and found it. He quickly placed Tsunami’s unconscious body in the boat and set it on autopilot for 20 miles. They’d find her and she’d be safe…

Harry started the boat and jumped out as it started to speed away. Once he was sure she was out far enough, he turned around to go face Strife. Unfortunately, the man was much faster than he thought.

Strife tsked in mocking way, “How touching.”

Harry stared at the dark haired man blankly and then smiled.

The thought that he was going to finally die seemed to soothe him. Moreover, he was going to drag Strife to the depths of hell with him.

Cont...

Author's note: Yeah, it's a bit rushed... I really still need to work on my writing style. But it's just a small draft. And yes, I know that Harry is very out of character, but later parts will slowly explain things more clearly.
~~~

on a side note from RL: Does anyone know any nifty SPARC assembly language links? My textbook sucks and it doesn't teach you how to use global registers. And I'm trying to freakin' figure out where my variables end up when I stick them in.

critique of Smallville fanfictions being put out at the moment

Mon, 03 May 2004 06:11:05 GMT

I haven't really been reading as much Smallville fanfiction as I have before because... right now it seems like there isn't very much good fanfiction. That and the Harry Potter fandom has completely spoiled me and I'm expecting elaborate epics like sushi's Civil War series and the Beast or The Tea Series or Dark Chocolate or Intertexitus (sorry, I know I spelled that wrong) , etc.

And the problem with reading such good stories is that after a while, you start getting used to how seamlessly they weave the story together and how the words themselves become art pieces. And I mean, they've practically made me believe that you don't need a thousand words to paint a rich mental picture of what's going on. I mean, each one of them is just gorgeous.

Anyways, back to Smallville. I've notice people, as always have only been writing vingettes, which I don't mind, but I don't really enjoy reading because the post-episode discussion as so thorough that there's really no point in writing them... But that's just my opinion.

Moreover, I hate, absolutely hate with a passion, stories where Clark is a big flaming gay alien who is going to have a bunch of babies or lex who is a frilly billionaire over-emotional ... person who is carrying Clark's babies. The only baby story that I've ever been able to stand and enjoy was written by Henry Jones Jr. If anyone wants to know how to write a decent mpreg story, read her stuff first. And while you're at it, read all of her stuff. They're all really good.

Okay, another thing that really bothers me is the constant recycling of 'bonding' and ... I donno, 'whatever colored' kryptonite making Clark pregnant, or overly sexy, etc. I mean can't someone do something fun for once that doesn't involve any Kryptonite.

I mean, come on, Smallville is already really badly written and the purpose of fanfiction is make up for their ... problems. And yes, I even had a problem with Memoria. That whole "My dad doesn't love me" thing. *snorts and rolls eyes* Being a child that has been neglected by her father for the last seven years just utterly makes me disgusted with Lex's words. Look, if a child has been neglected that long. They don't give a shit whether their dad loves them because they subconciously teat their parent like a stranger, which is why Lex's flinching from his father was accurate. But his desire for love from him was... completely out of character. Not matter how much that child looked up to their father, just remember 6 very important words, "Out of sigh, out of mind."

If I enough time, I could tear apart the Smallville script line by line. And I won't be as kind as Omar either.

~~~
Now, enough of my ranting... I have a head full of plot bunnies and I'm sick of them sitting there because they're blocking my Harry Potter creativity.

1. (example of using Red Kryptonite in a fun way) -> according to cannon, Red K causes mutations that last for 24 hours. One can make up many scenarioes: Clark turns into an *insert animal here* and becomes Lex's pet for a day, but he enjoys being Lex's pet so much that he tries to keep this up for a longer period of time.

Or

The Red K makes Clark schizophrenic (which can be very funny or scary)

etc.

2. An experiment in Cadmus Labs goes wrong and Kon el gets thrown back in time. (In canon, Kon-el is the leather jacket wearing Superboy who is a successful and good clone of Superman)

3. Aliens that feed off of the Red Sun come to Earth, block out the Red Sun, and try to take it over. A war ensues... And although Clark no longer has any powers, he still wants to help, so he enlists in the miliary. Luthor, through a scalding article by Lois, is also forced to enlist. Somehow Clark and Lex end up in the same unit. At first they hate each other with a passion, but as things get bad, they start taking care of each other and finding comfort in each other. However, one day Clark doesn't come back from a mission... the news hurts Lex far more than he expected.

4. Pure Smut, semi-PWP. Canon!Lex finds out that Superman's DNA has healing properties and tries to seduce him so that he can regrow his missing hand. Lex also creates a refined Kryptonite ring that only weaken Superman but takes away any harmful radiation. Should go from non-con to ambiguous con. (I'm thinking... First encounter, the Planet's copy room, (2) restaurant bathroom, (3) Lex's office.... etc. )

5. Lillian didn't end up killing Julian. But Lionel's plans of Lex and Julian fighting over his empire don't work out. In the end Julian majors in Business and intents to take over Luthorcorp. Lex, who was majoring as BioChem, changed to Pre-Med and ended up becoming a doctor. After a while, he completely lost interest in taking over Luthorcorp, so neither of them are trying staging out Lionel's grandiose conflict. But one day Clark Kent, ace reporter, has to do two interviews. One about the new medical policy at the Met Hospital and the other about Luthorcorp's takeover of Hardwick enterprises. Both brothers fall in love and from there on, their pacifist relationship falls apart over Clark Kent.

6. On a whim, Clark applies to a few good schools in California and he manages to get in to a very good one on a full scholarship. After much debate, his parents think it'll be a good idea finacially and for Clark's experiences to go to college that isn't in Kansas. Lex is saddened by the news. One school year passes and Clark comes back over the summer with a fresh outlook and new experiences. But a lot of things have changed. Pete is a lot more serious after studying a year of Law, Chloe is in jail for tresspassing, Lana moved to Metropolis because Aunt Nell was diagnosed with cancer. And Lex got remarried. But not only that, Lex is dying. (Clark later finds out that Lex's sacchrine sweet wife is slowly poisoning him to death.)

7. Lex writes in Clark's yearbook at the end of his third year telling (implying to) him to grow up. Lex leaves the country to do business for the rest of the summer. Upon reading Lex's quote, Clark is furious. But as the long summer weeks pass by, Clark reflects and realizes that he has been a child and it was time he stopped blaming everyone else for his own problems and mistakes.

8. Mr. Mxyzptlk holds Canon!Superman and Canon!Lex hostage because he's bored and decides to mess with their timelines. What if the Smallville universe was created because Mr. Mxyzptlk just wanted to have fun?

9. Trying to escape his illness and unable to stand Lex anymore, Lionel creates a clone of Lex and puts his brain into the Lex clone. He then finds a way to kidnap and detain Lex and then takes over Luthorcorp and Lexcorp.

10. Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind idea crossover. Lionel is vindictive and bitter that Lex put him away in jail. So one day he manages to hire a man to kidnap Lex and have any memory of Clark Kent wiped out. Clark, who was living happily with Lex, finds out what happened (let's just say he doesn't know how to do the 'remembering kiss') and is devastated. After moping around for a month, Batman gets sick of Clark's attitude and drags him to the Fortress of solitude to have the AI wipe out his memories of Lex.... But sometimes two people are meant to be together and Clark and Lex find and fall in love with each other all over again. But the blocked memories don't stay wiped out forever...

~~~~
whoo... that's all for now.. I'm tired.

oh oh oh!!!

Fri, 30 Apr 2004 23:08:55 GMT

me whimpers

http://s1.amazon.com/exec/varzea/ts/exchange-glance/Y01Y4676485Y0450944/002-4021606-8195253

bored drabbles

Fri, 30 Apr 2004 22:35:21 GMT

------
drabbles

Night and the Shore and the Wind

Snape POV

(age 13)

My grandparents, on my mother's side, have a summer house by the sea. And for all my life, this was the only place I ever found peace. Father refused to come with us on these visits, an utterly disgusting reminder that he had been lied to and had actually married a half-breed. Mother's family was rich though, which was perhaps why he didn't get a divorce once he found out the truth. Although Father was a pure-blood, he wasn't as wealthy as the Malfoys, which irked him to no end.

The summer house was a rotund shape with a sharp cone-like roof. The bottom of the house was covered in old creaky windows with flakes of white paint falling off over the year. These windows opened out towards the horizon and the sea. Sometimes during the evening, the warm orangish pink skies laced with shades of violet would filter into the house and paint it's plain white walls with its own reflection. The house, although musty and old, was ordinary and warm with its eccentric furniture and dishes that didn't match. with the earth toned wall hanging in the living room and the mismatched rugs along the floor that kept your feet from getting cold.

But the best part of the old creaking, flaking house were the long stairs going down the back and towards the beach. It was like the stairways down to a new world, for there was something beyond that horizon, a promise of hope and endless possibility. A time and place where I could still dream.

The beach was somewhat seculded, for I never recalled ever seeing anyone come along the shore during his stay. But that's what made it even more appealing. There was no one here to disturb me, no one here to watch and to hit me on the head when I wasn't acting like a Snape.

...

One night, there was a very bright full moon out, I snuck out of the house and walked along the beach. The winds were very strong, and I could hear the trees in the distance behind me rusting gently. The waves where enormous, making the air cool with drizzles of water.

So I held my left arm out, to touch the minute drops of water in the air. Feeling the salty dampness between my fingertips, making them stiffen and smooth. And as I turned around to walk along the beach in the other direction, I held my right arm out. And for a moment, I turned to the sea with both hands outstretch, with the wind blustering furiously over and under my arms and fingertips. I walked forward a bit and hopped up into the air, hoping that the wind would make me float like a bird. Hoping that as I was in the middle of the air, a particularly strong gust would pick me up and lift me into the dark skies and towards the moon.

And even though I didn't fly away, I felt free.

~~~
(age 15)

Perhaps it is a complusion, I told myself as I snuck out of my dorm to follow after Lupin. The night draws to me and the sound of the lake hitting the shore gives me a false sense of security.

And for once, when I should have been aware, I let my guard down and unthinkingly went into the dark tunnel.

~~~
(age 35)

I had stopped trusting the night after my fifth year. It was no longer a sanctuary, but a lie, hiding the darker evils that threatened to tear me apart.

I can't sleep, haven't been able to since the Shrieking Shack.

So I lurk in the shadows like a vigilante, trying to scare the lies and of the night.

A unseen shadow whisps across the hall and I stalk after it like a bat.

I tell myself this isn't revenge, but even I know deep down that that's a lie.

~~~

(age 39)

Originally the house had gone to my cousin on my mother's side, a Muggle named Daren who didn't have much use for the house. Daren had decided to move to Brazil for unknown reasons and thus one day sent me a letter with the deed to the house.

I had gotten the note through special means: redirected Muggle mail to the owlery in Hogsmeade, which was then sent to Hogwarts.

With the Voldemort campaign rising, Albus had decided to switch around the teacher's seats. With both Minerva and I sitting closest to him, so that if someone were to burst into the Great Hall, a combined attack from the three of us could do considerable damage.

And so when the mail came, Albus noticed, and being the busybody that he was, he snuck a few looks at my letter and recognized it as a deed to a house.

"You have been overworking yourself Severus," Albus said softly, the winter holidays were nearing. "Perhaps you should take a small haitus..."

We argued for at least an hour over this. But in the end we came to a compromise, I would only leave for three days.

~~~

Although there was snow in the area, there was barely a trace of it near the beach, for the salty air had melted it away.

The frozen sand crunches more loudly under my feet and I almost expect the edges of the water to freeze on the spot.

I know my lips are turning blue, I still can't figure out why I'm standing out here in the middle of winter, in the middle of the night. I must be unwell in the head. I blame Potter's influence, one should not work in such close proximity with one so stupid.

But perhaps it was just me, because I wasn't even thinking when I did it again. I raised my arms... feeling the wind blustering over and under my gloved hands.

And I closed my eyes...

And jumped into the air...

~~~

When I returned to Hogwarts at end of my brief haitus, I had good news for Albus.

He just gotten himself another Animagus.

end.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
on another note... I think I'm really sick...like I should go the Health Center or something sick...But I have this horrible fear of doctors and going to the Hospital alone...

Sanctity of Marriabe my ASS

Fri, 30 Apr 2004 21:09:39 GMT

LOL!

This so great

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=4146756343#ebayphotohosting

Comment on Memoria

Thu, 29 Apr 2004 21:29:43 GMT

I've been reading a lot of rants on the Mailing lists and the M.B.s about Clark's attitude in Memoria. But I think the actual problem lies with the creators of the show.

The creators made the inital mistake of casting Clark to someone that was too old to play a 14/15 year old kid (assuming that Smallville year 1, Clark was a freshman in high school). And thus we tend to forget that Clark is just a child. Think about it, freshman year of high school, just how mature were you? I went back to my high school over spring break and oh god the kids are like... tiny, and not only that, they're thought process is immature, childish... everything that is to be expected of a freshman in High School.

But we're getting disjointed thoughts from Smallville episodes because we're seeing a 25+ year old man playing a juvenile. So of course when we see Clark acting unreasonably, we're thinking, you should be mature enough to understand. But the truth of the matter is, he isn't mature enough. He's just a scared little boy trying to point the finger at everyone else instead of stopping and looking at what he's doing himself.

Children see the world in black and white. And that's how Clark is acting. I love Tom welling, but I do think there is a problem with the casting, age-wise.

And btw, take a good look at Ryan, he seemed like a little kid in Smallville, but in actuality, he's 17. And now think of how Clark should actually look like since he's supposed to be 16/17.

maybe I'll get a webpage

Sun, 25 Apr 2004 03:31:34 GMT

I think I'll get a webpage this summer and post up my fanfics and yes, my art work. But I'll have the link to my fandom stuff hidden somewhere, like the fifth asterisk along the bottom border or something.

I've never ever posted my work because I think scanners hate me or something. But I think I draw decenly...
I was in the AP art program for two years...and I've been drawing for the last 11 years... that counts for something right?

I know I can't compare with glockgal and yukiporn and a gazillion other hp artists when it comes to cartoon art, but I'd like to give it a shot this summer.

I've only been trained in realistic art... so I'm considering a change of pace

~~~
And one question: how come the Smallville fandom hardly has any drawn fanart?

Manips don't count, my boyfriend can do manips and he can't draw to save his life.

~~~~

:p heh, is it bad that I think manips don't really count as art? I mean... you just kinda stick the head one someone else's body and move things around, blur the edges and voila! it's done...

Gee, I mean. It's kind of disappointing... and cheap... it is!
I'm okay with drawing your own figures first and then scanning them in.

But taking other people's photos and other people's art and 'making' it into yours? come on! That's not art!

... but then I could be a bit biased because the art teacher that I hated more than anything in the world couldn't draw to save his life and tried to force us to copy plagarized art. I know that it made me so mad my senior year that I broke into rants or tears more than once.

hahhahaaa

Sun, 11 Apr 2004 05:58:07 GMT

McCoy is awesome. His views on gay marriage:

"I say let them marry, why shouldn't they be as miserable as the rest of us?"

*falls over laughing*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random quote of the day:

Cogitationis poenam nemo patitur -
Nobody should be punished for his thoughts

geezus

Sat, 10 Apr 2004 07:21:52 GMT

Wow I haven't written in a long time!

eh, it's sort of because I'm lazy and I've only been writing in my real-life journal latey.

Yes, fandom is my little secret that I only share with miki, because... I kind of think all my other friends are like... asexual. No really, I mean, it takes them a really long time to get sex jokes and during a sleepover only two of us admitted to having an orgasm...

Wow, I means that 6 girls that are 18 now have never experienced an orgasm.... (note: they aren't even religious either).

Hence my conclusion that they're asexual.

Just baffles my mind. I like need to read fiction porn at least once a day!

So yeah, back to not updating... I don't really think anyone reads this, so I don't really bother... to update two journos unless I have fiction.

Right now, I really want to write futurefic Clex porn with a slight crossover from Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind. Plus HP fandom has given me a lot of ideas *g*, damn they have really good porn. I think i'm going to go with a futurefic Clex conflict (you know the usual 'Luthor kill Superman') with a twist... a sort of ambiguous consent. (you know, i just realized that Clex porn is ususally kind of mellow compared to some of the stuff I've read in HP fandom. It's usually really consensual and they're sort of lovey dovey. And I've only read a few hot ones where they just screw and it's all about lust... I donno why I like that, I mean, I like the darker situations I guess.

Because something interesting always happens when I talk to miki

Sun, 15 Feb 2004 08:14:09 GMT

just some excerpts:

miki (10:59:08 PM): It went like

Her brother: ".. I mean, who would want to see two guys making out?"
Me: (raising hand) "I would."
Brother: "......"
Me: "... oop."
me (10:59:16 PM): lol!
miki (10:59:31 PM): It happened in Japanese class, too.
me (10:59:36 PM): HAHAHA!!!!
miki (10:59:46 PM): But the girl across from me had a Gravitation image on her binder! What was I to do?
me (10:59:53 PM): i think it's silly, it's the same for both girls and guys
me (11:00:10 PM): guys like to see girls make out and girls like to see guys make out
miki (11:01:03 PM): I know!
me (11:01:15 PM): most guys are dumb like that
miki (11:01:24 PM): I tried that argument once, and the guy looked confused and went, "But ... lesbians are hot."
me (11:01:29 PM): thud
miki (11:01:40 PM): And I just sat there like, "Why do you have to have a head?"

~~~~~

miki (11:25:20 PM): I was writing a Mary Sue, once, before I even understood the concept.
miki (11:25:36 PM): When I looked back over her and realized what she was, I decided to have her go crazy. Literally. Bonkers.
me (11:25:42 PM): yay!
miki (11:25:51 PM): It was fun ^^
me (11:25:59 PM): hahaha
miki (11:26:07 PM): She drools and stuff ^^
me (11:26:15 PM): XD thumps head
miki (11:26:37 PM): And kills little boys
me (11:27:34 PM): lol!
miki (11:27:55 PM): I drew the line at having her do disgusting pedophilic things with them.
miki (11:28:03 PM): That was .. too much for me
miki (11:28:19 PM): Speaking of which, my bf wrote dolphin porn for me.
miki (11:28:21 PM): It was traumatic.
me (11:28:39 PM): omg!
miki (11:29:15 PM):
Little Timmy: "What's he doing?"
Dolphin: *nudging at his ass with prehensile penis*
Dad: "He's just playing with you son."
Little Timmy: "Hee hee, it tickles!"
me (11:29:25 PM): ahhhh!
miki (11:29:33 PM): And then they got it on
miki (11:29:40 PM): I screamed the entire time he was reading it
me (11:29:42 PM): ahhhhk!
miki (11:29:47 PM): I think he enjoys my pain
me (11:30:01 PM): dies.... laughing

drrr...

Tue, 10 Feb 2004 09:50:57 GMT

I bitterly despise my suitemates and am highly envious of roommate.

I can't help it if i'm a light sleeper. I really want to kill the people in the living room right now, It's almost 2 in the fucking morning and they won't shut up about their fucking heart to heart talk.

I wish i could sleep like a fucking log *glares at roommate*

Oh! and one more Smallville fic

Sun, 08 Feb 2004 02:44:37 GMT

Smallville fic - this one I actually finished but i never dared to post it ... I donno why though... maybe it's because his tone of voice is wrong... and i think it was never really that much of a clex fic but a fic about Clark...

Title: The Lost Summer
Summary: Clark's last summer before he goes off to college

By bitmaxmouse

Disclaimers: Smallville and Superman characters and things don’t belong to me.

Note: This story is a bit more stylistically... conversational. It isn’t really clear cut formatted. It’s more like a conversational diary than anything else. There will be parts that sort of detract from the main thing Clark is saying, but then at the same time, he’s just writing down his thoughts. I hope these few small nuances don’t turn you away from it though. Enjoy. Oh and the little '(...)' in the story are not A/N they're just Clark's little random thoughts.

~~~

I was 18 years old the summer of my senior year. In a strange transitional phrase that one can only experiences after receiving their diploma in the mailbox and then anticipating college. Back then, I could only describe everything crudely as loss, but not really, you don’t call growing up... losing. Do you?

I’m not making any sense. Let’s start from the beginning.

~~~

My father didn’t need to give me that ‘look’; I knew that he wanted to say ‘I told you so’ every single damn time. I wasn’t really friends with Lex anymore. We were now ‘passing’ friends. A polite nod and smile as we passed each other on the street was the only exchange that happened now. I wanted to blame the entire situation on ‘our secrets’, but it wasn’t just that. It was the fear of the unknown, the tension mistaken as hostility, the squirming under the skin. If we couldn’t be honest with ourselves about who we were, how could we be honest with each other?

...or with anyone for that matter?

Which was probably why everyone else drifted away from me.

Dating Lana might have been a mistake; I still have disputes with myself about that. I dated her because she was an unreachable goal (god that sounds so horrible and cliché), no no...I think I dated her because she was THERE! And my hormones were THERE and somehow they went on together on the ‘twirl and whirl’ and the mess that came out was my crush for Lana.

Wow, now this sounds more awful, I’m comparing my feelings for Lana to puke. Well, if you ate a lot of cotton candy before, it would be pretty pink... and chunky. With a horrible aftertaste; that was exactly how it seemed after I broke up with her. Of course she would make me feel the backlash of breaking up with her, of course she was bitter, of course she wouldn’t let it go. The hilarious thing was: it was wholly expected and yet took me by surprise.

I know that everyone had thought that she was too good for me and broke up with me because of it. Despite the rumors, I broke up with her, and it wasn’t for any complicated reasons or ‘irrevocable differences’; it was just because there was no chemistry. Like doing your Chem. 1,2 lab all wrong and your mixture tube stays flat while everyone else’s fizzes. Leaving you with a big fat red F (including the little sad face on the side. Mr. Bronsen would have made the perfect kindergarten teacher, his sad faces were perfect.).

I hate perfect. (sorry, digressing again)

Whenever I went out on a date with Lana, I’d start talking, prompting her to get into the conversation. So she would, if anyone ever had a long conversation with Lana, you’d realize that once you give her control of the floor, you’ll never get it back. I bet the senators up at capital hill gave a sigh of relief when she realized she had no political aspirations. Whenever she started to talk, my mind would wander, but I didn’t want to seem impolite, so I kept looking at her face as she spoke, and started to notice the little things. Like how she wore too much cover up; which was why her skin seemed so flawless. (I wonder if she picked that up from Nell.) I wonder how many blemishes she has. After staring at her makeup too long, I started to realize that it was too orange. Yeah, she kinda looked like she ate too many carrots or something. Oh, and there was the eye rolling problem. I once started to count how many times she could eye roll in an hour.

26 times.

All in all, it didn’t work out. I’d half hoped that it was because I had to run out to save someone during our dates (which only happened twice), but no, it was actually because I spaced out too much during our dates. One day after ‘smiling and nodding’ too much at Lana while she talked, I decided that I really had my limit of ‘smiling and nodding’. So I broke up with her.

She’s really pretty when she cries. I almost took her back. Almost.

As I look back, our relationship was like the first line of that Goo Goo Dolls song:

*''You and I got something, but its all and then its nothing to me...''*

Then there was Chloe and Pete.

Chloe sort of screwed everyone over under the wing of Lionel. The town more or less turned the their back on her after this huge fiasco when she got a bad source, got two Smallville citizens killed, but no proof of my alien secret. She moved to Metropolis with her cousin Freddie. She didn’t like Freddie as much as Lois. But Lois wasn’t very good at pity. Chloe really needed pity after the mess.

Pete just kind of drifted away. He wanted to be a politician, he got into Dartmouth. You should have seen how thrilled his mom looked when he received his acceptance letter. She couldn’t sleep for a week because of how happy she was. Pete was also pretty pleased with himself. All his interning, SAT studying, and working his butt off paid off. He got an internship at Washington D.C. for the summer. He was so eager to go that he actually missed graduation to attend the internship. I made a mental note to vote for him in the distant future.

I wanted to grow up and make new friends, but I also missed my oldfriends and wanted to cling onto them. But no one was left. I never really made friends with anyone else. Too hard, too complex... too weird. But really, it was just me and my excuses.

***

I went to Jane’s Café now to avoid Lana. It was across the street from Todd’s Auto Repair shop and was located on the corner of sixth and Bessie Street (heh, I’d have half expected a Hoedown Street here). Jane’s Café bought out the Beanery after the Beanery filed for a Chapter 11 thanks to Lana. The Talon still drew more customers even now, even though Jane’s Café was new.

I liked Jane’s Café. It was nice and dusky in a way poetry readers would describe as an ideal location to bring out the mood in poetry. But Smallville didn’t have poets. Smallville didn’t have musicians either. So Jane Wilson, the mid-30’s owner, would play a tape of poetry reading she bought on eBay for $3.00 and occasionally switch it with Jazz music streaming lazily from the brown old vintage 70’s radio sitting on the countertop. It reminded me of a short story I read a long time ago about a Mexican boy who would visit his grandmother and they would play salsa over their yellow plastic radio with worn black dials while making tortillas for dinner. That’s all I can remember, but perhaps it’s because it seemed so real, so natural that I could taste the tortilla flour wafting in the air.

Or it could have been the flour floating around from Jane’s fresh made pancakes.

Jane’s was the kind of place that would let you stay the day and no one would kick you out if you stayed too long or if you fell asleep in one of the bean bag chairs. And if Jane really liked you, she’d show you her secret stash of comic books she kept hidden in the back.

I visited Jane’s so much that eventually she’d start bringing the comic books out to me and leaving them on my usual table whenever I came in. I felt special at Jane’s because I always had a seat there, regardless of how many people were milling around. It was the fifth booth from the front and it would always have a plastic reserved card sitting in the middle the table. The vinyl forest green seats were perfectly bouncy and the table was always clean. All of Jane’s waitresses and waiters knew me and we’d usually talk for about five minutes before we went back to our own thing.

Jane’s was the place for loners and dreamers that wanted to be left alone with Ella Fitzgerald playing in the background.

***

I stopped hanging out in my loft after a while. It seemed like a place where I spent a lot of time hanging out with my friends; especially Lex. After our ‘friends’ status declined, I felt as if going to the loft was violating something sacred in the past. Like breaking into a tomb or a capsule; forever frozen in time.

My quiet contemplations and brooding were mulled over in my room now. While in my room, it was very common for me to sit in the dark, staring at nothing and thinking of everything. I would even sit in the same position every time. My back would be against headboard, my feet stretched out over the covers and my limp, lazy hands would lie: one in my lap, one next to me on the covers.

Tonight, my brooding seemed less than usual and I was left conscious of my surroundings. I sighed and slumped down a little, causing the bed to tilt, just a bit; which brought back memories of levitating over my bed.

I’d have to look into that.

With the ship gone, I was completely on my own now.

***

On nights when I couldn’t sit around in my room thinking, I would walk around aimlessly. A lot of times, I’d end up in town, walking through the streets, but keeping close to the shadows. Curfew around Smallville was around 10:30pm and the new sheriff was anal as hell.

Night in Smallville was an experience in itself. The streetlights became a blur like stars with faded halos that would turn the streets into an old dull orange color. It vaguely reminded me of old shady bars on Broadway where jaded young men, lost drunken fathers and aimless wanderers gathered to trade stories from the road and the soul.

What would have made moments like these even more perfect would have been a soft seductive bass in the background strumming impromptu. Nights weren’t meant to be routine. They were erratic and special in their own way because in the night, you could do anything under the veils of the starry robes that promised to keep your secrets safe.

On a lot nights I would gaze up at the clear, unmarred sky and wave at the twinkling stars. I don’t know why I did that, it just seemed the right thing to do every time they winked at me.

Eventually one night I wandered near the other end of town and found Rene’s still open. Rene’s was an Italian restaurant that Smallville citizens only go to on special occasions. For some reason they always felt like it was an ‘upper class’ place. The town’s strange outlook at Rene’s didn’t really bode too well for her business. I mean, she did make a profit. But she always had so much left over food, a big waste.

Rene had noticed me peeking into the dimly lighted store and motioned for me to come in with the tilt of her brown hair. I was hesitant at first. I tried to come up with a good reason why I shouldn’t go in and found none. I shrugged and walked in.

The first thing Rene asked me was, ''Are you hungry?

Sure I was; I was always hungry. But I didn’t want to impose. So I started to shake my head. Rene sighed, her brown eyes darkening in disappointment, ''Damn, I don’t really want to throw out all that pasta. It’s such a waste. I mean, I’ll let you eat it for free.''

My eyes perked up a bit. If she was already going to throw it away then...

''Sure then. I’ll help out.''

Rene jumped a little in happiness as she placed the broom against a pillar and dashed into the kitchen. When she came back out, she had this really nice plate of penne, made the Italian way with many pieces of well cooked tomatoes mixed with basil and other subtle herbs instead of the usual overpowering Prego sauce I was used to. Till this day, I still lie to my mom about who makes the best pasta. Every time I said, ''You mom!'', I really was thinking, ‘Rene, duh.’.

But don’t tell her that.

I started to drop in on Rene’s on a common basis. She always seemed to have leftovers, I ate like a horse. It was an easy friendship. (I really needed friends at that time.) No questions, no lies, just a quiet acceptance with what you gave her. Just like Jane.

Rene was different from everyone else in Smallville in that she didn’t grow up in Kansas. In fact, she was an Italian American who grew up in California, land of the sun, freedom, gay pride, liberal thoughts, beaches... it strangely resembled heaven from the way Rene described it. Rene had moved to Smallville when she was 17, same age as I was at the moment. Both of her parents had died on the same day, one of a heart attack and the other crashed on highway 101 after they heard about the death of their spouse on the cell phone. In her case, her life after was more devastating. Her dad was still in debt, and thus, all the money that was left was taken to pay off the debt, pay for the funeral, and other miscellaneous things that she couldn’t remember. What she did remember was that it was the government’s fault. All the money that got taken away were by men in immaculate suits, all in the name of the government; men with cold faces who didn’t care if she would be put out on the street. Every penny was to be squeezed out of her.

''One problem with California was its standard of living.'' Rene told me once. It was far too expensive for anyone to live in unless they were as rich as Lex, Rene lived in a small house, in fact, it was smaller than my house and it already cost her parents half a million dollars.

Rene said that she eventually hitch hiked and begged her way to Kansas.

‘Small town people have big hearts’ Rene told me as she played with the red paper napkin. She said that she had intended on wandering around for the rest of her life, but Smallville had really helped her out.

During one of my visits, I somehow managed to find out that she had cancer. Which was also another reason why she left California, she wasn’t able to afford any of the care. In my heart, I wanted to scream and yell at God for making this poor girl’s life so fucking miserable. But when I told her this, she just thanked me and then shrugged. She didn’t really expect anything anymore. She just wanted to live out the rest of her life.

After I found out about her imminent death, she talked about it comfortably; even as she became thinner and weaker. One day I asked her how old she was.

She was the same age as Lex; 23.

***

I forgot to mention earlier that Jane was an African American woman. But not just any woman, she was a woman whose singing could blow you away. However, she did have problem with singing in front of others. Somewhere in her life she must have developed a low self-esteem because she always thought she sounded bad whenever she sounded great. It was her own mind that was stopping her from reaching her full potential.

If I was lucky, I would to be in Jane’s café while no other customer was there. Then Jane would have the courage to sing. She seemed like a transformed person when she sang; she’d strut to the ‘stage area’ of the café like a diva while holding a wooden spoon and belt out ‘Little Girl Blue’, ‘Fall in Love Too Fast’, or anything else. Jane had this sort of resonating voice that’d just make you want to get a little bit closer to listen and hope the song was little bit longer.

And if she wasn’t singing, she was playing the piano next to the ‘stage area’. She was a pianist.

And it was thanks to her that I learned how to play.

It happened this one cool afternoon when everyone was outside enjoying the weather, but I preferred to stay in the café to listen to Jane. She went up with her wooden spoon as usual and started to sing. In the middle of the song she stopped singing and frowned, ''I forgot that this song has a piano solo. But I can’t just start playing. The song meshes with a really complex piano part.''

Suddenly Jane glanced over at me and had an idea.

''Oh Clark~.'' She crooned. My eyes widened.

''Yes?''

''Would you like to learn how to play the piano? I’m in sore need of someone to accompany me.''

''uh...''

''That’s great! Thank you!''

It’s not like I really had any say in it. When it came to Jane, I really couldn’t say ‘no’ to her.

So I slowly learned how to play through her teaching. It was actually pretty nice because I didn’t need to worry about breaking the keys like the strings like a guitar. It was just a light pressure on the keys. Anyways, I could control my strength far better now than I could before. I never broke a single key.

So it became this sort of sweet simple partnership between Jane and I, she’d sing as I played the piano. There were no complications and no excuses. I vaguely wondered what Chloe, Pete, Lana and Lex would think as they watched my performance with Jane. I know that the waiters and waitresses were actually willing to work an extra hour if they got a free show. As I played more with Jane, her confidence grew, and occasionally she’d sing in front of a few customers that were in the café. I know that afterwards, those customers would call almost daily to see if Jane was doing another performance. Even though Jane had her evidence that she actually sounded wonderful, she was still a bit stage-shy, so she didn’t really sing often. But it was okay, the waiters and waitresses and I were still working on it.

***

I learned how to fly on a hot, muggy summer’s night. The air was too oppressive to sleep. My eyelids were heavy, but a resounding ache behind them kept me up for most of the night. My stomach felt a bit queasy, like I wanted to throw up. Every time I closed my sore weighted eyes, I wanted to throw up. The air seemed too thick to breathe and I’d have to take a deep breath every few moments so I wouldn’t feel like I was suffocating.

At the ungodly hour of 1:37am, I climbed out of bed and quietly tiptoed down the stairs; careful to avoid the squeaky areas I had memorized so well. I didn’t even put on my boots until I was halfway down the steps of our porch.

I started to run out into the fields and for some strange reason, an inner urge within me wanted to jump, so I did. I jumped as hard as I could and I flew into the air smoothly without resistance. At some point, I had expected to fall right back down once I reached the apex of my jump. However, I just floated there.

Flying is kind of like floating in water, but without the breathing problem. And when I flew, I only had to think about moving, without really doing so. (It wasn’t until later, when I was older, that I would find out from AI that I hadn’t really been flying, per se, I was actually telekinetic and could lift myself into the air.)

I was ecstatic about my new ability, finally an ability that could set me free. I went further up into the sky, beyond the spattered clouds and into the infinite space where I could look down upon my sleepy dark town. For the rest of the night I flew around, directionless but tremendously happy at the same time. For a second, I wanted to race to Lex’s castle and call out to him, ''Yes I believe a man can really fly!''

But I drew back, once more feeling the hurt of losing a friend who had been so close.

I wished that Lex were like Jane and Rene, without question and full of tolerance. But a small thought flittered in the back of my mind like a moth trapped behind a screen, ‘But they aren’t as close friends as Lex and you were.’ I shook the thought away like dust on my sleeve, unwilling to accept the situation.

It didn’t matter anymore anyways. Lex and I weren’t really friends anymore.

***
I guess I’ve neglected to mention the meteor mutants so far because fighting them had become a routine. They’d appear sporadically, anything from twice a week to one every two weeks. I can’t exactly recall all of them, but some stood out more than others.

There was this one girl who was absolutely obsessed with vampires. She always dressed like a Goth, regardless of the weather and she’d always put in her vampire plastic teeth whenever she could. I think she had this sort of strange expectation that all vampires would become like the pretty ones on Buffy or Interview with the Vampire. Somewhere along the way, she had gotten hold of a meteorite bracelet and eventually her dream of becoming a vampire came true... sort of. Instead of this sleek, beautiful being she had imagined, she actually became this hideous enormous creature with a huge head and teeth so long it curled. The funny thing was, she couldn’t hurt anyone because she could hardly move, well... unless you died of horror at the sight of her. She eventually ran away into the woods located in the south of Smallville, since now she couldn’t stay in direct sunlight anymore.

There was this really pretty girl with red hair named Sharon who was pyro-kinetic, she didn’t really hurt anyone directly either. Actually she was more into stealing since her dad had always been really poor. I suspect she had access to her powers for quite a while too since she could control it to a pinpoint precision. In the end, like Kyle Tippet, she was one of the few I let go after I had her promise to stop stealing... well, that and she gave me a kiss.

The other meteor mutant was Michelle, her ability was that she could cause hallucinations through her hands and mind. Like the majority of the meteor mutant population, she went after Lana. This time for revenge, at first I had thought she was insane and treated her as such. But during the time between after I had captured her and waiting for the police (that Lana called, despite my protests) to arrive, she didn’t escape and we had a somewhat civil conversation. She explained to me that when she was in middle school, both she and Lana were in the same science class and had a crush on the same boy, Daniel. Their competition was supposed to fair. However Lana didn’t want to play fair, on the night before Smallville middle school gave out its honors awards, Lana had gotten a large group of her friends to ambush Michelle near Tanner field. Michelle wiped her glassy eyes and then shrugged, she then turned to me and said, ''Let’s just say that I was in such bad condition that I had to stay in the hospital for a week.''

I felt horrible for Michelle and I started to doubt my judgment of people. Who knew Lana could be so cruel. Good thing I had broken up with her huh?

As the police came, she looked resigned with her slouched shoulders and tired eyes. ''It’s okay Clark, it wasn’t your fault. I’ll keep your secret safe. It’s just... I don’t really have friends... at all... I was wondering'' Michelle hesitated of a second, ''... if you could write to me. You don’t have to ... umm..''

I nodded, ''I promise I’ll write.'' I quickly pulled a napkin out of my pocket and wrote down my address.

She quickly ran over and hugged me before the police put the cuffs on her, ''Thank you.''

Today, I still write to her. I promised her in a letter once that I would write to her until she was out of prison, and then I promised that on the day she got out, I’d treat her to somewhere nice. (And I did.)

***

If my entire summer was spent at Rene’s, Jane’s Café, writing to Michelle, and flying at night, it would have been ideal. But most of the things I mentioned above happened mostly in the first few weeks of summer vacation.

Everything went wrong early-July.

I didn’t realize that my odd behavior had not gone unnoticed by my parents. I guess the hazy summer days made me more absentminded than usual and some days I’d slip off to Jane’s Café without leaving a note. Mom and Dad knew that Chloe and Pete were away. They also knew that Lex and I weren’t really close anymore. And they also knew that I wasn’t really on speaking terms with Lana.

I guess my seemingly absence of friends started to worry them. They’d ask stuff during dinner, like: ''What’d you do today?'' or ''Did you hang out with anyone today?''

My usual answer now was a shrug, as opposed to my ecstatic answers in the past which then would lead to describing my adventures that day. I guess I sort of would brood after my parents asked these questions, so I never really noticed their worried glances.

There were a few incidences which led to ‘the big mess’ (as I’ve dubbed it).

There was this one time during dinner when I had zoned out completely as my parents made conversation. I guess I sort of fell asleep or something because I didn’t hear them asking me a question at all. And then I nearly leaped out of my seat when my mom lightly tapped me on the shoulder to wake me up.

Then there were those few times when mom would check on me at night, only to realize that I wasn’t in the house at all. I mean, I explained my insomnia them after the first time, but it still bothered them greatly.

I also ran into trouble when my dad once caught me sitting in the dark in my room, completely out of it. He told me that he had to shake me a few times to wake me up.

But what really got me in trouble was the ‘imaginary friend’ thing. I guess that as you got older you weren’t supposed to have imaginary friends. Like I said before, I needed a friend; a friend that would understand me on a deeper level than Rene or Jane.

Ironically, my imaginary friend’s name was ‘Lana Lang’ but it wasn’t Lana Lana. Nope, this Lana had reddish-orange hair that reminded me of rubies in the sun or ripe sweet tangerines and it was always tied up with a blueberry blue ribbon. And for some bizarre reason, she always wore a sky blue 50’s poodle skirt and a white blouse. Lana had blue animated eyes that always were wide in interest at anything you said. And when she blushed, her freckles would stand out.

I really liked this Lana, she was smart and quirky with a hint of Chloe snark. She had a strange sense of humor, but that was okay, I thought she was pretty funny. Another thing that made her very different from my ex was that this Lana knew what she wanted to be. She wanted to be a designer. (I later suspected that this idea came from my gay subconscious).

If Lana were a real person, she would have been the second person I told my secrets to.

She fit me in every way, obviously, because she was a figment of my imagination, she always understood me. On sadder nights when I killed or badly injured a meteor mutant, she would be there by my side, keeping me sane and strong. I told her my adventures and my secrets. I told her about losing my friends. And she would touch my face and tell me that she was still there.

On cool crisp nights we would walk through the fields together as the wet dewy grass soaked her skirt and the cuffs of my pants. Then as the sun rose over the horizon, we’d sit together on the old rickety fence with our feet hooked onto the bottom rung as we leaned back on the top rung.

Sunrises were always better with a friend, even if they didn’t exist. (In the distant future, when I wrote my autobiography I always talked about this Lana. I made her into a real tangible person because I could; because life sucked in every way and the art of writing made it hurt less.... Heh, you can imagine my ex’s horrified face when she realized that I wasn’t talking about her.)

***

‘The Big Mess’ was the result of my parent’s anxiety and worry and my inability to cope with reality.

It happened at dinner time, my mom started to talk about something. I wasn’t paying attention. Somehow, my mind conjured Lana and put her at the end of the table, in the guest seat. Lana started talking.

''Oh hey! I heard that Mr. Shelton has a new litter of puppies, you want to visit?''

I grinned at her and nodded.

Unfortunately, my transaction was caught by my mom. She gave me the strangest look, like as if it turned out I really had an alien second skin that suddenly revealed itself.

''Honey, why are you smiling like that?'' my mom asked as her hands fiddled with her chipped cat mug nervously.

''I was just thinking of a joke I heard.''

''Care you share?''

I shrugged and looked down, ''It’s not a very appropriate joke... sorry.''

Mom and dad sighed and resumed their meal. I glanced over, Lana was still there, she was blushing a bit. ''Sorry about that.''

I shrugged, ''It’s okay.''

''What’s okay?'' I looked up and found my dad staring at me.

''Uh...'' My mouth worked for a bit and I shook my head, ''Nothing. Sorry, I was zoning out.''

''You do that a lot now honey.'' Mom commented quietly, but she didn’t look up at me.

''I don’t mean to.'' I replied meekly. I looked at my half finished dinner. I really wasn’t hungry anymore so stood up and excused myself from the table.

Later that evening, I started to talk to Lana again. We talked about friends and I told her about all my friends and how they left me (geez, broken record much?). She patted me on the shoulder, ''It’s okay, you’ll find new friends. Hey, I’m your friend right?''

I grinned at her, ''Yeah. If only I could be so lucky and find someone like you Lana.''

Lana giggled; he freckles were very prominent right now. She played with the helm of her poodle skirt for a moment. ''So, talk to me about journalism again.''

I blinked a few times and shrugged. ''I don’t know. It could be Chloe influence.''

Lana rubbed her chin, ''Hmm, that’s not the greatest reason to decide on your future job. I mean, you have to feel passion for it. You can’t just be obligated to do it because your friend used to do it.''

I nodded in agreement. ''Well, I like writing and I like informing people. Maybe in a subconscious way, I’m doing this because I was never informed about myself and I realized how bad I felt. So maybe I want to do this, so people will always know what’s going on. Maybe this way, everyone won’t be so... lost.''

Lana nodded; she looked content and satisfied with my answer. ''There you go.''

''Thanks Lana.''

There was a light rap on my door and dad came in, ''I thought Lana was in here.''

I quickly shook my head to cover up the situation, ''I was um... on the phone.''

My dad looked around, ''I don’t see a phone.''

I quietly fidgeted in my seat, no saying another word.

It turned out that mom was also there, standing in the hallways. I realized that they had eavesdropping on me. A sort of indignant quiet resentment built up as I looked at both of my parents. ''Were you listening to me?!''

My mom looked down at the floor and then glanced at the light switch, ''Why are you sitting here in the dark honey.''

''I like it like that...'' I murmured. ''It helps me think.''

Mom walked from her place in the doorway and sat down on the bed next to me. Dad sat on the desk chair that Lana had been sitting in. He glanced at the two bottles of coke on the table. ''Who were you talking to son?''

''I wasn’t talking to anyone.''

''Then what’s with the two cokes?''

''I was thirsty.''

''... They had a straw in each.''

I was silent as I turned to the left; I refused to look at my mom or dad. A part of me screamed, ‘I can’t believe you invaded on my privacy like that!’

The other half of me just stayed silent like an obedient little son. Damn, I wished that I could just stand up for myself ... just once. But then, in this situation, I couldn’t really stand up for anything. What was I going to say? ''Leave me and my imaginary friend alone!''? ''

No, that wouldn’t bode well at all.

''We heard you say Lana’s name.'' My mom mentioned as she touched my shoulder lightly. ''Do you miss her?''

I shook my head. ''It’s not about Lana. I don’t miss her.''

''Well... with her breaking up with you.''

''I broke up with her.'' I answered quickly.

''What?'' My father asked. I realized that my parents thought she had broken up with me too. Just great...

''I broke up with her.'' I mumbled again.

''Why?'' My mom sounded scared almost.

''It didn’t work out. After I dated her, I just realized that I had no common interests with her. It’s pretty simple.''

''But you’ve been chasing her...''

''For years? I know. It’s just that, she didn’t live up to my expectations. It was a whirl of a wind thing. I wasn’t thinking. I should have just stayed friends with her.'' I paused, maybe I said a little too much.

''So why are you saying Lana’s name?'' My mom probed.

At that moment, I became a bit too angry, a bit too irrational... ''Look Lana isn’t my ex, she’s just a friend.''

''Then where is she?''

''It doesn’t matter where she is. At least I have a friend dammit!''

''We’re just concerned honey.'' Mom pleaded, but I was so engrossed in my displeasure that I was beyond listening to them.

''You don’t need to be concerned! I’m fine!'' I really wasn’t fine; I just wanted them off my back.

In that moment, I made the biggest mistake of my life.

I forgot that Lana wasn’t real.

She was standing by my drawers, looked down guiltily, like she had caused this argument. I quickly turned to her and said, ''Tell them Lana! Tell them I’m fine!''

She looked up at me sadly and shook her head as she disappeared into thin air.

***

Mrs. Mora (Who’ve I’ve dubbed Mrs. Moron.) showed up later that week with large suitcases. My parents had hired her to ‘analyze’ me.

The first time I met her, I had gaped as she said, ''Hi Clark, I’m going to be your psychiatrist. Your parents have told me about your conditions and I think it’s severe enough that I live with you a while and see how you act during the day.''

I scowled at her, turned around and walked back upstairs. I locked myself in my room for the rest of day pouting, brooding and glaring at the picture of my parents on my desk. ''How could you do this to me?!'' I yelled at the photo. I rushed over and placed the picture facing down, As if I could hurt them by making them go away.

I had half hoped that Mrs. Mora had left when I came downstairs the next day. But no, there she was with her perfect stupid bun and her bifocal glasses that didn’t improve her ugly, pruny wrinkle face. She smiled at me unnervingly and sipped coffee from the mug that Lex used to use whenever he had dinner with us. I had never had such a huge urge to hit a woman than I did then. Strangely enough, Cartman’s (from South Park) song emerge in my head (with a few changes). '' Weelll, Mrs. Mora’s a bitch! She’s a big fat bitch! She’s the biggest bitch in the whole wide world! She’s stupid bitch if there was a bitch, she’s a bitch to all the boys and girls!...''

I really had to smile at that. Jane, the waiters, the waitresses and I had watch the south park movie one Tuesday afternoon when no customers came in.

‘Jane!’ I suddenly remembered, ‘I can run to Jane’s.’

I skipped breakfast again as I put on a light jacket and headed towards the porch, ''I’m going out mom!''

My mom frowned unhappily at me, ''I’d rather you have breakfast at home.''

''We need to discuss and analyze how extensive your schizophrenia is.'' Mrs. Mora cut in.

I crossed my arms and stood there. For once, I was really being completely disobedient. ''I said I’m going out.''

''We don’t have the money.''

''I know a place where I can get a free breakfast.''

''Honey, I can’t believe you’d be so rude to Mrs. Mora, she’s trying to help you!''

I tried to bite my tongue, I really did. But I was just... too mad, ''I don’t give a flying fuck about what Mrs. Moron is trying to do! You’re the one to talk about money?! You’re wasting our money by hiring her!''

''We’re worried about you honey! We care about you!''

I slammed the front door shut and shouted from the driveway, ''Well care less!''

***

Mrs. Moron was more annoying than a mosquito...no, more like a zombie mosquito that wouldn’t die.

After I ran out of the house, I started to walk towards town and Mrs. Moron got into her car and followed me... yes, she followed me at 3 miles an hour shadowing me the entire goddamn way. I’d turn around and glare at her a couple of times.

After about half and hour of walking, I got into town and headed straight for Jane’s.

Unfortunately, Lex bumped into me as I passed by the Talon.

''Hey Clark!'' Lex called out to me. I waved, sped up and looked away.

I could sense that Lex felt something was off. I counted in my mind, ‘ 5...4...3...2...’

Lex turned around and started to follow me, ''Why is there a car following you?''

''It’s nothing,'' I muttered.

Lex frowned and looked at Mrs. Mora in her car. ''Is she trying to hurt you?''

''Yeah, she’s trying to warp my brain!'' I yelled loud enough so that Mrs. Mora could hear.
''Your schizophrenia needs to analyzed and controlled Clark!'' Mrs. Mora stated. I mentally smacked myself in the head after Lex tensed.

''You have schizophrenia?''

''No I don’t'' I answered a bit too quickly. ''Just leave me alone. You left me alone all this time already, it’s not that hard to ignore me again.'' Oops I said too much, again.

Lex looked hurt and guilty at the same time, ''I’m sorry Clark...''

I ignored him and continued towards Annie St. ‘I really don’t need this...’ my mind sing-songed.

‘Oh that’s wonderful,’ my head crowed, ‘Now you have Lex and Mrs. Mora following you. It’s kinda like that golden goose story. Eventually the entire town is going to be following you. Won’t that be a sight?’

''Shut up.'' I muttered.

By now, I could see Todd’s Auto repair shop. I picked up pace and turned the corner to enter Jane’s café. ''Jane!'' I called out, ''Help!''

Jane popped in, ''What’s wrong Sugar?''

I tilted my head towards Mrs. Mora’s car and Lex coming up the stairs of Jane’s café. Jane quickly walked over and locked the door just as Lex came up the second step. Lex scowled and knocked on the glass door, ''Why’d you close?''

''Family emergency, sorry about that. I know you’ll understand hon.'' Jane replied sweetly. The waitresses and waiters quickly went to the blinds and lowered them. I waved at Mrs. Mora while sipping my coffee with a smile as the blinds in front of my booth lowered.

‘Suckers.’

***

I explained everything to Jane and the waiters (and waitresses) through sobs, chocolate cookies, and an entire box of tissues. They comforted me as they patted me on the back. ‘See, they’re my friends!’ I told my mind. It didn’t reply. I read a few comics, we talked, and watched TV to kill time, in hopes that Mrs. Mora and Lex would leave.

Jane rubbed my back in circles, ''Hey hon, you can find sanctuary here anytime.''

I hugged her and thanked her. But I also knew that for her, closing shop was probably bad for her business. I checked the clock, it was almost 11, I would probably leave by 11 so she wouldn’t lose any business for lunch.

I hugged and thanked the waiters before I left, ''They should be gone by now.''

As I exited, I saw Lex sitting on the bottom step yelling at some poor guy at the other end of his cell phone and Mrs. Mora was asleep in her car. Lex was so engrossed in his phone conversation that I slipped by him, headed into an alley, and flew back home.

I later heard from Jane that as they pulled up the blinds, revealing an empty café, Lex had screamed ‘Fuck!’ so loud that you could hear it from the back kitchen.

***

I guess talking to Mrs. Mora was inevitable, since my back stabbing parents eventually grounded me. I didn’t give a fight. I mean, I mentally pointed out that I could sneak out anytime easily. But I didn’t say it, in fear of their wrath. They were really disappointed; which was worse than if they were just plain mad, because being disappointed meant that I could be their bitch for well over a month. If they were mad, it’s only last a few days at the most.

So I lay down on my bed as she grilled me until I was so annoyed that I stomped out of the room. Eventually, it became a game for me, I treated her like an idiot and I rolled my eyes as often as possible. I rolled my eyes so much that I probably had bumped my ex off of the Guinness world record on eye rolling. Our conversations were mostly like this:

''So Clark, talk about yourself.''

''Like what?''

''I donno, tell me what to talk about. Say something.''

''Something.''

Mrs. Mora gave a frustrated sigh, ''No, I didn’t mean it literally.''

''You should be more specific next time.''

She would furiously scribbled stuff down. Then she would turn to her next page on her stupid fat metal clipboard, ''Have you had hallucinations before?''

''No.''

''When did you create your ‘imaginary friend?’''

''I donno, two weeks ago or so.''

''Why?''

''Same reason why every kid has an imaginary friend!''

''Seventeen year olds do not have imaginary friends-''

''Then you wouldn’t be here.''

''I meant ‘normal’ seventeen year olds.''

''Fine then, define normal.''

''Well normal kids your age would have friends.''

''I have friends, remember the one that locked you out of her café? She thought you were insane. Maybe YOU should have your own head checked.''

''You’re acting very immature. Besides, I meant friends your age.''

''My friends just aren’t around this summer.''

Then she was quiet and then would peruse her clipboard

''You don’t seem to have a goal in life...''

''Sure I do. Getting rid of you.'' I cut her off again.

''Now Clark...''

''Now Mary...'' I mimicked her. I know I sounded completely immature and stupid and petulant. But it felt like the right thing to do at the time. Besides. It got her off my back for the rest of the day.

***

Lex visited once during one of my sessions. I didn’t see him standing in the doorway since I was staring at the ceiling, thinking of many horrible ways of mutilating her with my heat vision.

''So Clark, why did you name your imaginary friend Lana.''

''I don’t know.''

''Could it be because you regret breaking up with her.''

I gave her a mean laugh as I scoffed. ''No.''

''Well...''

''I said I don’t know!''

Mrs. Mora sighed and dropped the topic.

''Now tell me about your problems with your friends.''

I frowned, ''Why.''

''We’ve been over this.''

''I don’t feel like it.''

''I can’t help you if you don’t answer my questions.''

I decided to give her the silent treatment now.

She asked me a few more annoying questions, all of which I didn’t respond to.

''Clark!'' She raised her voice, then she calmed down, ''Please indicated to me that at least you’re listening.''

I gave her the third finger salute.

Mrs. Mora mad and angry sound that reminded me of a squealing pig.

''I didn’t know that you could be so rebellious.''

I looked up at Lex, raised an eyebrow, and lay back down.

''What are you doing here?''

''Checking on you. Why didn’t you answer the questions?''

''Didn’t feel like it.''

''You should have, she might be able to help yo-''

''Fuck off Lex. If you were still my friend, your opinion would have mattered.''

There was silence and a shuffle of footsteps as he exited my room.

Till this day, I still wonder how he looked like after that comment.

***
I finally got rid of Mrs. Mora when I told my parents that I had this huge urge to tell her all my secrets during my hypnosis sessions. Yes, my parents even let her use hypnosis on me. It actually sort of works if you get into it. I mean, you actually do have to do everything she says in order for it to work. But if your concentration is broken in any way, it just kind of flops. I was just bored one time and decided to go along with it. After that, I realized how dangerous it was for me to go into hypnosis because I just gave out information without even thinking about it. Luckily, she didn’t ask anything that would have prompted me to talk about my secret.

Mom and dad had turned ridiculously pale when I told them that one night during a ‘family’ conversation after Mrs. Mora had retired to bed.

The next evening Mom and dad had her packing. But it was too late. She was already so involved in my case that she wanted to ‘follow through’, free of charge. My parents outright refuse, although I could see a bit of hesitation. I couldn’t help but feel extremely betrayed.

It took her about 2 hours to pack and another 2 hours to try to convince my parents to let her stay. By the time we got rid of her, it was already nearly 12 and everyone was exhausted.

***

However, Mrs. Mora didn’t give up. Like I said, undead mosquito. The next morning, a really fat lady from social services, who looked like she could be named Helga, knocked on our front door. Mrs. Mora stood behind Helga like peacock, her head raised high and snottily.

''I can have your son turned over to me.'' She started, ''He obviously has untreated problems that need to be looked after. And because you won’t allow for me to continue examining him, I had to call social services. As parents, you’re neglecting him. And I have the right to take a minor out of your hands if I see fit and place him under ‘better’ care.''

My dad was fuming and my mom was utterly horrified. Dad couldn’t control his temper this time and he said things that he probably shouldn’t have, because then Mrs. Mora started to threaten to have a judge pull up a restraining order on both my parents.

I walked out from behind my parents and indicated for Mrs. Mora to talk to me in private on the side. Mrs. Mora looked at my parents and then at me, she nodded and followed me to the side until we were out of hearing range.

''Mrs. Mora, you actually cannot put me in another home.''

''But, you’re being neglected.''

I shook my head, ''No I’m not.''

''You’re just a minor, you don’t understand these things''

''I’m not just a minor and I understand these things perfectly.'' I reached into my pocket and pulled out a piece copied paper and handed it to her.

Mrs. Mora immediately paled, ''I’m getting this check out.''

''You do that.''

With that Mrs. Mora huffed and walked towards her car with ‘Helga’ in tow.

When I walked back to my parents, dad stopped me, ''What did you tell her?''

I looked down and rubbed my hands.

''Apparently, both of you totally forgot...I turned eighteen yesterday. I’m legally an adult.''

After that, my parents never pressured me to do anything again, they knew what it mean if I was eighteen: I could run away and they would have no way of ever finding me again.

But I must say, it hurt the most to know that they had completely forgotten about my birthday.

***

Even if after I chewed Lex out, he still was civil to me. I just couldn’t comprehend him. I mean, I’m constantly bashing on him and he still comes back, all smiles and fake forgiveness. It’s almost like the insults and injuries pass through him like they’re nothing.

But in my heart, I knew they weren’t ‘nothing’, because I could see it in his eyes. Every insult hurt to the core, but then he buried them deep, so deep that he wouldn’t accidentally slip up. There were times I just wanted to shake him and tell him to just breathe, stop counting to ten, stop holding it in and just scream at me like he wanted to.

He was just too in control.

A few days after ‘The Big Mess’, I found Lex waiting for me in the kitchen on my delivery day.

''Hey.'' He said quietly, unsure of how volatile I was. ''Sorry about intruding the other day. I forgot how touchy one could be during therapy.''

I looked at him, a question on my face.
In response, he nodded, ''I was in therapy for a while when I was nine, after the meteor shower. And then again when I was sixteen after I overdosed.''

I shrugged and shook my head, ''It’s okay. She’s gone.''

''She’s done? Already?'' Lex looked surprised.

''No, my parents threw her out. She was harassing me too much. After they kicked her out, she tried to get Social Services to take me away.''

Lex’s eyes became wide. ''How’d you get out of that one?''

I smirked, ''Easy, I just told her my age.''

''Oh my god. I forgot it was your birthday.''

I shrugged. ''Everyone forgot.''

Lex frowned, ''What do you ‘Everyone’?''

''My parents too...''

''You’re kidding, they’re like model parents of the yea-''

''They aren’t. They’re just human, they forgot, it’s a comprehendible mistake considering the situation I was in.''

Lex nodded mutely.

I glanced at my watch, ''I better go.''

Lex nodded as he watched me turn to leave.

''Are we not friends anymore?'' He whispered.

I paused, mid-stride, ''I’m still trying to figure that out.''

With that, I quietly exited the kitchen and headed to my next delivery destination.

***

During ‘The Big Mess’, I hadn’t visited Rene’s at all because my parents would monitor me at night. After Mrs. Mora left, I resumed my occasional nightly visits.

Rene was ecstatic to see me, she jumped up and down like a kid on Ritalin as I came in through the door one night. I told her about everything that happened. She would nod in concern and gasp in horror in the right moments. She was great for spilling my sorrows out to because she listened intently and had caring advice. Something that my parents used to do. The longer I spent with her, I realized that a lot of the Lana I created in my mind was modeled after her. Their responsive and understanding nature was so similar.

That night, I offered to help out since she always gave me so many free dinners. She played some Norah Jones on her small boom box as we washed the dishes, cleaned the floors, and wiped down the furniture in companionable silence.

We continued this routine until the end of July...

~~~

Meanwhile, during the day the waiters and I conspired to help Jane out. Luckily it came to us in the form of the Smallville town fair on August 27th. We talked, begged and bribed the organizers to fit Jane’s act in, at first they were extremely reluctant. However, when they heard Jane belt out one of her songs. They immediately made her the closing act without second thoughts.

Everything was going according to plan, except... except Jane wouldn’t sing without me playing the piano. Eventually, before I could even understand what was going, I was roped in to accompany Jane’s act. The times I took practicing my part took hours and eventually I had to tell Rene that I couldn’t come over until after the fair. She had smiled and told me to enjoy myself, but here eyes seemed a bit strange.

The fair started at 1:30pm with a few people, I had quietly wished that we were the first act. By the time the fair ended at 8pm, the entire fairground would be completely covered with people. During the free 5 hours I had in between, I helped my parents out at their organic booth which was always located near the ''Corn Husk Dolls'' stand.

Both Lex and Lana were there, every time I saw a glimpse of them, I snuck into the back or said I was going to the truck to get more produce.

To my relief, I never came into contact with them the entire time.

Now, I wasn’t going to be the only one on stage with Jane, there was going to be a band too. But at the same time, I still had the jitters, I never played in front of an audience before. I mean, I’ve only been playing the exact same five songs for a little more than a month and here were crowds of people watching Jane and I.

Mom and Dad’s booth closed around 7 and they entreated me to go to dinner with them. But I sort of shrugged and told them I was busy and had to go. Mom gave me that worried look again. The same one she had when she hired Mrs. Mora.

Jane’s act started at 7:30pm. I glanced over at Tommy, who was tuning his electric guitar. George, the sax player was moving his mouth, quietly memorizing the notes for the song. And then there were other guys there that I didn’t know, who were ambling around or changing their tuning.

Jane was right in back of the closed curtains and pacing back and forth in her shimmery midnight blue dress while her hands danced, like she was trying to exorcise her nervousness through the tips of her fingers. As she walked towards me again, I lightly grabbed onto her wrist and said, ''You’re an awesome singer Jane. You have nothing to worry about. Just forget about the audience and just enjoy the show.''

She looked unconvinced. So I continued, ''You know how we came up here earlier this morning and there was no one there. Just imagine that.''

Jane was smiling at me now and gave me a huge hug, ''Thanks hon, I’ll keep that in mind.''

And she did, because even seconds before the curtains came up, her hands were no longer shaking.

~~~

People look ridiculous when they gape like a fish. Friends and Family look even more ridiculous, especially if you’ve never seen them gape.

There were two songs I knew by heart, so I took the time to look out at the audience while Jane was singing her heart out.

I’ll have to say that Lex took the prize for most hilarious gaper. And as I played and watched him watch me, a flash danced through my mind and I imagined myself kissing him silly to close his mouth.

My cheeks stained red as I snapped out of my daydream and I shook my head to wash away the image. Luckily, most of the people were dancing to upbeat song that Jane was singing. So my head shaking didn’t come off as strange.

As slight flutter remained in my heart for the rest of the night.

~~~

On August 30th

I completely forgot about Lex...

I forgot about ‘The Big Mess’...

I forgot about Lana...

And I forgot about Jane...

Because on August 30, Rene died, she didn’t even go to a hospital because she couldn’t afford it. The cancer had eaten her inside, but she looked alright on the outside. It was so incredibly deceiving. If had known, I would have spent more time with her... But instead I was with Jane the entire time...

I didn’t even get to say goodbye.

When I had reached her, it was too late. Her face was covered by the coroner and her body was hours cold.

A numbness passed through me. I couldn’t save her with my powers... but at least I could have been there for her...

But I wasn’t and she died alone.

I was terrible friend.

~~~

I wandered aimlessly for a week, I ended up at Rene’s now closed restaurant several times.

If I concentrated really hard sometimes, I could see both of our shadows laughing as we danced with our mops as music streamed through the old cracked green radio by the bar.

Sometimes I walked to Jane’s. But someone else was now running Jane’s, because Jane got a record offer two days after her performance. I knew this was going to happen, I had hoped this was going to happen a long time back. But when it did happen, I felt betrayed and I resented the fact that she left.

I was friendless once more.

And on one strange September night, I ended up in front of Lex’s castle.

~~~

I made a mistake...

I kissed him and I kissed him hard because that’s all I could think of to do. I needed him not just a friend, not as brother. I wanted him like a lover that would give me the happiness I craved with every molecule. I put all of my love, my life into that kiss; hoping to wash away all the trespasses I had instilled upon him in the past. I was too idealistic and I wanted to stifle my grief with his compassion.

But god was so cruel. His lips stayed still and his body tense. I drew away, blinking rapidly, ‘This can’t be happening...’ He looked away from me, quiet and full of apology. ''I’m sorry,'' He whispered as he took a deep breath, trying to look calm, but failing miserably as his hand shook.

I looked down through the fuzzy glass that my unshed tears had created. I could barely make out anything. Anything but his slouched, retreating form. I was so wrong.

My entire soul seemed to give an anguished scream as the bottom of my stomach seemed to fill with stones of self doubt, anxiety, embarrassment... everything... everything dark, and hateful and so full of... lost hope.

That’s what it was... It seemed like now, everything was completely gone. I lost everything. Life seemed so meaningless at that moment because my hope had turned to ash and there was no phoenix. I had burned the fires for nothing.

A slow ache of acceptance coursed through every vein and touched every nerve. I could feel my emotions drain out completely and my insides hollow out. It was the numbness that got me out of Lex’s mansion without stumbling.

~~~~

I lay sobbing against the porcelain sink, on the ground, while crying as the leftover taste of various pills stayed on my tongue. My throat was sticky from the welled up torrent of emotions and my mind even stickier. I couldn’t keep a clear picture of anything in front of me, just blurs from tears that drowned me forever in an ocean of sorrow. I felt like I was sinking to the bottom of the river. I almost wished it.

And once more, I damn my uniqueness. I damn god from denying me this...blissful death. It should have been possible. It was possible to die... it was... Everything I wanted at the moment because I had been squeezed and spun in every direction. I needed escape.

I didn’t have anyone to turn. Anywhere to go...

***

Fortunately, I had cleaned up and made it out of the bathroom before mom and dad got home.

But they did find me lying on the ground staring into nothing. Mom became hysterical as dad lifted my heavy limp body and took me upstairs. I wasn’t totally out of it and I clung to him like I used to when I was five years old.

I heard dad give a sad and worried sigh as I buried my face into his shoulder and whisper, ''Papa...'' (what I used to call my dad before I was ten.)

He laid me gently onto my bed and sat down next to me, he looked resigned and tired. He didn’t pry about why I was lying on the floor. ''Is there anything I can get you son?''

I looked at my father and I think he saw how lost I was because at that moment he reach over to hug me while whispering, ''It’s going to be okay son. It’s going to be okay. We’ll help you through this if you let us. We’re family, let us help.''

I nodded against his shoulder as I started crying again.

As I eventually sobered, I sniffled a few times and wiped my swollen eyes. ''I made... this new friend over the summer.''

Dad nodded.

''Rene... You know...''

''The nice Italian restaurant.'' My mom finished as my dad nodded nodded. My mom was standing in the doorway, afraid to come in. I looked up at her and held my arm out. Mom smiled at this and sat down on the other side of me. She gave me a gentle hug and prompted me to continue.

''She had cancer and she... she d-d-died this week... And all those times I was so busy, I didn’t visit anymore. I should have been there, I was the only person she had. I- I didn’t want her to die alone...''

Mom hugged me again and didn’t say a word.

***
Even though I felt better as my parents began to treat me like they used to, without the frightened stares and the guilty glances, I still felt like hell. I felt like this gaping hole in my stomach would never go away.

Then one day...

Strangely enough, my salvation came in the form of Chloe’s mom.

Chloe’s mom, Shannon, came into town looking for Chloe and her father. She obviously hadn’t gotten news that Chloe and her father had moved back to Metropolis. Mrs. Sullivan had asked neighbors and Chloe’s classmates and somehow she was led to our house. She found me late in the evening, after dinner, after my parents had washed the dishes. I was sitting in the dark, on the bench swing on our porch, staring into the nothingness of the night.

''Are you Clark?'' She asked softly, her voice was as warm as the summer’s night, but with a hint of sadness.

I nodded and whispered, ''yeah...''

Mrs. Sullivan made her way up the stairs and towards me. ''Were you... friends with Chloe?''

I nodded again.

Mrs. Sullivan smiled and took another step closer. ''Do you mind if I sit?''

A short shrug answered her question and she took a seat next to me. Her dirty blond hair seemed a bit dull and faded, perhaps from age. I just looked –at- her without judgment or thought.

Mrs. Sullivan smiled, ''Do you know who I am?''

I shook my head, almost imperceptibly.

''My name is Shannon. I’m Chloe’s mother.'' She murmured. She seemed to say this like she was reading the lines of a book instead of something she knew by heart.

My eyes widened a bit and then sobered. ''Are you looking for Chloe?''

''Yes...I guess I am...'' Mrs. Sullivan gave a deep sigh, ''Maybe, I don’t know. I should... you know, visit her and her father. But it’s been so long. It just doesn’t feel right anymore.''

I know it was probably inappropriate to ask, but at that time, it seemed like it was necessary, ''Why did you leave?''

Mrs. Sullivan tilted her head side to side, trying to figure out the answer to that question too. ''Because it didn’t work anymore. No. It was...'' she paused. ''I didn’t marry Gabe because I loved him. I married him out of necessity. I couldn’t let my parents know that I didn’t ... I didn’t... like men. I loved Chloe very much, don’t get me wrong. But that wasn’t the life I wanted. I didn’t share Gabe’s vision of happiness. I felt like my role as a house wife was draining the life out of me. I had nowhere to go...''

I sat up a bit straighter as she echoed my words.

''It felt like a death sentence.'' She stopped and hesitated, ''I couldn’t take it anymore after a while. I kept trying to kill myself and I couldn’t because I remember that I had a beautiful little golden girl I would go home to.''

In the moonlight, I could see the reflection of tears streaming down her face. ''In the end, even Chloe wasn’t enough. One night, after I stopped myself from trying to commit suicide again, I made a promise to leave. I had to escape. I was suffocating... and ... I needed to get away. One morning, I just packed my bags, I took the bus to the airport and I left.''

I put a hand on her back and rubbed in circles. I didn’t realize that I had started to cry too until I tasted my own salty tears. I thought I was completely out of tears. I looked at Shannon, and she looked at me, and in that moment our situations clicked. We hugged each other hard as the both of us cried on each other’s shoulders.

Later that night, I told her everything that had happened.

She understood me because she had been through all that. I can’t possibly describe the weightlessness I felt as I unloaded my burden. It seemed like that morbid depression had stopped pressuring me.

Eventually, the soft cadence of our words mixed with the sounds of night help me drift off into sleep and into an endless dream.

In the morning, I found myself alone on the porch. But Shannon had left sometime after I slept. I glanced down at the cushion. At the impression she had left in the seat. And right where she sat, there was a letter.

*Dear Clark,*

*Thank you for listening to me and confiding in me. In a way, we’re kindred souls that are lost on the journey of life. I’m sorry for everything you’ve suffered and lost. I know it hurt so much when you lost Rene. But at the same times, she gave you a gift, a gift given through her death. The gift of life, the gift to cherish life.*

*As much as you think you lost or turned sour through your efforts. I’d like to at least let you know that, because of you, I will visit Chloe. I will mend our relationship. You have inspired me to make things right. Even if your summer seemed like lost hope, sorrow, and death... Even if you want to end it all right now, I can only ask you to choose ‘life’.*

*You’ve made a difference Clark. You’ve reunited our family. And even if it is only one thing. I’d like you to know that it goes a long way.*

*You can make a difference. You have a good heart and soul.*

*One day, when you finally understand life, when you embrace it and accept it, you shall be able to love it. And then the pain of death will fade into background. We will never truly forget anyone when they die, because we shall never forget our memories with them.*

*Through you Clark, Rene will live.*

*Love,*
*Shannon Sullivan*

I quietly refolded the crisp letter and placed it back into its envelope reverently. The gray blue morning sky indicated that it would be a wonderful morning. I walked down the porch and traced Shannon’s path until they stopped at where her car had been.

From here I looked down at the road and saw the sun rise up from the hills.

A ghost of Shannon’s voice seemed to come from the direction she had headed towards and it echoed in my mind for the rest of my life.

''You can make a difference.''

End.

more potter stuff

Sun, 08 Feb 2004 02:38:39 GMT

HP fic
Title: Forget
Summary: Snape is forced to forget the past, including being a wizard
There were moments he wished that he could tell David.

But Dumbledore had told him not to, David had to remember on his own accord. If the memories were truly too painful, then leave him be. However, looking at David now, as David looked up at the floating street magician in wonder; made Harry bite his tongue.

Harry had seen the outline of a wand in the street magician’s long sleeved shirt and the soft, almost inaudible murmur of ''Wingardium Leviosa'' coming from the street performer’s lips. If David had remembered, he would have made some scathing remark about the man’s disregard towards Wizarding rules and risking exposure of their world just to entertain some stupid Muggles.

David leaned over and whispered to Harry, ''I wonder how he does it.''

Harry bit his tongue harder until he could taste a faint trace of blood from biting too hard. It was damn irresistible when David asked such naïve questions... of course he wouldn’t have even said them if he recalled who he was... who he had been.

Harry shrugged and smiled nervously to his husband of four years, ''Must be a wire or mirrors or something...''

David raised a brow and scrutinized the floating man, ''I don’t think I see any wires and how can he carry around mirrors that big if he’s a street magician?''

Harry mentally damned David for still being as observant as he used to be.

''Why don’t you ask him?'' Harry prompted.

David smiled shyly and this shrugged. This was where David was different from who he used to be. In the past, David would have stalked up to the magician and demand that he reveal how he did his trick... well, but then, he wouldn’t even need to demand so because he would have recognized the rudimentary spell a mile away.

David gave a small smile and tugged on Harry’s blue windbreaker, ''Come on.''

Then David’s smile grew bigger as he tilted his head towards the special old merry-go- round, ''I want to steal some metal rings.''

Harry laughed. David was definitely more playful and mischievous now since he was more open. Harry put a possessive hand around David’s waist and walked over to the merry go round for a few rounds.

As they were waiting in line David carelessly hopped onto one of the metal rungs and sat on it. Harry grinned and followed suit. As the line moved up, they scooted down the metal dividers. Harry looked up and outward towards the ocean as the tangerine and cream pink sky intermingled with the violet night. The deep red sun shimmered as it slowly sank into the equally orangish-pink ocean. Harry nodded his head at the sunset, ''I wish I had my camera. That’s beautiful.''

David nodded in agreement, ''We should come here more often.''

Harry raised a brow and laughed at his husband, ''So you can steal more rings?''

David’s eyes widened innocently, but the faint blush on his cheeks gave him away. Harry laughed, ‘God he’s cute, he would have never done that before...’

The ride controller gestured to the next group of people and broke Harry of his thoughts.

The ride, as usually was very fun. It wasn’t any ordinary merry go round. There was ring dispenser on the side and as you passed it, you took a ring and then as you came around to the other side of the circle, you’d have to try to throw the ring into the target hole. Harry would always toss all his rings away in attempts to make one in. David, on the other hand would only throw in every other one and pocket the others while the ride controller wasn’t watching.

When the ride ended, Harry led David back onto the Boardwalk, the sky was slowly being consumed by the indigo nightfall. He glanced at David’s face, he looked healthy, lively and even had a slight tan from their day in Santa Cruz. Harry ran a hand through David’s silky midnight hair. David sighed contently and leaned towards Harry’s touch.

Harry whispered to David, ''Where should we have dinner luv?''

David looked adorable as he chewed on his bottom lip and considered the question, ''I don’t know... you decide?''

Harry quirked his mouth a little, David’s past self also would have never allowed Harry to outright decide. Harry’s hand slithered up and tangled into David’s ebony locks to pull him down into a kiss. The kiss was soft and tender and swept away the growing coldness of the evening. Eventually, the two of them pulled back with a content sigh.

David’s eyes were dark with soft passion. He leaned down and nuzzled Harry tenderly, ''What was that for?''

Harry smiled, ''...It’s just that... you looked so kissable at that moment.''

David’s ebony eyes twinkled. And Harry withdrew his wish from earlier, ‘No, If we can be this happy for the rest of our lives. I won’t tell him.’

Harry’s calloused fingers intertwined with David’s.

‘I still love Severus. But David is so happy, not knowing his past...If he remembered being Severus, would he still be so open? So tender?... Would he even love me? No, best not tell him...’

But there a flitter in the back of Harry’s mind, a quiet nagging, ‘But what if he manages to remember?’

Harry’s hand gave David a light squeeze. ‘I’ll deal with it... somehow...’

~~~~~~~~~

8 years ago

Harry shoved his hands into the pockets of his robes so that Severus wouldn’t see his hands shaking. But then, Severus was looking away, so he wouldn’t have seen anyways.

''I’m sorry.'' Harry repeated since Severus hadn’t answered.

Severus shrugged and spoke emotionlessly, ''It doesn’t matter Potter. What we had was only physical comfort.''

Harry sighed, he really didn’t want to break up with Severus, but tomorrow was the day, he just knew it. It was going to be the final confrontation with Voldemort, the big battle everyone had planned for months in secret. But... unexpected things might happen and he didn’t want Severus to be hurt for the rest of his life if Harry managed to fail and die. It was better to break it off now.

Harry was about to speak again, but Severus stopped him with a hand, ''Tomorrow we have a big day, go to sleep Potter, you of all people need your strength the most.''

Harry nodded and mutely exited Severus’s temporary room in the hideout.

~~~

(The next day, the end of the battle)

Harry panted weakly as he hunched over a little, immensely tired from casting the killing curse with McGonagall and Dumbledore. Harry glanced at the Headmaster and Deputy Headmistress, who were as winded as he was, and gave them a thumbs up. His two mentors gave him a weary and relieved smile. Harry then slowly straightened and looked across the field at Severus’s standing figure. Harry broke out into a silly grin. Now that neither of them would die, he would tell Severus how much he loved him.

With newfound energy, renewed with motivation, Harry walked around Voldemort’s ashes and bounded towards Severus.

But as he drew closer, something seemed off. Then Harry slowed down and stopped in front of his lover. Severus hadn’t moved... He didn’t even scowl and make a biting remark at Harry’s behavior, even after defeating Voldemort.

Severus just stood there, straight and still, as he look out with unfocused eyes that blinked every once in a while. Harry frowned, had someone hexed Severus?

Harry held out his wand and murmured, ''Finite Incantatem.''

Nothing happened. Severus remained still. Harry held out his hand and threw caution to the wind as he waved it in front of Severus’s face. The still man did blink, but not as a reaction to Harry’s waving.

Harry started to panic, something was very wrong. He turn around and called out to Dumbledore, who was more composed now and was rubbing Minerva’s back to soothe her nerves.

Dumbledore looked up, ''What’s wrong Harry?''

''It’s Severus!'' Harry yelled back across the field, ''There’s something wrong with him.''

Dumbledore and McGonagall looked at each other and slowly made their way over to Harry and Snape.

''He’s not moving.'' Harry whispered when they finally were standing next to him. Dumbledore shifted McGonagall slightly and Harry went over to help support her as Dumbledore moved to stand in front of Severus.

Then Dumbledore murmured a spell usually used by the doctors at St. Mungo’s to check whether a curse was placed on a patient. This was usually indicated by a soft blue glow from the area that the curse had hit.

But as the wand passed over Severus three times, there was no indication of any curse.

Harry’s brow drew together even more, ''What’s wrong with Severus?''

Dumbledore then turned to Harry with a very sad expression, the twinkle had gone out of his eyes. ''It seems that Severus.... is... ,as the Muggles put it, in a ‘catatonic state’.''

Harry face scrounged up, not really sure what it meant. Dumbledore explained further, ''It’s a sort of self induced coma. I’m not sure what caused it... But he’s just ‘shut down’ completely.''

Harry’s sight blurred, ''N – no... after all we went through... no, he can’t!''

Sensing Harry’s distress, Professor McGonagall took her weight off of Harry’s shoulder and stood on her own, allowing him to rush over to Severus.

''Wake up!'' Harry whispered insistently at first, but his voice grew higher and more desperate as he babbled and shook Severus to no avail.

His lover was completely lost to them.

~~~~

''It’s the best way Harry...'' Dumbledore told Harry quietly. But Harry stubbornly shook his head.

''The medi-witched already did a thorough check. His memories are causing him to shut down...'' Dumbledore explained. But seeing how unresponsive Harry was, he continued, ''I know you ended a relationship with Severus before the battle...''

Harry looked up at Dumbledore with wide eyes, ''How did you?''

Dumbledore sighed, ''I knew about the both of you for a while. And then before the battle, I noticed how... ‘off’ Severus was. I guessed what had happened.''

''Do you think it caused...''

The older wizard sighed. Harry was old enough and Albus realized that he shouldn’t shelter him anymore. ''It might have been one of the reasons... Once Voldemort was defeated, Severus would have had nothing left.''

''What do you mean?!'' Harry asked frantically.

''Severus’s teaching contract was until Voldemort was defeated. He never really enjoyed teaching that much... So he would have lost his teaching job. And I already had sent out for a new potions teacher next year. But then, during the war, Severus’s home was destroyed. Remember Ethen?''

Harry nodded, it was one of the battlegrounds they had fought at within the last month. It was also one of the most difficult places to fight since there was actually an entire village of wizards that still occupied the area. Many of the homes had been entirely obliterated.

Albus sighed and continued, ''And then you defeating Voldemort, which meant that he was no long a useful spy. Not to mention his reputation has always been rocky... He knew after Voldemort had died, he would have nothing left.''

''He.. but he...could have asked for help..'' Harry whispered.

Dumbledore shook his head, ''You know how Severus is.''

Tears started to run out of Harry’s eyes anew. He returned to Severus’s side and took his hand, ''I’m still here, see? Look, I still love you... oh god... please wake up.''

Harry’s pleading led into a soft helpless sob as he leaned his forehead against Severus’s unresponsive one.

Then Harry felt a wizened hand on his shoulder. Dumbledore looked older and more tired, ''Harry, please consider Severus. It’s no way to live a life in this state. Just let go, for now.''

Harry considered for a few more seconds and then nodded as he backed up. ''Are you going to completely Oblivate him?''

Albus gave a small smiled and shook his head, ''No, just a strong memory suppression spell. But I’m afraid that the wizarding world may be too close for him. And I think it may be best to send him into the Muggle world after we give him a clean slate. It’s quieter and simpler out there.''

''Will I be able to see him?''

Dumbledore nodded slowly, ''Give him some time first. I’ll let you see him a little later. But when you do, I don’t want you to tell him of his past. I want him to wake up on his own.''

Harry nodded and backed away. Everything seemed blurry after that and all he remembered was seeing Dumbledore murmur a spell and soft reddish light falling over Severus’s body.

~~~

(1 year later)

Harry had tried taking his mind off of Severus, he had tried to teach for a school year, but that ended terribly. He finally understood why Severus despised teaching so much.

Then he had tried out for Quidditch, but he wasn’t as good as before. Harry had built himself up for confronting Voldemort, so he had lost his leaner figure that allowed him to fly swiftly. Of course, the teams would have allowed for him to play because of his name, but his guilt of pushing out a better suited player would have never allowed him to take the offer.

So, he finally went to Dumbledore and asked what he should do with his life. And to his relief, Dumbledore had nodded and smiled, ''I think it’s time that Severus be reacquainted with an old friend, don’t you?''

If Harry hadn’t been conditioned by Severus’s past scathing remarks, he would have leaped up and whooped with joy. Instead he sat there beaming and tapping his foot, feeling his uncontrollable happiness nearly bursting forth from his chest.

After being informed of that news, Dumbledore started to fill in Harry about new life in the Muggle world.

~~~

David stretched slightly as he woke up, today was another big day. The arena was holding another big show. As the head of security, he had to organize the other security guards in the best position to prevent any possible ‘incidents’. He quickly showered, dried his hair and tied it, and changed into black pants and black suit (it was best to look as dark as possible so if he moved through the crowed during the show, he wouldn’t interrupt them as much). As he tied his deep crimson tie he ran over the positions in his head, ‘Jamie will be located at he south exits, Peterson at the B7 doors, Joey at the C3 doors...’

He then glanced at his watch, ‘7:43, good, I have time for a quick bite.’

He gave his tie a final tug into place and then smoothed it out. Then he grabbed a suitcase filled with papers, maps for the other security guards, and a multi-way headset for communicating with the other guards. He hummed an unidentifiable tune as he quickly looked through the sparse refrigerator and pulled out some orange juice and fruit.

As he ate, he reflected a bit, which was actually sort of routine for him. ‘I can’t believe it, only a year ago, I had woken up from a coma at Good Samaritan. Good thing my parents had quite some money saved up in the bank before the car accident.’

David looked down and sighed, he couldn’t believe he was actually ‘out’ for seven years. According to the records, he was on a trip down to L.A. with his parents when it happened. Not that he remembered. In fact, he didn’t even remember his name until the papers informed him. He had stayed at the hospital for physical and mental therapy for about a month. During that time, he had managed to purchase a new and small townhouse between the city and the suburbs since the bank had foreclosed on his parent’s house. Well, at least the bank had paid him a portion of the money his parents had paid for the house. And it was quite a hefty sum since it was about $750,000...But then the townhouse wasn’t that much cheaper either, god the bay area was expensive.

David popped the last slice of apple into this mouth, grabbed the suitcase, and keys to his used black truck.

‘show time...’

~~~~

Dumbledore had managed to get a house for Harry a few blocks down from Sev...David’s townhouse. And now, Harry was sitting at a bus stop bench across from S... David’s! place, waiting for him to come out.

And soon enough, he saw David dressed in a black suit and red tie, rushing out with a suitcase. Harry quickly put a hand over his mouth to keep from drooling. ‘Wow... he looks good in a suit...’

David, completely oblivious to his observer, tossed his suitcase in, and climbed up into the truck with ease and drove off. Harry gave a small sigh, ‘How am I supposed to start off making friend with him if I can barely resist jumping him now?!’

Harry shook his head, got up, and started walking back to his house.

Harry giggled quietly with David as the cuddled in the corner of the filled light rail car. Since the both of their homes were so close to the light rail station, they decided ride it until they reached the downtown transfer and then switch off to get on a Bart subway to Santa Cruz. The other people on the car barely noticed the two of them as they talked softly and gave each other the occasionally playful kiss.

David murmured something into Harry’s ear at then quickly licked the outer shell of Harry’s ear. Harry quickly held back a moan and then glared playfully at David. David looked around innocently, like nothing had happened. Then Harry stood up on his toes and whispered into David’s ear, ''Are you trying to make me come, right here in front of all these people?''

In the past Severus would have done something along snapping at Harry or denying such a thing. But instead, David whispered back, ''Kinky.'' which then led to Harry being totally flabbergasted.

David gave a warm laugh with his velvet voice and then pulled Harry into a long kiss...

That is, until an unidentifiable teenage voice from somewhere within the car called out, ''Hey you two! Get a room!''

David and Harry suddenly stopped kissing and started laughing from embarrassment as a few people glanced over at them.

David whispered, ''Later'' as he wrapped a firm hand around Harry’s waist.

~~~~
(6 years, 4 months ago)

The two of them finally met one day when David was coming back from a hard jog. He was covered in sweat

and that's all so far...

Harry Potter WIP

Sun, 08 Feb 2004 02:32:47 GMT

Title : (blank)
Summary: Voldemort takes over Snapes body and Harry runs away to learn more magic so he can fight the stronger Voldemort (it's supposed to be a HP/SS in the end... if i ever finish)

His mind screamed at him as he ran deeper and further into the woods.

‘You’re such a coward! Go back and fight’

''I can’t!'' Harry told himself, ''I don’t even have my wand. I have to get away, I have to go...If I’m too close I’m useless.''

‘You could at least go back to Hogwarts...’

But Harry quickly shot that thought down. He’d only be a liability...God, Albus hadn’t prepared him for this. He would have never thought that Voldemort would have enough energy left to try to claim a body after his current body was destroyed. He should have moved Snape away. But he had been weak. So weak that after he blacked out, he had had woken up tied down to the bed with chains and painful manacles.

Snape had hovered over him with red eyes instead of his usual onyx. He had tasted his flesh and seduced him into a rough coupling.

Harry’s cheeks were now flushed, whether it was from the memory or the wind bearing down on his face as his legs moved faster... he didn’t want to think about it.

For days, he had claimed Harry in all sorts of ways and Harry, having been deprived of love all his life, enthusiastically responded.

That is, until the bonding.

It was when Snape had sliced his palm in his sleep and press their hands together that Harry had become aware that Voldemort was still very present in Snape’s body. The thing was only waiting, and gathering strength. And it knew that once it had renewed its strength, his power combined with Snape’s would be nearly enough to ultimately destroy Dumbledore.

From then on, Harry had felt fear and tried to wrench away whenever Snape touched him. But his food was drugged with a sort of Imperius potion that wasn’t shakable, making him susceptible to the soothing and lusty words that flowed out of Snape’s purring tongue. And his own body would melt into the words and allowed Snape to play with his malleable body for hours

As the seasons entered late spring, it seemed like Harry would be trapped like this for as long as Snape desired. Then one day, the Aurors suddenly appeared out of nowhere and found a way to raid the castle. Harry had been ecstatic as he watched the battle outside and prayed that one of them would find a ways up to his room. And just as he wished, one of them had found Harry. But as he was about to lead Harry out of the castle a Death Eater had unexpectedly come out of nowhere started after them.

In the confusion of trying to get away and the hexes being thrown in random direction, they were separated. Harry wasn’t even sure how he got to the woods, but he did and he ran as hard as he could until he found a sort of cave etched into the corner of a bluff and hid there to regain his strength.

And that’s how he started running. He doesn’t keep track of the days anymore. It’s been a while, definitely over two week. He vowed to stay away from nearby cities, both wizarding and muggle, until he was sure he was far away enough that no one would ever recognize him.

He had actually passed through the outer skirts of the Forbidden Forest at one point, he could tell from the eerie magic which defined the Forbidden Forest. Harry had made sure not to near, he was still unsure of the layout of the forest and it would have been unwise to make himself a target to unfriendly magical creatures. He had stayed in that area longer than he would have like, battling whether he should head to Hogwarts, but finally he reasoned that his bond with Snape could ruin everything the Order worked for and promptly left before he could be tempted again.

Along his journey, he had mostly traveled only on barefoot and managed to stab himself a few times on sharp rocks and jutting twigs he didn’t see on the road. One of his sleeves had been torn off to staunch the bleeding and try to mask the smell of blood from predators. Unfortunately, it couldn’t keep away the bugs and sometimes he got bitten in the night by ants, mosquitoes, and beetles. Eventually his feet had become more calloused and more difficult to penetrate, but the earlier wounds would still get infected sometimes and itch like crazy.

Luckily for him, he had found a few cottages scattered about through random forests. He thanked whoever was looking over him and went into the cottages to nick some food and clothes. He really hoped that the owners would forgive him but he really needed this now. At each house would take a loaf or two of bread and a small slice of cheese. As for the other things, he nicked a dirty brown jeans jacket he had seen hanging in the shed with nonuse, a hair band to tie away the long hair that had managed to grow out to shoulder length, and sports water bottle. And finally at the most recent house, he had met a nice old Muggle lady who offered to let him flood, shelter, a new long sleeve shirt that could be tied at the elbows, brown animal hide pants, and a pair of boots that her husband had used to wear. Harry had graciously thanked her and promised that he would come back and visit her.

Harry stopped and stared out at the open fields and the ocean in the distance. The lovely blue water beckoned him and he headed towards, curious as to what he would find. He

There was a small village along the coast, and they were mainly consisting of fishermen. The myriad of boats and docks seemed to stretch forever down the coast as a few fishermen came back with their morning catch.

''I need more men for the ship, it won’t be too long Annie, just let me borrow Gordon for a day and we’ll be back.'' One of the fishermen said as he pleaded to a tall cold lady.

''No.'' the woman named Annie replied, ''Gordon has a test tomorrow. A trip to France will distract him from his studies. Go find someone else.''

''It’s just a short trip. We’ll be back at the end of the day. I just need to run an errand! But I also need someone to adjust the sails as I steer the boat!''

''You already know my answer Brian. I won’t be swayed. Good day.'' Annie said curtly and turned around to head back towards the village.

Brian gave a dejected sigh as he looked down at the package he was holding. Suddenly, to Harry, it seemed the destiny had dropped the perfect opportunity in his lap. He needed to get as far away from Snape and this was the perfect way to do it, nothing like putting a whole sea between them to weaken the bond.

''Sir!'' Harry called out as he ran down the docks with a small blue bag made from a handkerchief in his hand.

Brian looked up, ''Eh?''

''I sort of overheard you need an extra person to help out... Uh... I don’t know too much about ships, but I’m willing to help, if you’ll explain to me what has to be done.''

Brain’s downtrodden face suddenly lit up, ''Yes! You’re willing to help me out?''

''Well, yes, but actually, I want to go to France, so I’m afraid you’ll be without a person on the way back...'' Harry said, unsure.

Brain waved a hand, ''Oh it’s okay, I heard on the report that the winds will settle down my evenin’, it’s just really blustery and unpredictable right now so I need someone to take care of the sails.''

''Okay then. Shall we go?'' Harry responded eagerly and followed the man to his boat.

~~~

''It’s so nice here.'' Harry thought to himself as he wandered along the rolling sea of grass in the French countryside. The wind blew warm air across his face and the clouds danced by as he adjusted the stick on his shoulder.

He had recalled seeing from a children’s book when he was little that they used to attach a bag at the end of a stick and prop the stick against their shoulders as they walked. It was a wonderfully idea and the bag didn’t seem so heavy now.

He had managed to steal a little more food, not too much since he had learned how to ration pretty well and anyways it was just the bottle of water that was making his load heavy. In the distance he spotted a creek and dashed down the hill to take a much needed bath.

Later as he bathed, he wondered where Beaubaxton and Durmstrang were located. Not that he’d visit them, he was just curious is all.

As Harry enjoyed the rest of his day walking further east, he felt guilty and could almost sense it trying to tug him back home to go back into the fray of the fight. But what could he do? He didn’t have a wand, he was bonded to the monster so that he probably couldn’t kill it... not that he could bring himself to kill Snape. As much as he hated the Potions Master now... he still admitted that he did develop feeling for him during his seventh year and he deeply respected the man after working so hard with him for the Order.

‘I have to break this bond. If I’m hindered by these emotions and Voldemort can use it to sway my judgment, I’ll be of no use. Not to mention he’ll be nearly or equally as strong as Albus. As bad as Voldemort was, he still could not have compared to Albus... but now... I need to also find a way to get better at magic... far better. But not at the wizarding schools though... I need to find someone who can teach me this...’

With a new intent in mind, Harry set off to find the nearest wizarding village in hopes of trying to figure who was powerful enough to get him where he needed to be.

~~~

(7 years later)

''Are you sure now is a good time to return?'' Yaven asked as she sat next to Harry at the edge of the pond. Harry turned to her and started at her with violet colored eyes and nodded.

''Now is a key moment.'' Harry murmured as he turned his head back to facing the pond and swished his long ponytail as he did so. He had never gotten around to cutting it over the years and he found it useful while fighting, so instead he it allowed to grow very long and tied it up with a ribbon into a high ponytail.

Yaven tsked quietly, ''Have you been peeking again?''

Harry allowed a small embarrassed smile and then he winked at the high priestess. Yaven rolled her eyes and then started to stand as she brushed off the dust from her iridescent white dress. When he first met Yaven, he certainly hadn’t expected a priestess. He had expected a warrior type who would leap and jumps and be able to do all sorts of impressive flips. But Yaven had taught him that the level magic he wanted to reach, in fact did not require much moving at all, if you were good enough, you could stop any spell or divert it, even an Avada Kevadra.

Yaven cleared her throat, snapping Harry away from his thoughts, and then she beckoned him to follow her into the temple. Harry stood up and straightened his blue colored sleeveless coat that reached his upper thighs, underneath he wore a simple charcoal grey shirt and pants and on his feet were soft black boots that only reached up to his ankles

Harry followed her into the temple and walked towards the fountain as she reached in and magically pulled out glowing amulet, ''Just in case you want to visit afterwards.''

Harry nodded, ''Of course I’ll visit.''

''Then go Harry, I hope you get there in time.''

''Aren’t you going to wish me luck?''

Yaven gave a soft and warm laugh, ''Why would you even need luck?''

Harry shrugged, ''I guess I don’t. We’ll wish me a good journey at least?''

Yaven nodded, ''I wish you a good journey, now go.''

Harry waved to Yaven as he walked out of the temple and disappeared into the wind without a trace and without a sound.

~~~

For nearly five years Harry had worked with Yaven he worked with blood, sweat, and tears. But he never seemed to be able to come close to overcoming the priestess. At some point he was positive that he was just as powerful as Albus, but Yaven was still untouchable. He wasn’t even sure how she did it at first. But as she showed him more and taught him more about the balance of nature, the more his mind opened to the real magic working under the surface. And it was when he finally understood how the entire cycle worked was he able to break through that glass barrier and ascend to beyond.

It was when he finally beat her that she took him into the secret room under the magical fountain in the temple and gave him ‘the Gift’. ‘The Gift’ was the ability to reach out to matter and pure magic. He was able to reach every molecule, every particle and ask for their assistance in accomplishing anything he wanted. Nature was surprisingly pliant when asked for assistance and it didn’t try to resist like is usually did when you tried to control it like most wizards did. It felt a smooth current that reached through his body and did as he wanted. And actually he didn’t even need to say anything or use anything, he himself had become the channel in controlling magic

As he figured out how to move and control things, he also noticed the rest of the world, the tiny sparkles of life and power flowing through everything, like golden butterflies surrounding the world. It was like giving him a new sight. When he had asked Yaven about seeing these things, she had smiled mysteriously and said, ''Your control of magic isn’t the only thing different.''

It wasn’t until he took a bath later that he noticed something was different with himself. As he stared into the water, he noticed that his mother’s green eyes no longer looked back at him, instead a bluish purple looking color had replaced the hazel green. It was one of things with his change that he wasn’t happy about. The only good thing about his new eyes was that he was no longer near sighted.

As Yaven helps him adjust to ‘The Gift’, she also revealed that he could now access and see more things, not just the butterflies.

He realized this one day when he saw Yaven by the pond talking with a man with enormous majestic white wings. He looked very old and worn, but he still looked strong and clear minded. It was when the angel noticed Harry staring that he raised his voice so Harry could hear, ''Ah, so the young one can see us now.''

Yaven nodded and also adjusted her volume, ''Yes, but he’s still in training.''

The end of Yaven’s words were emphasized and Harry noticed that the angel’s brows rose when she said this. The angel murmured, ''So he’s not...''

''No, not yet.'' Yaven replied firmly. Then she tilted her head a little and indicated for Harry to come over to them.

Yaven held her hand out and pointed over to the angel, ''Harry, this is Metatron, a good friend of mine.''

Harry’s quickly held his hands out and shook Metatron’s hands, ''Hello sir.''

Metatron gave Harry a tired, but satisfied smile, ''He’s good, this one, I can only hope my replacement is as strong.''

Harry looked confused, ''Replacement?''

Yaven shot Metatron a dirty look and mouthed at him, ‘not yet’.

Metatron looked abashed and shrugged, ''Yeah, I’m getting old. You see it’s a myth that all angels and deities stay around forever. Even God looks for a mortal replacement when he feels that he’s had enough. As you can see, I’m getting very tired of my role, I’ve been around since the 1700s and that’s longer than anyone else, even the current God...So, I’m about ready to retire...And I miss my Sarah...she was my wife before I became Metatron.''

Harry gave Metatron a sad smile, ''I hope you get to see her soon.''

Metatron smiled and nodded, ''Yup, I shall when I find a suitable replacement. Ugh... I’ve just had such a hard time moving around lately, my wings are what they used to be.''

''I could help,'' Harry offered but Metatron held a hand up.

''You’ve got important things coming up in the future, take care of that first and then maybe we’ll talk.''

Harry nodded as he smiled. Then three different colored lights came over and hovered around Metatron’s head, ''Whoops, I’ve been here quite a while. I gotta get back. Nice talking to you Harry and Yaven. I’ll you both sometime.''

Harry waved to the elderly angel as he ascended into the sky and then disappeared.

~~~

The Auror had started out looking formidable with their large number due to the new influx of recruits. But the Death Eaters had also trained long and hard. They had underestimated the group.

Ron, and his partner, Draco, had been knocked off of their brooms near the beginning of the fight and were currently on the ground fighting it out one on one with the Death Eaters. They were currently breathing erratically as they stood back to back with their wands poised.

Dean and Seamus were hovering overhead and helping to watch the backs of their old classmates.

''Hey Weez,'' Draco said between harsh pants, ''You think my dad’s here?''

Ron’s eyes flickered back for a second, ''Probably in the battle, donno if he’s here.''

''Hey, if you see the bastard, tell me, I want a shot at the old man.''

''Still bitter?'' Ron teased.

''Wouldn’t you be?'' Draco said as he hexed a Death Eater that tried to lunge at him.

''Yeah,'' Ron nodded. Then he turned to the right and petrified another Death Eater before it could finish his complex curse.

The two of them continued to shoot hexes and a few Avada Kevadras as they went through the circle of Death Eaters around them.

Suddenly an enormous hit struck Ron from the right and flung him away from Draco. Draco quickly turned towards the direction of the energy ball and saw Snape. Well, sort of, as Voldemort had found a way to take over Snape more, he had continuously taken potions and other things to ‘enhance’ him. His eyes were red and snakelike, his hands were no longer humanlike, instead they were like claws and he had a thick reptile like tail sticking out of his robes. He looked even more like a snake than Voldemort had.

Draco shivered at the sight of his old potion’s professor and mentally cursed Voldemort for doing this to a man he had admired so much while growing up. But as much as he liked Snape, it wouldn’t keep him from doing the necessary, like killing him if it meant getting rid of Voldemort.

During the time Voldemort had fallen and Snape-Voldemort had taken his place, the wizarding world had changed drastically, Snape-Voldemort no longer held back, as soon as he was strong enough, he attacked the Ministry with something that resembled a what a muggled called blitz attack. The Ministry had been taken out within an hour; it was only luck that had kept Arthur Weasley home sick with the flu that week. Draco had recalled how pale his wife, Ginny, had turned when she heard what happened to the Ministry and called home fast as she could. She had been relieve to find her father okay, but the scare was still bad enough to make her shaky most of the day.

After the Ministry, they took out various wizarding at random, never creating a pattern they could predict. And since they had no spy for them this time, cities fell faster and more unexpectedly than in the first or second war. Diagon Alley wasn’t what it used to be, the Gringotts bank had been taken over by Death Eaters and cleaned out. The area had been completely destroyed and now all there where were crumbled building and ashes.

One the few places that had been able to hold off attack was Hogsmeade because Hogwarts was so close and the professors were quick to respond to any sort of attack. However even though Hogsmeade wasn’t attacked, it had also changed, the stores were mostly boarded up in the windows and there were only a few shoppers out and about. And even they moved quickly in groups from store to store. It was a sad sight to see.

‘If only Potter hadn’t run away!’ Draco snarled inwardly as he quickly backed away from the Dark Lord, he wasn’t stupid enough to face the man alone. Even Dumbledore looked worse for ware the last time he and the Dark Lord had faced off.

Voldemort hardly even gave Draco a look as he muttered a curse and flung Draco into the dark recesses of the forest.

Unfortunately for Draco as he was forced back through the air, his arm managed to get clipped by a thick trunk and he gritted his teeth in pain as it broke his arm with a sicken snap. When Draco finally hit the ground again, he weakly pulled himself behind a large rock he had landed next to and hid behind it.

‘Damn...’ Draco thought to himself, ‘Where’s Ron?’

Draco frantically tried to look around the rock, but saw no sign of his partner and brother in law.

‘Dammit Ron.’ Draco thought. After Harry had disappeared, Ron had been convinced that Harry had died in before the Aurors got to him. So he felt obligated to join the Auror to avenge his friend. But Draco had known better and he had evidence too that Harry had run off. Before Draco had full out been disowned by his father, he recalled seeing the man coming home looking worse for wear because the Dark Lord had been in livid mood. He recalled the old man muttering about, ''Damn Potter broke the bond...''

It was then Draco knew Harry was alive and as much as he tried to convince Ron of this, he refuse to believe it and kept saying that Lucius was delusional at the time. Unfortunately Draco had nothing to argue against that since his father’s actions after Snape-Voldemort had taken over definitely questioned his sanity.

Draco tried to hold his broken arm without jarring it much and prayed that Ron would be okay.

~~~~

Ron winced as he tried to crawl away from the Death Eater that was gaining on him smugly with his wand held up. The blast from Voldemort had managed to break his leg to the point that he could see the bone sticking out. And his arm had been dislocated when he fell. Ron felt like he wanted to scream or cry as he desperately tried to move his deadweight with his left arm.

Then suddenly the Death Eater was right in front of him with his arm up. The white masked figure said smugly, ''Prepare to die boy. Avada Kevadra!''

~~~

Draco felt his heart freeze up as he heard the words and the killing curse echo from the direction Ron had been blasted to.

''Oh God no.'' Draco said as he covered his mouth.

At first he considered going over to see if he could retrieve Ron’s body and bring it back for Hermione, but as he heard the rapid thumps of footsteps approaching, he knew he couldn’t make if he tried.

Draco then gathered all his remaining strength and Apparated to the Weasley’s household where Hermione was waiting.

~~~
Hermione was the first to hear the loud pop because she was in the library and someone had apparated in. She quickly took out her wand and prepared the face in the intruder, but when she cause sight of the blonde-silver hair and Auror robes, she knew it was Draco and immediately rushed to his side while calling out to Ginny.

Hermione quickly cradled Draco as he breathed erratically from exertion, ''Ron...*gasp* I’m...I’m sorry Hermione.''

Then Draco closed his eyes and passed out.

~~~
A few moments later, Hermione was sobbing and almost silently screaming as Dumbledore tried to comfort her.

The rest of the Weasley clan was crying just as badly, especially Molly who had feared this ever since Ron had joined the Aurors.

Draco was still unconscious and Ginny was holding him quietly as Madam Pomfrey healed his broken arm.

~~~

Ron cringed and got ready to feel the blast of the Unforgivable. But it never came.

There was a man standing in front of him and Ron though, ‘No! You wasted your life! I can’t run. He’s just going to kill us both!’

But the person didn’t fall, instead he grabbed the hand of the Death Eater and the man fell over and died.

Ron gaped as he watched the lifeless being in the black cloak, ''H-how?''

The person turned around, his black hair swished as he did so, ''I’ll explain later.''

Then Ron felt himself lifted into the air as his leg was someone supported so it wouldn’t be jarred too badly. The man looked down at Ron’s limp arm, ''I should take you to St. Mungo’s.''

Ron snorted, ''Where have you been mate? St. Mungo’s was destroyed two years ago when there was an attack on the wizarding part of London.''

The man said softly, ''Oh, I didn’t know. I’ve been away for a long time.''

''It’s okay, just take me to Hogwarts, I’ll get fixed up my Pomfrey.''

''I can fix your arm, I just don’t have anything to numb the pain.'' The man murmured as his violet eyes studied the injured arm.

''No, please don’t I’m fine.'' Ron said to the man even though his arm really hurt.

The man nodded, as he raised the arm, as if to also support it like he did with the leg. Then suddenly his hands made a quick jerking motion.

Ron was let out a scream, but the man’s hand moved in a circle around his mouth and he saw that his scream had somehow been absorbed because there was no sound.

The man smirked at Ron as he held a hand over the joint and spread of warmth went through Ron’s shoulder. Ron let out a relieved sigh as the pain faded away.

''There, better?'' the man said.

Ron raised a brow and then nodded. The man looked down at Ron’s broken leg, ''Unfortunately your leg is a lot trickier, I’ll have to take you to Hogwarts anyways. With your bones splintered like that, we can afford the mistake of getting any of the pieces into your bloodstream.''

Then the man mutely made cupping motion around Ron’s leg, ''That’s just so the broken bones can’t get into your blood.''

Ron gave the man a confused look as he realized he wasn’t wearing Auror robes, ''Who? What are you doing here?''

The man smiled, ''I’m just here to help. I’ll tell you later okay? Now, I need you to trust me, I’m going to get us both to Hogwarts. If you feel a strange shift and then flying feeling, just go along with the currently, you’ll be fine.''

Then the man took Ron’s left uninjured wrist in his hand and disappeared into the air like before.

~~~

Ron gasped when he saw they had apparated –well, sort of- to the front of the Hogwart’s main entrance, ''How? You can’t apparate onto the grounds!''

The man smiled, ''I didn’t apparate. Did that feel like apparating to you?''

''No, I felt bloody weird.'' Ron muttered, still lying down and floating midair. ''Oh I’ll ask later, just get me to the hospital wing.

The man nodded and opened the front gates without even a key, Ron was going to ask about this too, but he kept his mouth shut, the guy said he’d explain, he better. He just bypassed two of Hogwart’s greatest defenses without any effort.

When Ron finally floated into the hospital wing, he was a bit surprised because he realized the guy never asked where it was and managed to get here without making any wrong detours.

The man quickly levitated Ron over to a hospital bed it the center of the room and looked around, ''Where’s Madam Pomfrey?''

Ron turn his head and looked around, ''I donno, she’s supposed to be here.''

''Do you want me to go out and look around?''

''Could you?'' Ron asked. The pain in his legs was starting to make him dizzy.

The man nodded and dashed out of the hospital wing.

~~~

''Oh I forgot to bring along a Pepper-Up potion to wake him.'' Madam Pomfrey said after she healed Draco.

''Why don’t you go back and get it Poppy,'' Dumbledore said, still sitting next to Hermione and rubbing her back in soothing circles, ''We need to know what happened.''

Poppy nodded and then headed over to the fireplace to floo over to Hogwarts.

~~~

''Madam Pomfrey?!'' Someone called down the hall as Poppy made her way towards the hospital wing to retrieve her supplies.

Poppy turned around suddenly at the unfamiliar voice, a part of her mind told her to be wary thanks to the paranoia Voldemort’s third attack had instilled in everyone.

''How did you get in here?'' Poppy said as she glared down at the young man as he approached her. But when she saw that he had no wand in his hand, her uneasiness went away a little. I could be just a visitor for Albus.

The young man shook his head, ''No time, Someone in the hospital. He needs help.''

Poppy’s eyes widened and she quickly ran down to the hospital with the young man trailing after her. When she finally reached the hospital she suddenly saw the distinguished red of a Weasley.

''Ron!'' Poppy yelled out as she ran over to the red-haired Auror, ''Draco said you were dead!''

Ron looked unable to answer her, ''Uh, I don...I donno. This guy here saved me. So I guess I’m not... dead. But my leg is making me wish I was.''

Poppy then noticed the grotesque wound on Ron’s leg and quickly went about to get supplies to heal it.

The nameless man stood there helplessly as he watched Poppy bustle about, ''Is there anything I can do?''

Poppy jumped as she remember the young man, she had been so relieved with Ron’s alive state and wound that she had forgotten about him.

''Oh! Uh... Get a basing and some warm water, we need to clean the drying surface blood so I can operate. I’ll have you do some other things. This’ll be very difficult because it broke away completely and we have to keep the bone shards from getting – ''

''Into the bloodstream.'' Ron finished for her. Poppy gave him a bewildered look.

Ron shrugged, ''H-he did something... some sort of spell that’s keeping that from happening.''

Poppy turned to the young man, ''Are you a healer?''

''No no...'' the ebony haired man said quickly, I just know a little stuff here and there.

''Oh, well, it’s okay, your intuition had proven well enough. Now hurry and get the things I mentioned earlier.

The young man nodded and headed off to get the supplies.

~~~

After Poppy hadn’t shown up in half an hour, Albus had started to get worried. Something must have happened. She should have been back in less than ten minutes.

''We should check up on her.'' Ginny said as she rubbed away her tear tracks.

Dumbledore nodded, ''Yes, I fear something must have happened. Perhaps you should also bring along your husband.''

Ginny nodded. Then she looked around at the rest of her family, ''Why don’t we all come? Just in case Draco does wake up there and can explain things.''

Dumbledore, the Weasleys, and Hermione nodded. Soon they all flooed into the Headmaster’s office and headed towards the hospital.

~~~

''I need some more numbing potion!'' Poppy called out, ''Oh! And some more towels, he’s bleeding far too much!''

The nameless man nodded and quickly made his was around the mess of bloody towels, a tray of potions and blood covered instruments. He headed towards the cupboard and found another pile of towels, filled another basin with clean water and dashed back to Poppy’s side.

''Okay, I need you to soak up as much blood as you can and then do a spell to prevent the blood from flowing back into the opening for a few seconds.''

He quickly soaked out the blood and did quietly put a blood pressure spell on the leg. Poppy was about to jump back in surprise because the young man had just done a complex spell without a wand or words, but she knew now wasn’t the time to question this and quickly went to set Ron’s bones back together.

When this was done, Poppy went over to get a Potion and poured it onto the bone and it slowly healed until it was a single bone again. Then Poppy motioned to the young man that he could stop the spell and then she started to stitch up Ron’s leg.

At that moment the Weasleys came in and gasped as the sight of blood all over the hospital wing.

''Poppy! What happened?'' Dumbledore said with much concern in his voice.

''Not now Albus, I still need to stitch up Mr. Weasley’s leg.'' Poppy muttered as wiped the slippery crimson from her fingers and had a better grip on the needle.

''W-Wea...'' Hermione said and then dashed forward as she pulled away the curtain and let out a happy shriek as she hugged her husband.

''Hey love.'' Ron said weakly as he kissed her cheek. The operation had been very trying and the loss of blood made him tired enough to keep him mute throughout the entire operation. Hermione sobbed into his soft auburn hair, ''Oh god I thought I lost you...''

''I’m still here ‘Mione.'' Ron said softly and kissed Hermione’s tears, ''Don’t cry love, I’m okay. Look Poppy fixed me all up. Even my leg is better.''

By then the rest of the Weasley Clan surrounded Ron’s bed, save for Ginny who had put Draco on the bed next to Ron’s and sat in a chair between the both of them. Then after Poppy finished her stitching, the Weasleys all hugs Ron and told him how worried they had been.

As the Weasleys talked to Ron, Madam Pomfrey got the Pepper-Up potion for Draco.
Meanwhile, the young man stood quietly by the sink on the other side of the room and watched the reunion. He did feel a bit of envy and longing, but in a way he knew that he couldn’t and shouldn’t even expect so much because after all he did run away, even if it was for a good reason. Perhaps now was the only time he could see and watch them so open and so happy together before they realized who he was. He knew they were going to figure it out soon. Especially from the suspicious and curious looks Albus kept directing at him when the Weasleys weren’t looking.

~~~

''Now that Draco has been woken up, perhaps we can get an explanation as to what happened.'' Dumbledore declared as he watched the blonde groggily scoot back and sit against his pillow. While Draco did this, he kept glancing over at Ron with disbelief in his eyes.

''You’re not dead! You got away!'' Draco exclaimed quietly as he stared at Ron.

''A bit overdramatic aren’t you Draco?'' Ron laughed quietly.

''Look I heard that Death Eater and I know I heard the Avada Kevadra.''

''You didn’t think I’d run away before he hit me?''

''You were hit pretty badly by Voldemort.'' Draco said with gravity in his voice.

Then Ron stopped joking around and nodded, ''Yeah, hence the blood. You were right though... I didn’t... I wasn’t able to run away from the killing curse the guy threw at me.''

''Then how...?'' Hermione now asked, not daring to finish the sentence.

Ron looked up and across the room at the young man in blue and dark grey, ''Him. He stood in front of me when the Death Eater threw the curse. I thought...he...''

Then Ron stopped addressing the man as if he wasn’t there, he wanted his answers now, '' ‘I’ thought you were dead. But then you did something and the Death Eater died instead. I doesn’t makes sense, you didn’t have a wand and I know that killing curse was directed at me, there’s no way you could have stopped it.''

The man was quiet so Ron continued, sounding a bit more accusing now.

''Then you heal my arm and then do some really weird sort of apparation that I’ve never felt before and end up inside the Hogwart’s anti-apparation wards. And to top it off, you open the door to the castle without a key or anything. I was positive that only the Headmaster, Headmistress, and Hagrid have the key to open it from the outside.''

As Ron mentioned these last parts, Albus paled at the realization that all of his wards had been bypassed by this young man who seemed to come out of nowhere. Or was he from nowhere? There was something about how he looked which seemed too familiar and yet his eyes and hair were very ‘off’. He seemed quiet, introverted and if Albus had not been so alert to everything that happened in Hogwarts, he may not have ever notice the young man.

''Why don’t you join us?'' Dumbledore said amiably as he motioned for the nameless man to come over.

The young man did so and walked over without making a sound. Yes, Albus may not have ever noticed his presence. His magical aura and normal was practically invisible, like it was faded into the rest of the room. Sure Muggles didn’t have a magical aura, but at least their normal aura was seeable. But this young man... it’s as if he didn’t exist.

''Would you like to tell us your name?'' Dumbledore asked.

The young man shrugged, ''Would you believe me if I told you my name?''

''Why would we doubt your name?''

''Because it’s a highly improbable name, one you won’t expect and you’ll be skeptical of...'' The young man trailed off as Albus narrowed his eyes behind his spectacles.

If he was saying his name would be doubted and looked so much like...

''Harry is that you?'' Dumbledore whispered. But it was loud enough that it seemed to echo throughout the silent room. There were few gasps and lots of gaping from the group.

Harry gave a small smile and nodded, ''Yeah, I knew you’d figure it out.''

''Where have you been all this time.''

''Away. Getting better at magic... You know, so I can fight Voldemort. Again.'' Harry said with a small shrug. Killing Voldemort had become his job. In fact, it was still his job even after his mortal life. He must have done something in his past life to that jerk in order to be stuck with him in such a miserable way.

''Are you sure Harry?'' Ron and asked. ''You just g-got back, you can’t get yourself killed soon!''

Harry looked down at Ron and then at Hermione who looked like she agreed with him, ''You aren’t mad I ran away?''

Ron shrugged, ''I guess... I bit, but it was for a good reason right? To ‘off’ the bloody prick.''

''Well...''

''You were expecting yelling and reprimanding?'' Hermione asked quietly

Harry nodded and she rolled her eyes, ''We’re not the kids you remember Harry. We’ve been through a lot... Look, even if we were made, we’d get over it because our best friend is back right?''

Harry grinned, ''Yeah...''

''I knew you weren’t dead.'' Draco suddenly cut in and everyone turned to look at him.

Harry raised a brow, ''How’s that?''

''Like I kept telling Weez, my father came back one night muttering about you and a bond being broken. He had just come back from a meeting with Voldemort all beaten up. I figured you did something to piss off his-royal-pain-in-the-ass.'' Draco said cockily.

Harry snickered, ''Weez?''

''I have my reasons.''

''Yeah Drakie.'' Ron called from his bed.

''Shut up Weez.'' Draco muttered, but before he continued with a diatribe, Ginny took his hand into her and shook her head as she smiled. Harry managed a quiet smile, but inside he felt a pang of hurt, it looked like Draco had replaced him in the trio since his disappearance, not that it was unexpected...

more Clex WIP

Sun, 08 Feb 2004 02:26:20 GMT

Title: Rataawlen
Summary: Myst (the game) crossover. like "Coming Home" it's another fic about how Lex avoided being electroshocked.

His breathing echoed loudly in the small room in the back of the lab. The sharp gasps of air became erratic as his hands came up and clutched his flaming red hair. He squeezed his pure blue eyes shut in pain as he let out a soft whimper.

He wasn’t supposed to be here, it was all wrong. He was supposed to be gone forever and live out his life in Rataawlen, peacefully, without obligations and make a difference through his Guild works. But now, he was unwillingly pulled back once more.

Lex’s fingers trembled in the fingerless gloves as he felt the madness skirt around the edge of his mind. The reminder that he had been sent back onto the malevolent path that destiny had set him on since he was born.

Suddenly the glass of water and ceramic bowl on the other side of the room shattered and spilled their contents onto the floor.

~~~
(flashback)

''It’s amazing!'' One of the researchers gushed as he pushed his thick square glassed higher on the bridge of his nose and then rushed over to the table. He was actually one of Lex’s favorite researchers and was one of the only scientists in Cadmus Labs that Lex had befriended.

There was a glass box on the table with an old rustic book with leather binding on it. Surrounding the glass box, there were readouts and calculations scattered haphazardly.

Lex looked down at the man and frowned in confusion, ''Where do you say you found this again?''

''I didn’t find it.'' The man started with a slightly disappointed tone, ''Edwin found it on his trip to Germany.''

''Edwin?''

''One of the graduate students, he doing a part time internship with us... anyways, he was backpacking with his brother through Germany because he’s doing an archeology minor and there was these old ruins he wanted to excavate. Most of the archeologists supposedly had already gone through the ruins, so he figured he’d just look around. He was told me that there were these strange symbols that he copied down and lucky for him, his brother majored in cryptography and noticed a pattern in the hieroglyphs. It was actually a number system. But in the past, all the other archeologists thought it was just a bunch of pretty pictures'' The researcher, Brian, took a breath since he had been speaking so fast.

''And?'' Lex asked impatiently, but not because he was annoyed. The story had piqued his interest and he wanted to hear the rest.

''And then they were walking around this main open area that had the symbols on the floor, somehow his brother guessed that they had to put some sort of weight on the numbers that were missing from the hieroglyphs. So they got a bunch of stones and put them on the tiles that weren’t mentioned. It was such a kooky idea, but who would have known he was right? The moment they put the weight on the last tile, the center sank in there were stairs going into a secret room. They found some really interesting stuff in there, like glowing lights that didn’t need electricity and more strange symbols. Edwin said that this book was lying there in the center on the pedestal. When they opened the book, it was mostly empty pages, except for the middle page, with happened to have a moving picture.''

''Like a flip book?'' Lex asked as he looked over at the book.

''Oh no no, something far more advanced. It’s like a television screen. We’ve never seen anything like this before, it doesn’t run on electricity and it’s only on a sheet of paper.'' Brian continued to babble, but when he noticed that Lex didn’t understand what he was talking about, he quickly took a set of keys out of his pocket and opened the glass case, then he carefully opened the book to the center page. Lex looked down at the moving picture of a world filled with unknown plants and animals, and a village built partially in a forest and along a mountain. The architecture was a strange mixture of machine and plant life. Lex reached down to touch the picture, but Brain’s hand quickly darted out, ''No! Don’t do that!''

Lex drew back his hand and scowled, ''Why is that?''

''The picture is a transporter of some sort too. We did some tests. We’ve been getting unknown elements and things that break all the rules of physics from that little picture right there. A few weeks ago, we decided to test it on a cat. It disappeared completely and all of our recording devices on it stopped the moment it was completely gone. If you touch that picture, you may not be able to come back.

Lex backed away warily and Brian closed the book and locked the glass case once more. Finally Lex asked, ''So what happened to it?''

''We think it entered the world in the book.''

''How do you know that?''

''A few days ago, one my assistants noticed it in the trees, watching one of the bird creatures. Its fine, it’s just that, we don’t know how to get it back. Well, on the brighter side, it didn’t disappear into a million atoms. Meaning the transporter works.''

''What happens if the book gets destroyed? Will it die?''

Brian shook his head, ''Not according to the readouts. Apparently this is like some sort of transporter book... a linking book. The world you see exists outside of the book and won’t go away even if you do destroy the book.''

Lex nodded, ''Good work Brian, keep researching this, I’ll allocate more money into this project of yours. I’m very interested. If we can harness the ability to successfully transport people... well, imagine the possibilities.''

Brian grinned from ear to ear and nodded enthusiastically.

Lex returned a curt nod and exited Cadmus labs, his little detour to one of the LexCo-.... No, LuthorCorp’s companies proved to be very worth it. Now, if only he could keep his father from hearing about this.

A few months later, Lex found himself at Belle Reve.
~~~

''No!'' Lex struggled against Ian as he watched Clark get dragged away. Eventually they managed to beat him until he couldn’t move.

Lex tried to fight the onslaught of the darkness falling on him. The pain was immense from the beating he had received earlier, the wounds on his hands started to bleed once more as they smeared all over the ground. He could taste the sickly metallic blood that was rising in his throat.

The darkness was so inviting and he tried to struggle to get to Clark. But the weariness and the lethargy of his soul ached for sleep and he fell into the darkness to fight against the pain. It was like swimming under water without a surface, struggling for breath and consciousness. The pain had dulled into a heavy ache...

Then Lex knew what to do, he dug his fingers into the wounds on his hands and shocked himself back to the surface.

With suddenly clarity, Lex got up despite the pain coming from random directions, his brain chanted for him to get out while his heart told him to go help Clark.
~~~
(Meanwhile out front)

''Please just let me visit Lex,'' Brian pleaded to the male nurse, ''Before his appointment, I just really just want to ask him one last thing.''

Then Brian fumbled for his wallet and found two twenties, ''Here. Please just....''

Upon seeing the money flash before his eyes, the male nurse had a change of heart and nodded to Brian, ''Fine, but make it quick, Lionel Luthor will be here any second with the doctors.''

''U-Understood.'' Brain stuttered as he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and shifted the book and knife in his coat.

~~~
(Meanwhile, with Lionel)

''The clone is already complete?'' Lionel asked as his eyes widened.

The scientist on the other side confirmed so.

''That’s good... no, great news. Look, I’ll go see it tomorrow. Right now, I have to deal with something. I’ll call you back later.''

Lionel smiled darkly as he put away his cell phone and watched as the replacement doctor came up to his limo.
~~~

Lex started to hit the other orderly with the taser stick he had picked up from the other orderly, then he heard another one rush this way...

Lex tried to struggled between the two, one of them started to hold him down as the other pulled out a syringe.

However, what Lex hadn’t noticed was that the second orderly was followed by a visitor.

Brian quickly caught up with the other orderly and was standing behind him just as he tried to inject Lex with a syringe.

Without thinking Brian pulled out the knife in his coat and imbedded it deeply into the orderly. Then he pried the syringe loose from the first man and injected the syringe into the second orderly that had brought him, before the man had time to respond.

When Lex felt the warm blood hit his hand, he gasped as he saw Brian quickly and frantically stab the other man with the syringe.

''Brian!'' Lex cried out as he struggled out of the second orderly’s hold and uneasily stood up.

Brain quickly brought his arm around Lex to support him, ''Come on. I heard that your father is on his way here already, you’re scheduled for a 5 o’clock treatment and that’s 2 minutes away.''

''Come on, we have to help Clark.'' Lex said, trying to block out his instincts telling him to run.

''Clark?''

''He tried to get me out, he’s hurt. Someone took him and they’re hurting him,'' Lex said

''Look I’ll go help Clark, but...'' Brian started.

Suddenly, the two of them heard the rush of footsteps. Lex let out a pained whimper as he pulled back, ''No no no... please, you can’t let them do this to me.''

Brian nodded, ''I know.''

He quickly pulled out the linking book from this coat, ''It’s the only thing I could think of.''

Lex stared at the swirling picture, hesitant, but as he heard the footsteps near, his decision was pushing towards escaping. Lex quickly looked up at Brain, ''Thank you Brain...''

''Brian Hamilton.'' Brain finished for Lex.

Lex’s mind flickered a second at the name, but Brain and Steve were different ethnicities... so, there was nothing wrong with him... right?

Besides, it didn’t really matter anymore. Lex quickly placed a hand on the swirling picture and within seconds he completely disappeared.

Brain then quickly closed the book and put it back into his jacket just as the group of orderlies came. Brain hunched down and pretended to hide.

The group suddenly was on him, ''Where’s Lex Luthor?''

''I-I don’t know, h-he’s just went crazy and stabbed a guard.''

Brain pointed down the hall, ''H-he, went that way.''

The orderlies frowned at each other, ''But there isn’t...''

''But wait, there’s a vent.'' One of them said.

Soon the group went to the vent to go catch Lex as Brain slipped back to the front and left Belle Reve.

~~~
Just as Brain exited the parking lot he spotted Lionel Luthor’s limo headed towards Belle Reve. Brain, quickly turned his head to the side and pretended he was looking to check traffic. As the limo passed him, he quickly went onto the rode and drove home to start packing up. It was only a matter of time, but he would try to get the book and any evidence of the book to his oldest cousin Emil before he left the country.

~~~

''What do you mean he’s gone?!''

''He have one orderly a near fatal side wound and he knocked out the other one. We’re still searching the building, he’s probably hiding in a vent.''

''I don’t have time for this,'' Lionel growled, then he thought of the news he just heard earlier.

Lionel quickly called the scientist at the cloning lab, ''Yes... uh huh... all you need to do is wake it up?... Can electroshock work? ... yes, that’s perfect. Get it here in under five minutes.''

Then Lionel turned back to the orderly, ''Tell the others that if they see Lex, they can shoot on site.''

~~~
(20 minutes later)

Clark watched helplessly through the window after Lionel finished the electroshock therapy on Lex. He was too late...

~~~

(12 years later)

''Mora yin e!'' a boy called out as he gave Lex a thumbs up from the ground. Lex tightened his harness and brushed his dark auburn hair out of his face as he place a green crystal into the last slot and gave it seven turns to the right and 3 turns to the left.

''Goji!'' Lex called back and started to rebound off of the stone wall as the imbedded crystals began to glow. Soon the towering mushrooms in the surrounding area lit up and glowing magical spores rain down onto to fields and fertilized the crops.

The boy with black hair and pale skin gave a delighted gasp and danced around, ''Misssuna shigavore Enledin dina!

Lex gave a soft laughed as he brushed the dust off of his grey shorts that had netting around the knee area and the outer red coat that reached his ankles and retightened the string on his brown animal skin boots. Then he reached over and picked up the 5 year old boy and placed him on his shoulders.

The boy giggled out loud as he grabbed onto Lex’s pony tale and shook it like a horse reign.

''Ana it nilot! (Hey! That hurts!'')'' Lex exclaimed with a hint of playfulness in his voice as he freed his ponytail from the tugging boy’s grubby hands.

A woman in the distance with plaited hair waved at the two of them as she called out, ''Gomand di! (Dinner time!)''

The giggling child squirmed around until he got off of Lex’s shoulders and rushed towards the house, past his mother. The woman laughed softy and her stringy Lidian stoned earrings glittered as she shook her head, ''Fenaris...(Children...)''

Then the woman stretched out her arm and brought Lex into the house.

As they entered, another man with a dark brown beard came out with book in his hand and an iridescent quill. Lex’s eyes widened as he hurried over to the man, ''Joma na i’l ji (Have you added something)?''

The man nodded as he opened the book and revealed the pages he had written. Lex read the strange curvy scrawl easily and nodded. But as he neared the end, he was frowning in confusion, ''Tillan daren. (It’s not balanced)''

The man gave a conceding sigh, ''Veraven nof. (I know.)''

Then Lex flipped back a few pages and pointed at a paragraph, ''Gomane Quilance tui lorge proan.(You can’t have everything powered by machine magic.) Kofone dorrmillien Tolith nosh. (The world will collapse, you need natural magic).''

''Omo silfilli dafen.(Or I can use angel magic)''

Lex stopped and looked up at the man, ''Mdraash, vomavet gi gonto (Mdraash, who told you I solved the key?)''

Mdraash’s wife cleared her throat and motioned for them to put the book away. Then she brought out four bowls of glowing violet soup and placed it in front of each person. Afterwards, she headed back into the kitchen and came back out with dishes of food and placed them in the middle of the table

They first started on the soup, which all of them drank slowly. Lex did the same, savoring the salty tanginess of the soup made from Harn water (which was blue colored) and pilen (a sort of tomato plant found in this world). It was actually a sort of concoction that the Rataaws people drank to keep healthy because it had healing properties. At first, Lex was wary of the soup when they fed it to him when he first arrived. The violet glow was just a bit disconcerting. But as soup returned his health and eased the madness in his mind, he wasn’t as hesitant as before. Finally when he started to grow hair a few months later, he almost enthusiastically drank the soup. It had managed to heal and correct the mutation the meteors caused, both mentally and physically. Which was why he didn’t manage to retain the immunity advantage that he used to have...as he soon grudgingly learned from the first time he got a miserable cold in 13 years. However, the food that the Rataaws ate did also change him in other ways. Because he was introduced into a world that relied on magic so heavily, he soon realized that the longer he stayed here, the more magic was imbedded into him.

The Rataaw people usually ate two meals a day at midmorning and late afternoon. Their meals started with the healing soup and then the family would share the food in the middle. They ate with two utensils and a small bowl. Their spoons were narrow and long and also their fork like utensils had these sort of contraption made of three sticks that would wrap around the food.

After the four of them finished their soup, Mdraash muttered a sort of prayer and they started to eat.

''Shigri illico tolostranda damash Grashini (Are you going to be at the meeting tonight?)'' Mdraash’s wife asked.

''Fevalen, Omatar gomo toshtakunil derrafa. Itsu novon perriklee (Fevalen, Of course he’s going. He’s a Guild writer, therefore he’s one of Council.)''

Fevalen shot her husband a glare, ''Gorovo moto ish ni Degcraven. (Just for that tone, you do the dishes tonight)''

''Setaa Setaa (Sorry, Sorry)'' Mdraash mumbled, but he knew he still had to do them now.

Lex chuckled softly at their banter, ''Sogo, Mdraash Vinto Sho silfilliaren (So, Mdraash, when do you want the angel orbs)?''

''Govo ich nato (Tomorrow is good)''

''Daimane (Alright)'' Lex nodded and resumed his meal.

~~~

The next day, Lex stretched as he woke up early. He wanted to get the orbs and get it out of the way. Getting the orbs was particularly draining. And the meeting last night didn’t help any. They had a very trying evening as they convicted a slightly mad Rataaw man to be exiled to Morden, one of the worlds where magic was completely blocked out. Lex remembered his own tense nerves as he watched the man give him a dark smirk as Lex gave the final vote to convict him.

As the man was dragged away to a linking book, he mouthed to Lex, ''Moroto Comf Zendara(We’ll get you for this).''

Lex gulped as rubbed his hands absentmindedly. It was almost like Smallville again, with the people after him. But one of the council members had seen his distress and told him that there was only a way into Morden and no way out. It made him feel a little better...

But the problem was that Guild Writers were always a target because of the power one could receive behind owning a world was much desired. In the past, only the rich owned worlds. But that was not banned by the Rataaws, it reminded them too much of their corrupt elders, the D’ni. The D’ni had overused Yahvo’s (The D’ni’s equivalent of God) gift and Guild Writers no longer retained the morals and standards they used to. Then they started to create too many worlds that weren’t balanced. For example, the city of Tostoren was architecturally and industrially perfect, but it was so unbalanced that the world had reacted with bad side effects. Anyone who tried to enter Tostoren would die in a few days from the poison gases in the air. Anyone could write a book, but a Guild Writer knew how to balance everything just right. And they were the only ones given a legal license of sorts to write linking books.

Lex sighed and went to the bureau and got out a red shirt with a golden symbol on the front which translated into ‘Angel’. Since he was visiting the temple today, it was tradition amongst Rataaws to wear garmentss like that.

Next he put on a pair of long black pants, with the usually netting in the knee area, unique to the Rataaw style. He then put on his brown soft boots.

Afterwards he went into his trunk and pulled out a long white robe with a deep V shaped collar that stopped right above his waist, stylized openings in the arm area and a golden trim along the edges. Then he pulled out a sash that was gold and black and tied it around his waist.

Lex even went as far as to tie up his hair with a golden hair band.

And finally he took out a blood red amulet from the chest and put it around his neck. This he actually had to wear because if he wanted to get the angel orbs, he would need the necklace to concentrate his magic.

Then he picked up a small satchel to put the orb in. Angel orbs were actually only the size of a ping pong ball, but the power they held was immense.
~~
(meanwhile)

Clark glared hatefully at the television as he watched Lex Luthor get out of another criminal trial. He was giving the camera his fake smile as he stood proudly next to Lionel. No matter how much research the accusers put into proving that Lex dumped the toxic chemicals in the area of the lower end homes, there was nothing directly attached to him.

''Like father, like son...'' Clark could hear Jonathan’s voice echo in his head. Clark desperately wanted to believe it. Nobody else could tell, but Clark was pretty sure something strange must have happened to Lex twelve years ago. For one, Lex would have never let himself bulk up like that. No, this Lex had a thick neck, shoulders that were too wide and lacked the grace that the Lex he knew was supposed to have.

Twelve years ago, when Lex came back, he was ‘off’, his eyes constantly had that icy gleam. His mouth lacked the scar that Clark knew he just had to be there. At first things were alright, Lex kept telling him they were the stuff of Legends. But two weeks later, he just packed up and left without saying a word.

For the longest time, Clark was convinced that Lex was mad at him. When he finally got over it and went to visit Lex, he found that Lex only remembered Clark was supposed to be his friend and nothing else. Not even how he met Clark. It was so strange. Months later, he started to act more and more like Lionel until the point that Clark didn’t think his visits were safe anymore. Maybe they really did wipe out everything, but then how did Lex remember him?

I didn’t make sense.

But what about that missing scar?

What about his eyebrows that are dark brown instead of dark auburn?

What about his stocky build?

Clark groaned as he put his head into his hands. Sometimes he would wish after a particularly trying day that Lex could suddenly remember those missing years and come back to him.

Clark never admitted to anyone and sure as hell tried not to admit it to himself that Lex was the only person he every really liked... loved...

~~~~
.

As Dr. Hamilton started to test the machine with his assistants, he quietly remembered his cousin Brian’s plea , ''Emil, you’re the only one I trust. Look, it’s not safe for me to stay in Metropolis anymore, especially since Lionel is bent on convicting me. I want you to take this and keep it a secret. Don’t tell anyone about it. Don’t tell anyone I gave it to you.''

''Dr. Hamilton, are you ready?'' one of the assistants asked.

Dr. Hamilton nodded as he cleared his throat, ''Yes yes, of course.''

Dr. Hamilton then signaled for his assistants to start the machine. The air inside the machine started to whirl with electricity.

~~~

''Jiling, Toma nish kovank? (Jilin, what are you doing here?)'' Lex asked in surprise as he saw Mdraash’s son walk around the temple.

''Mi nuu limilen... (I was curious...)''

''Maradu! Fresha tosh ne!(Absolutely not! Got home at once!)'' Lex angry told Jiling.

Jiling stood there stubbornly and folded his arms in front of him, ''Dina (No)''

''Jiling...'' Lex growled dangerously.

''Dina!'' Jiling repeated.

Lex groaned, he really didn’t have time for this. Without saying another thing to Jiling, he entered the temple. Jiling stopped pouting and then tiptoed into the temple after him.

Jiling watched as Lex hurried up the stairs and haphazardly pressed the buttons to light the place. There was a small fountain at the top of the stairs and an eerie soprano singing coming from the walls of the temple. The circular stain glass windows shined beautifully as a sort of glittery gold dust floated in the air. His footsteps echoed through the ancient walls of the temple.u

Lex ignored Jiling as he heard the boy quietly climb up the stairs. Lex took a deep breath and put his hands into the fountain. Then he felt around until his hand touched a slippery crystal, he felt around for the other five crystals and began to turn them. The Rataaws were very intelligent people, almost everything in Rataaw was calculated and worked in patterns .Finally he felt the water turn warm and the clear water changed to a strange bluish color.

Lex another breath, inhaling the cleansing air and murmured in the Rataaw tongue as he closed his eyes. Soon, he felt as icy coldness in the palm of his hand, the form of the orb was shaping. Then lowered his head and concentrated his energy. The red necklace sparked and Lex vaguely sensed a gasp coming from behind him. He shuddered as he felt the magic arc through him like electricity and then come out of his fingertips. This happened for a while and finally when fountain stopped channeling magic through him, Lex opened his eyes, the orb was clear with a teal tint.

Lex gave a tired sigh and pulled his hands that were cupping the orb out of the fountain.

Lex then balanced the orb in one hand and pulled out the satchel with another, the inside of the satchel was covered with Quma, magic resilient dust. Lex carefully pushed the orb into the satchel and pulled the two strings at the ends of the satchel to tighten it.

He turned to Jiling, '' Imi nory ... Ena....Jilp Dosil, lefarnae Litosh.(Here, take this... Uhh... Jiling, I trust you don’t tell anyone what you saw.)

Jiling nodded vigorously and then took the satchel and tightly tied the ends of the string around his small neck so that he would not be able to drop the precious item.

For a small boy, Lex noted with a smile, Jiling was very smart.

As Lex watched Jiling quickly trot down the stairs, Lex wandered in the area between the fountain and the stairs, taking in the sight of the beautiful stained glass while stretching out his tense muscles and drawing back in any loose magic. Unknown to him, the tiles on the floor started to light up as he walked in a slightly zig zagged manner, looking at the windows from left to right. Unconsciously he traced the symbol for angel.

As Lex took one last step, towards the right he suddenly felt that strange warping feeling he felt 12 years ago.

~~~

''Wait!'' One of the assistants, Jenny, called out. Dr. Hamilton, and the other assistants turned to look at her.

''Don’t send in the probe yet, the computer is picking up something.'' Jenny said and then she leaned forward a bit and began to type furiously on the keyboard.

Then she frowned, ''Something is coming through the portal...''

Suddenly they three heard a faint human yell gradually increase until the source of the sound came tumbling out of the portal and was sprawled on the ground. Then person leaped back with a frightened yelp, then he managed to stumble over the probe and fall on his ass.

''Raiy! (Ouch!)'' the person exclaimed as he cut his palm on the sharp edge of the probe.

The person held his hand far away from his body, not wanting the pooling blood to get onto his white pristine robes. Jenny was the first one to get it together and walked over to the man with some tissue from a box in the corner. ''Here...Just press down on it hard.''

The man gratefully took the tissue and did as she said and murmured, ''Gsnome Turus (Thank you)''

''Jenny! Be careful you don’t know if he’s dangerous!'' Owen, another assistant, said as he took a step towards Jenny.

Jenny put a hand on her hip and shot Owen a ‘give me a break’ look. It took Lex a couple of seconds to register the words, but when he did Lex scowled at Owen, ''Lofron! (am not!).... Ena (ummm)... ‘eem’? Dina (no)... am?..
Ena... Am no? ... Am not...''

Jenny quickly crouched down in front of the man, ''You know English?''

The man made a face and then tried to speak again, ''Ron... Dina... Laaang... Long time... a...Ena....''

''ago?'' Jenny quipped.

''La! (Yes!)... Long time ago'' The man said.

Then Lois narrowed her eyes as she studied his face, ''You know, you look kind of familiar. What’s your name?''

''Milalif Talrae'' Lex answered.

''Umm... do you have an English name?'' Lois asked.

The man’s faced darkened and he shrugged, not wanting to talk about it. He decided to distract them from his discomfort by taking care of his wound.

''Ena...'' Lex then look down at the blood soaked tissue and pulled it away, leaving a fully healed hand without any trace that had only cut it a few minutes ago.

''Grava walen (There, all better)'' Lex said to himself as he bunched up the tissue in his hand.

Jenny took his hand into her hands, ''How’d you do that?''

Lex looked a bit tired as he tried to think of the word, ''Ma... Maji ku... Maaaagiiicc.''

''Magic.'' Jenny deadpanned.

''La.'' Lex said as he nodded.

''Can you show me?''

Lex gave her a weak smiled and then shrugged. Then he put his hands together and laid his head on them, indicating the universal sign that he was tired.

''Oh'' Jenny replied, a bit disappointed, ''Sorry.''

''Paiysay (It’s okay)'' Lex said.

Jenny quickly stood up and looked up at Dr. Hamilton, ''We better turn off the power to the machine before it overloads the lab’s electricity bill.''

Dr. Hamilton cleared his throat, ''I’m going to have go into the room next door and turn off the machine manually. Can you watch yourself?''

Lex nodded a few minutes later after he processed the words, then he watched Dr. Hamilton enter a door a few feet away.

Eventually Dr. Hamilton came back and started to make plans for his stay.

~~~

During the month he had come back, he slowly relearned English. He was quite surprised at how much he remembered even though he hadn’t spoken a word of English for the last 12 years.

He could make normal sentences now, but he spoke slowly and occasionally would start speaking Rataawlish if he wanted to ramble to himself.

As Lex started to remember the language, he also relearned how to read English and thus he was informed of what happened for the last 12 years he was gone.

It was beyond disturbing. His father had cloned him and then the clone of himself was currently Metropolis’s evil mastermind that tried to kill Clark everyday.

Lex had gaped at first when he saw Clark in the spandex suit and the screaming red cape, but as he got over that, he realized that Clark had filled in quite nicely as a man.

Dr. Hamilton had managed to settle Lex into the small room in the back of the lab that the assistants slept in if they pulled an all-nighter. There was a small twin sized bed, a simple chair and table with a desk lamp on top. It was too large and very impersonal, and it made Lex yearn for the cramped but cozy spherical hut that he live in.

The food here was horrible too. The first time they tried to give him food, the brought over some McDonalds, which soon after made him very sick and vomit it back up. That ultimately made them cancel out giving him any sort of fast food. The next day Jenny had brought him some beef stew. Lex had managed to keep down the stew, he had a few pieces of meat and ate the rest of the vegetables. When the assistants saw that the meat was left over, they concluded that he had less of a meat diet. The rest of the meals after that were better, but he did miss the violet healing soup and even tomato soup couldn’t really match the unique taste.

For the rest of the time, Dr. Hamilton and his assistants kept him occupied with questions and physical tests to see how the Rataaws lived and interacted. Lex had usually answered them. But when they asked about the linking books, he stubbornly pretended to not know a single thing about it. He had learned his lesson before about the corruption of power, as nice as Dr. Hamilton and his team were, he couldn’t trust that that sort of information wouldn’t fall into the wrong hands.

~~~

Superman quietly followed Dr. Hamilton into one of the testing rooms, he was here to return one of the lead suits that Dr. Hamilton had gave him. He had used the suit to stop one of Lex’s most recent fiascos and now he was returning it for repairs and safekeeping.

Dr. Hamilton was placing the suit on a rack when Superman heard the door behind them slide open. Dr. Hamilton also turned around, ''Oh hi Milalif. Can I help you?''

''I-I broke my cup.'' Lex said slowly, ''C-Can I get... new one?''

''How’d it happen?''

''Head ache. Didn’t mean to make it explode, sorry.'' Lex said quietly as he stared at Superman the whole time.

Dr. Hamilton followed Lex’s gaze, ''Oh, that was rude of me, Milalif, this is Superman. Superman, this is Milalif. Apparently he said he used to be part of this world, but something happened and he managed to fall into another world and has been there for the last twelve years.''

At that moment Jenny walked in to ask where Milalif was, but realized that he was in the room. ''Oh! There you are!''

''Jenny, can you get him another cup, apparently he broke his.''

''Again? Were you having headaches again?'' Jenny asked gently.

Lex nodded as he followed her out, but not before taking one last glimpse of Superman.

Superman stared at the auburn haired man and blinked rapidly before turning to Dr. Hamilton, ''He looks...''

''Like Lex Luthor.'' Dr. Hamilton nodded, ''Yes I know. I did some blood tests and x-rays on him and actually I just got the results this morning.''

''And?''

''They match. Everything from DNA to bone structure... well, at least the DNA and bone structure that was left in the database.''

''How can there be two Lexs?''

''Apparently one is a fake.''

''How are you so sure that this isn’t a Lex from another world?''

''My sources and the machine I built were based on the book Lex disappeared into 12 year ago.''

Superman gave a sharp laugh, ''No, Lex was brainwashed 12 years ago.''

''That’s what Lionel wants some people to believe. But my cousin’s book and notes told otherwise.''

Superman stared back at the door, ''Do you mind if I talk to him?''

''Yes, but be careful, he’s been stressed lately and apparently he came back with some strange abilities. With the stress, he hasn’t been able to control it too well. That was the 6th cup he’s exploded this month.''

''You’ve had him for a month?'' Superman asked incredulously.

''Yes. He usually doesn’t come out of the room unless we ask him to. He can anytime, but I think he’s still coping.

''Does anyone else know?''

''We didn’t think it would be safe to let this news out, because Mr. Luthor may deem him a threat. Look Superman. Milalif isn’t like Mr. Luthor. If you’re going to talk to him, try not to intimidate him too much. From what I’ve seen so far, he’s a good person. And anyways, we really don’t want more things exploding.''

~~~

Lex was sitting at the table in the small kitchen in Star Labs, he was holding a cup of warm water and quietly talking to Jenny, who had a pad of paper and was writing down whatever Lex was telling her.

The two of them looked up at Superman as he walked in. Jenny smiled, ''Hello Superman, how can I help you?''

''I was wondering if I could talk to Le... Um... Milalif.''

Jenny gave Lex a curt nod and exited the kitchen. Lex fidgeted in his seat, playing with the glass handle of his clear mug.

‘Try not to intimidate him.’ Superman recalled Emil’s words.

''Hi.'' He started.

Lex looks up cautiously and then gave a cautious, ''Hi.''

''So, Mr. Hamilton tells me you were in another world for 12 years.''

Lex nodded slowly, but continued to stare at the cup like it was the most fascinating thing he had ever seen. Clark stared at the soft lush dark red hair that was slightly highlighted with flaming red near the tips. It was tied back into a simple ponytail, but a few strands had escaped and danced around his face as he breathed.

Superman could almost feel the urge to pass his hands through it and bury his face in it to smell the scent. At that thought, Superman quickly reeled in his thoughts from inappropriate places. Now was not the time.

Lex glanced up again, the silence had stretched out too long and he was more uncomfortable than ever.

''You didn’t have hair before.'' Superman commented, wondering if Lex would give him truthful answer.

Lex shrugged, ''I guess not.''

At that comment, Clark smiled inwardly, he wasn’t going to lie about this.

''How’d it come back?''

''The Rataaws had... healing foods that corrected my mutation.'' Lex said slowly, feeling out whether the words he used was correct.

Superman nodded, it was nice seeing Lex unaffected by the meteor. For a moment he wondered whether Lex would have ended up like all the other meteor mutants and gone mad from his mutation.

Superman watched as Lex picked up the glass cup and gently drank a sip of water. Then as he put the cup down, he ran his tongue over the scar on his lip and at that moment Clark felt a strange mixture of relief, lust, and realization.

His Lex was finally back.

~~~
For the rest of the week, Superman came to visit as much as possible and he could tell Lex enjoyed the company. He had been in near isolation for so long.

Clark had come in when Lex was asleep, he was curious, did Lex sleep a lot more now?

''Do you always sleep this much?'' Superman asked.

''Rataaw has three suns. Within 26 hours, the sun rises and sets 3 times. We usually sleep in 3 to 4 hour intervals.''

''Wow.''

Lex smiled softly, ''It’s hard, readjusting to sleeping all at once. I haven’t got ten used to it yet.''

Clark put a hand on Lex’s shoulder, ''I should let you go back to sleep then.''

''No, don’t go. I’m awake.'' Lex said as he stifled a yawn.

''At least lie down?'' Clark said. Lex slowly acquiesced as he laid his head back onto the pillow, his soft red hair spilled over the pillow. This time, unthinkingly, Clark ran his hand through Lex’s soft hair. Lex looked up at Clark with a looked of reserved wonder.

As Clark gently petted Lex, he asked softy, ''Is that you Lex? Please tell me it’s you..''

Lex started back and his eyes flickered as he stared at Clark. Then he whispered back, ''I missed you Clark.''

Suddenly Lex found himself embraced by Clark’s large figure and he happily embraced back.

~~~

Eventually Superman got Hamilton to release Lex into ‘Clark Kent’s’ custody. At first Dr. Hamilton had been a little confused and even worried, but as Superman kept arguing about how reliable Clark was, he eventually gave in. Lex needed to got outside more anyways, keeping him in the lab was probably detrimental to his health.

So now, Clark found himself bustling around his apartment, superspeeding in front of Lex, not caring that he saw, and moving the boxes out of his extra room.

''We’ll take you out to find a bed and mattress.'' Clark said as he started to sweep the dust out of the room. Lex stood by the doorway holding his neatly folded ceremonial garb since Dr. Hamilton had gotten him some regular clothes.

Clark quickly cleaned up the room and then came back and tossed a few rugs he had gotten from the linen closet, ''There. Oh! And we’ll also get you drawers for the clothes that I’ll buy you and... uh... toiletries...''

''Clark.'' Lex started.

''And I’ll need to also get you a comb since you have hair and all. Oh, I’ll have to double up on my shampoo.''

''Clark...''

''Uh... oh and food, since Dr. Hamilton said you can’t really live off of take out.''

Lex walked over and put a hand on Clark’s shoulder, ''You don’t need to...''

''Yes I do, you’re my best friend.'' Clark said with conviction. He was going to do everything possible to make Lex happy and comfortable.

Lex gave a sigh, ''But, I can’t pay...''

''You better not, I’m not going to accept it.'' Clark said firmly.

Lex muttered something in Rataaw as he gave Clark a mild glare.

Then Clark started to laugh.

''What?''

''It sounded like you were singing.''

''I was not.''

''What was that then?''

''I was muttering in Rataaw... well, I guess it’s sort of a lyrical language. But I wasn’t singing.''

''Sure Lex.''

''Hush you.'' Lex growled.

I know I know...

Sun, 08 Feb 2004 02:23:37 GMT

Friday was out of the closet WIP day but I had an essay due for a 6 pm class... major suckage... anyways after I woke up from my essay induced coma at 3 this afternoon, i finally got around to looking for my old WIPs

well... here you go.

Title: Going Home
Summary: Lex was never electroshocked, instead he ran away and his father replaced him with a clone.

Drip - tink

Drip - tink

Drip – tink

The wind is blowing harder today with the heavy downpour of rain. Lex sits on the creaky old mattresses, multiple because he decided not to buy a frame. He spent quite some money on the dark blue comforter that’s he’s curled up in right now. It was something he wanted to indulge in just once and even now it’s worth it. His bones aren’t as cold as the winters before.

Money is difficult to squeeze these days. Even with two jobs, top ramen is still a staple. After paying the landlord he only barely has enough for one dollar a meal every day. So he buys everything in bulk and practically worships the ground that Super Savers resides on.

There’s a small jar in the corner, under the floorboard, where he tries to save up money every day. If he calculates his meals just right, he usually can buy something he really wants after a few months, like the comforter or the few odd mismatched cups, bowls, pans in the kitchen, and the chipped grey lamp by his bedside. Right now he’s saving up for a table and chair since the upturned cardboard box is growing soft and wobbly.

The pipes creak noisily. Lex glances at the clock, its 6:13; the lady with cats who lives on the floor above him always uses the bath at 6:13 so it’s not unexpected. His life moves in a predictable rhythm now.

It is boring, horribly boring and sometimes he wants to scream at the monotony that has become his life. But when he remembers that he no longer has to deal with the lies, the hateful murderous wives, the betrayal, and his father’s poison, the simplicity regains its appeal. Lex shrugs, it just depends on the day, sometimes he’ll wake up feeling bitter and sometimes he feels free.

The hole in the window makes it difficult to keep warm at night; he considered having it replaced... but never mind, a piece of wax paper keeps out the water well enough. He’s lucky that he lives in one of the bottom floors, Mr. Thompson who lives on the top floor complains about putting out buckets every time it rains.

Tammy, who lives on the floor beneath his floor, is playing her music again. Because the walls are paper thin, he can clearly hear everything she plays. He’s thankful that her taste in music is acceptable because if she had turned out to be a teeny bopper who played pop 24-7, he may have resorted to unspeakable physical violence long ago.

She’s playing Aimee Mann’s ''Pavlov’s Bells'' and the softer second voice that almost matches perfectly with the singer’s tells him that she’s singing along. Tammy is a good singer; she’s one of those teenagers who defied her parents and went off to sing. But not to sing as a famous star, she’s deathly afraid of huge crowds, she wants to become of those coffee shop singers with a few loyal fans. Lex tries to go see her every Saturday to support her. Unlike most stars today, Tammy has had classical training, which is nice because she’s always on key, however her coordination is horrible and when she gets too engrossed in singing; she starts to play all the guitar chords incorrectly. Lex suggested Broadway once but Tammy said her dance skills are no better than that of an emu. It’s unfair, she’s really good, she can sing Madam Butterfly without any effort and yet she’s mature enough to know that she’ll only be lost in the shuffle of talented kids with money.

Money.

Before it used to center around his life because his job was to work with it, but now it’s on Lex’s mind even more than before because he depends on it. Every time he wants to buy some gum, he has to consult his mental balance book to see if he’s willing to give up dinner for a piece of gum that won’t fill him up.

He admires Jonathan Kent even more than he did before; at least Lex only has to be responsible for himself. Then with this newfound realization comes an influx of guilt, the death of those cows during the Club Zero incident makes him feel even worse now than before.

It doesn’t matter now; he hasn’t seen the Kents in years... more than a decade actually...

Lightning flashes outside in the dim skies, illuminating the quiet bare room for a few seconds before the roll of thunder joins its companion. The dark skies make the room a soft blue grey and remind him of a modern day Vermeer painting.

The stack of papers at the end of the bed is waiting to be graded. Lex eyes them with scorn and turns away so that he won’t have to think about reading moronic essays that talk about how Odysseus is like some inane modern superhero. These kids are in high school, really, you were supposed to stop making parallels like that back in elementary school.

Lex teaches English because first of all, history and chemistry were already filled anyways. And second of all, if his father wanted to track him down and assumed that he was teaching, the first two things he’d check would be history and chemistry, so he stays away from History and Science and teaches books like the Iliad and the Odyssey, A Separate Peace, 1984, and Julius Caesar because he refuses to teach mindless drivel straight from the censored text books like the other English teachers do. The school allows it, but that’s only because the kids like him enough not to report him to their parents yet.

He may be the poorest and shabbiest teacher in the school, but he’s more intelligent and than the other teachers combined. And he wears his intelligence with more pride than the Armani suits he used to wear to the LuthorCorp socials. Because his classes always come out with more kids that pass the state requirement tests than the other teacher’s classes Lex can hear the whispers and murmurs of the jealous teachers as they comment on him wearing the same jeans and worn brand less plain light blue shirt every day.

Years of ignoring the media are easily applied and it matters even less now because he knows that these teachers are ignorant and know nothing outside of the textbook they have been teaching out of for the last 20 years. What did Woody Allen say? ''Those who can’t do, teach. And those who can’t teach, teach gym. And of course, those who couldn’t do anything, I think, were assigned to our school.''

At least Lex used to be a CEO....

*sigh*

But now he rushes onto bus 35 at 3:30 to get to the town on the next highway exit so he can work the nightshift at the supermarket.

How the mighty have fallen.

He wonders if it counts as falling if he purposely ran away.

Losing all his money and power or having a fried brain...it really isn’t a decision.

Lex lays there and stares at the irregular stains on the ceiling. Today’s one of those bad days, he can feel it itch under his skin. He hasn’t eaten yet and it’s already 3 in the afternoon. Maybe the hunger has gotten to his brain. Not that he really feels hungry much anymore, but he does because Tammy checks up on him everyday and is just short of force feeding him lard. Lex mutters as his bony finger run along his protruding ribs.

Tammy’s computer just switched to a different downloaded song. It’s playing Goo Goo Doll’s ''Hate this Place''.

Lex mouths the song’s chorus to himself, ''Hold on dream away/ You’re my sweet charade...''

As much as he hates Metropolis, he can’t help but want to go back now...

But he can’t.

So he gets up, puts on his sneakers and goes out to jog in the rain. Maybe the cold will numb him enough to make the itch temporarily stop.

~~~

Clark cursed as he dodged another well placed Kryptonite beam that shoots up towards him.

It used to be so much easier in Smallville, a well placed smack and the mutant of the week would go down like a sack of potatoes. But now it seems like everyone knows he’s weak around Kryptonite.

‘Damn fucking Luthor!’ Clark thinks as he makes a loop in the air to avoid another beam.

He glares hatefully at the bulky bald man standing on the rooftop of Luthorcorp who’s smiling maniacally as he wields an enormous gun with a green rock in the center.

''What’s wrong Superman? Too much for you?'' Lex laughs as he pulls the trigger again and holds it as the beam trails after the flying humanoid. His father would have been proud, eradicating the human race of this disgusting creature that tricked him and made him vulnerable.

‘Get rid of all weaknesses son.’ Lionel had said.

Lex grins nostalgically, ‘Of course dad.''

Unfortunately Superman seemed to have an accomplice these days. Lex let out a growl as a laser beam shot at the gun from his right side and managed to dislodge the kryptonite from the gun, thus making it worthless.

Lex drops the enormous gun in disgust and pulls out a handgun that has Kryptonite laced bullets. He shoots at the blonde haired female and manages to hit her in the shoulder. He gives Superman a nasty smile as he watches the girl tumble from her graceful flight in the sky and descend towards her death.

Superman stops going after Luthor and immediately goes the other way to save his female friend. He manages to get to Kara in time and pulls out the bullet despite the pain it also causes him and tosses it as far away as he can.

Kara whimpers softly as Superman flies upward.

As expected, Lex has already escaped from the rooftop.

So Superman wearily turns around and flies home to his parent’s warm yellow house so his adopted Kryptonian sister can get some rest.

~~~

''Can you put these in isle 7?'' Sandy asks while she pushing a car covered in teddy bears over to Lex. Lex nodded as he finished tying his green apron and writes down the time he got in on the clipboard.

Lex pushes the bears down to isle 7 just like was asked to and then starts putting the bears into the empty shelf labeled ''Kissing bears.'' Lex stops for a moment and holds the bears close together so that the bears’ snouts attract and press against each other. Amused, Lex plays with the bears for a little bit more before putting the rest onto the shelf.

Years before he would have thought the novelty items to be ridiculous. But now that his life has been simplified. He likes to take pleasure in the smallest things. He hums as he pushes the metal cart back over to Sandy for his next task. It’s Sunday morning right now and there really is nothing to do on a Sunday morning but restock the supermarket. George is bored and discretely plays his game boy while keeping an eye out for customers that come in.

So far, it’s only the three of them.

A fit of coughs wrack’s Lex’s body as he passes by the row of cash registers on his way to the supply room.

George looks up, ''Hey, you see the Nicks game last night?''

George carefully walks away from his station and then does a really nice layout and cheers loudly afterwards. ''Man that was a great game.''

Lex stretches his face and gives George a tight smile. Lex doesn’t follow basketball... or anything at all actually. How could he? Without a TV. Not that he tried to get a TV. He’s been sticking his head into the sand for a while and he tries not to look at any sort of news outside of his sheltered world. He doesn’t want to be reminded of him...

Lex body convulses with another fit of coughs. Sandy pops her head out of the storage room, while loudly snapping her gum, ''Uh oh, looks like someone’s sick~''

Lex shrugs it off, ''It’s nothing. Here, I’ll go get some Dayquil.''

''We’ll have to take it off your salary.'' Sandy said seriously.

Lex nodded, ''Of course.''

‘I guess I’ll have to wait another month for that table... damn, why did I have to go and run yesterday?’ Lex grudgingly thought to himself as he trudged over to the medicine section to retrieve some cold syrup.

~~~

''Clark~ stop~'' Kara whined as she tried to shove her adopted brother away. He was trying to help her put on her jacket since he was worried she couldn’t do it by herself. Really it was ridiculous, they had the same healing abilities... her hands were steady and she didn’t even feel horrible when she woke up. Clark really fretted too much, especially after Jonathan had that heart attack a few years back. Jonathan was better now and didn’t do as much work since he sold off half the farmland and mostly took care of the cows now.

But Clark had this problem where he blamed everything on himself. After only living with Clark for under a year, Kara was convinced that he had some sort of guilt complex to add on top of his savior complex and some other stuff. Yeah, your regular alien basket case...

Finally Clark threw his hands up and gave up, ''Fine! I’m only trying to help.''

''I’m fine Clark, Kryptonian remember?''

''You almost died.''

''Well I’m not thanks to you, you got the Kryptonite bullet out in time.'' Kara said matter- of-factly as she finished buttoning her blue jacket.

''That bastard.'' Clark growled.

But Martha Kent came in just as he cursed, ''Language honey.''

''But mom...''

''I know he’s a horrible man now, but there no reason why you should say that sort of filth in my house.''

Clark mumbled a sorry but he certainly didn’t look it.

~~~

Gary scratched his chin as he leaned close to Lex, he smelled like antiseptic and other strange medicines. Lex tired not to make a face as Gary peered up at him and stared. Gary was one of the older patients in Belle Reve, his family had put him in there sometime in the 80s after they found out he was homosexual. Rumor had it that he was one of the only people who survived more than three shock therapy treatments.

''Can you write something down for me?'' Gary wheezed

Lex hesitated for a second and then nodded. He turned to the side for a paper and pencil, But Gary stopped him, since he had already brought one.

Lex looked down at the paper and then nodded, ''Okay, what do you want me to write down?''

''The light is at the end, '' Gary started and Lex scribbled it down.

''listen to the wet spray of the water,

for they come back after every two dozen and a half drops,

right and left and left and right.

Follow the skies above

Then right and right and down the center you go

And then fly out of the nest like a dove.'' Gary finished and Lex raised a brow at what he wrote, it made no sense whatsoever.

Lex mentally shrugged and started to give the paper back to Gary, ''Here,''

Gary held his hand out, ''No no, it’s for you.''

Lex smiled stiffly, ''Oh... okay.''

Then Gary put a bony hand on Lex’s shoulder and led him around the corner, ''Come help me with a book, I can’t read as well as I used to.''

Lex shrugged, sure he had all the time in the world. Lex sat down and started to read, but Gary discretely took out the paper Lex had written on before and folded it into a bird. As he did so, he started to murmur softly so that only Lex could hear. ''... there’s a hole under the restraining room. Go into the vent and put it back, go into the hole and wait for a few days, bring food with you...''

Then Gary’s voice suddenly became loud, ''La la laaaa. Look at the birds! The birds.''

Lex stared, utterly confused but he still remembered every word Gary said.

Then Gary pretended to clam back down and murmured, ''They’ll for you for only a week. After a week, climb out of the hole and go down the fifth pipe. It’s were the water come from. Very big, but water rushes in... Look at the what you wrote, you have the intervals.''

Then Gary started his inane singing once more while pretending the oddly folded paper was flying.

Lex spent the rest of the afternoon reading to Gary and he no longer got anymore information. The odd thing was, it felt like Gary wasn’t really pretending to be insane.

‘It could be flashbacks, maybe he found a way out.’ Lex reasoned. Either way, it was a way out and he’d do anything to try it.

~~~

''You have a very high fever Alex, perhaps you should take the rest of the day off.'' The school nurse said when he had gone in during his free period.

Lex blinked as he wearily adjusted the fake black framed glasses in front of his burning eyes.

Notes and outline for Fic:

Collapse

Taken to the hospital - insurance, can barely pay the bill.
Since his collapse was unusual, they decided to run some tests – find a tumor in his brain

Resigns from school, decides that he want to go home to die even with the clone Lex present.

He has barely 50 dollars with him after paying the hospital bills. He takes the greyhound from the North back to Kansas. He’s wearing a plain blue hat, glasses, a grey colored shirt, old brown jeans jacket and blue jeans. And a pair of worn out sneakers. He has a backpack and tote bag with 4 shirts, another jeans pants and underwear, he brought his deep pan, bowl, utensils, toiletries, some food, and rolled up comforter

He arrives in metropolis mid-morning (10:30) – calls an old friend (Melody)
- turns out that Melody acts strangely (is afraid of him), Lex realizes that she thinks he’s the cloned Lex and gives up.

He wanders around and somehow ends up in the old parts of Metropolis and finds himself at the side door of abandoned warehouse which used to be the other club he used to frequent when he was younger. There’s a table still in tact, the chairs and the others ones have been ripped out of the floor. The stage is still there and the lights still work. There’s a bathroom in the club and the water still runs through there.

He wanders into a small room that Lex assumes used to be the office where the owner used to stay in. There’s a old green couch covered in dust and as exhausted as he is, Lex brings over the comforter and promptly falls asleep.

The week is fine and at sometime he goes out jogging with his hat and glasses on and finds the supermarket, he buys some more ramen and a large box of potato flakes. He wants to buy salt but he knows he doesn’t have enough money so instead he decides to mix some of the ramen powder into the potato.

When he goes out jogging the second time, he comes across a electronics store with TVs facing outside, on the TV there’s news of Lex’s possible involvement in a plot involving a mad escaped prisoner (firefly).

Very disturbed by the news, Lex decides to run a little longer and finds himself jogging down to a burned down building with caution tape surrounding it. There he stops for a bit and realizes that the escaped prisoner did this. Feeling queasy once more, Lex turns to leave the sight but runs straight into Clark.

Clark suddenly stumbles back and realizes that the person he bumped into is Lex.

Clark’s eyes narrowed as he tensed, ''Mr. Luthor?!''

At the mention of his old name, Lex gave a startled glance as he backed away. However at the same time Clark’s hand darted out and caught hold of Lex’s wrist into a tight grip.

In that moment, Lex felt like someone had walked onto his grave. What if his father never stopped looking for him? What if this man was going to take him back to be electro shocked?

Lex started to pull away, tugging on his wrist violently, not caring whether

Holy Fuck those bastards

Fri, 06 Feb 2004 05:32:37 GMT

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,110509,00.html

#$)(*$)(@*%@$#@%&@(#*$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

can we run over the moron? I mean, technically we did not vote for him... let's send him into Iraq and give the ppl there guns... you know... 'shoot the dumb monkey'

short cute fic

Fri, 23 Jan 2004 07:43:34 GMT

Title: Whoops
Rating: G - PG ish
Spoilers: Not really, mentions red K
Summary: Clark gets stuck as a (blank)

Whoops

He really, really hated Red Kryptonite. Actually, it was even tying with Green Kryptonite on the “top ten things I hate” list. Even though Green Kryptonite hurt like a bitch, Red Kryptonite was ruining his life

He thought Red Kryptonite was only supposed to make you mentally crazy and all ‘bad-boy’ like… Sure, he’d splurged his parent’s credit cards last time, but everything got returned and he went back to normal right after he took off the ring.

So why the hell did it have to be only THAT particular strain of Red K that did that?!

Why was there even more than one strain of Red K?!

Clark twitched his white tail angrily while thumping it against the floorboard of his loft. Clark stared at the mirror in the loft and down at his own paws again. Clark sulked, if he could sulk, he wasn’t even sure if he could smile.

Then he started back down at his fluffy white chest and had an overwhelming urge to lick himself.

No! He was not going to lick himself!

… well maybe later?...

Clark tested his feet and listened to the sounds of his claws scratching against the hard wood floor. ‘I probably shouldn’t that but…. Uh… it feels sooo good.’

Unbeknownst to him, he started to purr loudly.

Suddenly he stopped and looked at himself in the mirror again, ‘Am I making that sound?’

However, as he stared longer at the mirror, for some reason the more frightened he felt. The other cat was staring back at him….

‘No! that’s me stupid!’ Clark yelled at himself despite the chill in his spine.

Clark hissed at the tuxedo cat in the mirror. But when his image was reflected back, he gave out a loud squall and dashed behind the couch.

Clark whimpered under the old worn couch, ‘I’m not scared, I’m not scared.’

Suddenly something black crawled in front of him and he instinctively ate it.

‘Oh my god! I just ate a spider!’ Clark mentally screamed. As he slowly chewed on it, he started to fight with the part of his mind that was going, ‘mmm, that’s pretty good. Crunchy.’

This was so not happening.

Clark finally crawled out from underneath the couch so that he wouldn’t be tempted to eat any more strange bugs that lived under his sofa. ‘I’ll have to remember to vacuum under that when I turn back to normal… if I turn back to normal…’

Clark let out a petulant mew as his ears flopped down. He was feeling really sorry for himself.

After sitting there at the top of the stairs for a while, Clark decided to see if he could manage to get into the house and inform his parents of his condition.

~~~

Brooms are evil… and he was really unhappy with his parents, especially his mom.

It wasn’t his fault he climbed up on the screen door! He was trying to get in. Or at least position himself so that he could open the doorknob to the screen door before trying the main door.

But no~, his mom had to come out, see him and then smack him while he was on the screen door.

And since he hadn’t managed to land too well, he somehow fell back onto his tail.

Clark licked his painful wound carefully. Typical, of course the Red K wouldn’t leave any of his super powers in tact when he became a cat. Clark licked the blood off his bleeding wound again, ‘owwww… that hurts…’

~~~

Clark had tried to stay around the Kent farm, but every time Martha saw him, she would unhappily shoo him and the cows didn’t like him very much either, they kept trying to step on him because he was hungry and just wanted a little bit of milk… was a little bit too much to ask for?

Another thing that sucked was that he was a teenager so he became a really small cat. So when he saw his neighbor’s orange tabby that usually visited him, he felt a bit jittery.

As the tabby approached, he heard an older female voice.

“You smell strange.”

Clark quickly looked around, but when he realized that the orange cat was talking to him, he shrank back a bit.

The female tabby smelled him again, “Yes, you don’t smell like a cat.”

“I- I don’t …” Clark was thinking about lying again, but then he realized, who was she going to tell?

“Uh..” Clark continued. “I’m not really a cat. I got turned into a cat.”

The tabby looked at him suspiciously as she towered over him, “Huh… really… how odd. So what were you before you turned into a cat?”

“Clark?”

“Ah, the non-human. I would have guessed, you get into all sorts of strange trouble you know that?”

Clark ducked down as his ears flattened in discomfort as she circled him. “Uh… yes?”

“Hmm…” Then tabby said as she stopped in front of him and sat down. “You’re only just a baby huh.”

Clark gulped, “Uh… I donno.”

“Yes, just a baby kitty. Now Clark, do you know that you’re trespassing on Marvy’s territory?”

“Who’s Marvy?”

“My mate.” The tabby said seriously, “He’s usually hangs around the other side of the house, but sometimes he comes out to the front. I think you better leave. In case he wants to start a fight. He’s been a real grouch lately.”

Clark quickly scampered away from the tabby cat and tripped over his feel as he did so. Behind him he could hear the tabby chuckling to herself.

~~~

As the sun passed its highest point, Clark knew that it was sometime mid-noon as he reached town. He made sure to say away from the cars and he edged against the walls after he had been nearly stepped on by a farmer in boots.

Exhausted from the long walk and overheated from the summer sun, Clark slowly took his time and walked down to the Talon.

Maybe he could get a glass of water from Lana.

He waited until some teenagers walked in and then slipped between the door and made his way in. Inside Clark spotted Pete and Chloe.

‘Yay!’ Clark thought to himself. ‘Maybe I can find a way to get Pete to understand me and then he can help turn me back!’

Clark trotted over to the raised stools at the bar and hopped onto one of the vinyl seats between Chloe and Pete. Being the one with faster instincts, Chloe instantly noticed him when he hopped onto the stool. She let out a girlish squeal and started to pet him while cooing at him. Clark would have thought negatively of her silly baby talk if it weren’t for the deliciously wonderful hand that ran through his fur and rhythmically stroked him. Clark let out a blissful purring sound.

Then Pete suddenly jumped and realized that a cat was sitting next to him. “Hey! Where’s you come from?”

‘It’s me! Clark!’ Clark tried to say, but it came out as incoherent meowing.

“Aww! It’s so cute he’s trying to talk to you!” Chloe said as she scratched under Clark’s chin.

‘oooo… yeah, keep doing that…. Guh… what was I thinking?’

“How do you know it’s a guy and not a girl?” Pete asked as he eyed Clark, trying to figure out his gender.

“Female intuition. Besides he’s flirting with me. Aren’t you baby?… awww, you’re soo cute.” Chloe continued as Clark leaned into her touch. He really liked her long painted nails, they seemed to scratch in all the right places.

“You know animals aren’t allowed in the Talon.” Lana said seriously as she came up behind them.

“But Lana.” Chloe started.

“No.” Lana said sternly.

‘If I have to go, can I at least have some water? I’m so tired.’ Clark wondered as he tried to put his paw on Lana.

Lana made a face and moved out of his reach. Clark gave a sad mew as he looked at her with teary green eyes.

“Meeeew” Clark croaked softly through his dry throat.

“No.” Lana repeated, “You’re going to have to go. If I feed you, you’ll come back. There are no pets allowed in the Ta-a achoo!”

Clark flinched away from Lana, ‘Ewww… you got boogers on me…Can’t you cover your face when you sneeze?!’

“Get it! Achoo!” Out of here-achoo!” Lana said between sneezed as she moved away from Clark as fast as she could. Since Chloe or Pete didn’t move fast enough, one of the waitresses quickly came over and picked up Clark by the scruff of his neck and then roughly tossed him out onto the sidewalk.

Once again Clark fell onto his tail and he let out a painful yowl as he stumbled around and ran his face smack into a parking meter. Clark let out a soft cat sob as he crumpled down, tucked his tail beneath him, and lay near the meter. The pain from his abused tail was making him dizzy with pain and he could hardly move. He breathed through his dry mouth as he tried to keep his spinning head behind the meter’s shadow.

He was so occupied with trying to get over the pain that he never noticed the two black shoes that walked towards him. When he did notice, they were suddenly too close and Clark begged to god that someone wouldn’t accidentally step on him and crush him to death.

But the person with the black shoes stopped right in front of him and then the owner suddenly was kneeling down in front of him. As Clark looked up, half frightened, he realized that he was Lex!

‘Lex!’ Clark tried to say, but it came out as a weak mew.

Lex scooted a little closer and put a cool hand on Clark’s head. Clark gave a happy sigh.

“Hey, are you okay?” Lex asked.

Clark mewed and shifted upwards so that he could untuck his tail. Then he waved a red stained tail to Lex.

Lex sucked in some air and said softly, “That looks pretty bad. Do you want me to take you to a vet?”

Clark quickly shrank away. Then Lex quickly put up his hands, “Okay. Okay, no vet. How about you let me take you home so we can at least bandage that?”

Clark meowed and then scooted closer to Lex.

Lex gave him a soft smile and then held out a finger, “Wait a second okay?”

Lex quickly dashed over to the trunk of his car and pulled out a white towel. Then he opened the door of his passenger seat and laid the towel neatly on top of the chair. Next he crouched down again, picked up Clark, and put him onto the passenger seat, “There”

Clark laid back down as he nuzzled the cool fluffy white towel, ‘nnn… this feels nice’

Clark wasn’t sure he remembered Lex coming into the car and staring to drive, but he knew that when he woke up he was already in the Luthor mansion, his tail had been bandaged, and he was sleeping on a towel on Lex’s glass desk.

Clark raised a sleepy head and looked over at the screen Lex was staring at. It was full of graphs and number scattered all over the place.

‘Ick Clark thought’ as he shifted a little so that he could watch Lex.

When Lex realized that Clark was staring at him, he tensed and then looked down at Clark, “So, you mind telling me where you come from?”

“Meow.”

“Yeah, I thought so. Well, you don’t have a tag and I haven’t found anyone filing a recent report for a missing tuxedo cat in Smallville. So I’m guessing you’re a stray.”

“Meoow.”

“What is it?” Lex asked.

‘How do I tell him I’m thirsty?!’ Clark thought, then he decided to try out an idea. He stuck out his tongue and started lick the glass table.

Lex’s eyes enlarged as he comprehended, “Oh! Water, of course.”

Lex quickly walked over to the mini refrigerator in his office and pulled out a Tynant bottle, he was about to take it over when he remember that Clark didn’t have opposable thumbs, so he turned back around and grabbed a small bowl used for putting candy in.

Clark watch with anticipation as the water filled up the bowl and then he drank greedily after Lex pulled away the bottle.

“Sorry about that.” Lex said as he placed the bottle between Clark and his computer and then he held a tentative hand out to pet Clark.

Clark looked up at the hand the then hopped up to rub against it to show his gratitude.

Lex gave a soft chuckle as he continued to pet Clark and caused him to emit a loud purr.

“You know, I used to be allergic to cats and dogs. But after the meteor shower, I wasn’t allergic to anything anymore.” Lex continued to pet Clark, “I tried getting a pet afterwards, but Dad wouldn’t allow it even though the therapist said it would be good for me. Not even a goldfish, pretty mean huh? I guess after a while, I gave up hope on getting a pet and I sort of forgot about it.”

Lex then kneeled down so that he was face to face with Clark, “Maybe I should keep you, just so I can make Dad mad.”

Clark inwardly tittered at the idea and he gave a happy mew sound in agreement. Lex smirked, “I think I like you Cat.”

Clark scooted over to Lex, while still keeping his belly touching the towel. Then he reached his head out and licked Lex’s nose.

Lex gasped, startled by Clark’s action. But it quickly changed to amusement.

Then as Lex stood back up again so that he could go to work, he scooped up Clark with the towel and placed him in his lap as he looked over the statistics of the Smallville fertilizer plant. He kept his left hand on the mouse, so that he could scroll down the page and his right hand gently rubbed the sensitive area around Clark’s ears.

Clark recalled that he kept on purring until he fell asleep. And for once in a really long time, he felt really warm and safe.

Maybe being a cat wasn’t too bad. Especially if he was Lex’s cat.

Note: I kind of want to leave it there. Not sure though. Tell me what you think.